


Lola and Gee

by xotragician_child



Category: Frank Iero and the Patience, Gerard Way and the Hormones, LeATHERMØUTH, Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance, Pencey Prep, The Used, frnkiero andthe cellabration
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Childbirth, Drugs, Engagement, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Flashbacks, Frerard, Gay Smut, Hetero smut, M/M, Marriage, Multi, Other, Sex Addiction, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, break ups
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8642299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xotragician_child/pseuds/xotragician_child
Summary: After the break up, the boys known as My Chemical Romance all went their own way, living their own separate lives, trying to move on with their own separate ideals... Deal with their own nightmares, overcome their own struggles.And that's where Lola met Gee.Co-written with my good friend deerperkyset.





	1. Prologue- The Gutter Knows Better than a Mushy Love Letter

chapter by deerperkyset

 

Prologue

25 May 2006

Los Angeles, California

It had been a long day. Frank was drained, emotionally and mentally from recording. The Black Parade was in the works, coming together at an alarming rate. It had started out small, this idea, a mere spark that had turned into a raging fire. It was burning white hot, as white hot as Gerard's new hair colour, as everything was starting to fall into place. Gerard's creations was starting to take shape. This album was coming together so well and Frank was exhausted from it, putting his all into every recording.

But there was something else that he wanted to do. He had been planning this for a while now. His own idea that had started out small and was now like a forest fire burning inside of him. This was what he wanted to do. Needed to do. It made sense. It was perfect. Like a dream come true for him.

He just needed one answer. That was all. He was so sure he knew what his answer would be, but of course he didn't know and wouldn't know until he asked the question.

Frank was driving. He knew he should have been asleep, recharging himself for tomorrow's recording session, but this had to be done first. He saw it as more important than what he had been doing today. His hands were shaking as he gripped the steering wheel tightly, holding on as he tried to hold his nerves together.

What if he didn't get the answer he wanted? He was so sure that he would get it, but he couldn't be cocky and just assume that the word he was dying to hear was going to be the one that actually got spoken.

Frank took his eyes off of the road for a split second, looking over to the passenger seat where Jamia was sat, smiling, but she had an inquisitive look on her face as she looked out of the window, trying to figure out where Frank was taking her.

The original plan had backfired. There was this park that they had been to a few days before. It was beautiful. There was was a pond which was lined with trees and a clearing right by the side of the water. Frank loved that spot. He knew Jamia loved it too because he loved it. That was where he was going to ignore his nerves and ask the question. That was how he had imagined it would go in his head.

But it had been too late. The park was closed. Frank had been cross at himself for not driving down earlier, but he didn't want to rush Jamia. She had been sick in the morning, which he expected. She had been sick the past week, every morning.

That was obvious. He didn't mind either as he looked back over at Jamia, watching the small frown on her face as her hand rested on her stomach gently.

Not showing yet, but Frank still smiled warmly. His chest bubbled and his heart swelled as he looked at her before looking back at the road.

He was going to be a dad. They were going to be parents. Jamia was a few months in. The dating scan had happened and they were waiting for the nuchal scan to happen. Frank was so excited. So was Jamia. It was like a dream coming true for both of them.

Everything had been coming together so well recently. The band was making it. Three Cheers was done and dusted, they were halfway through recording The Black Parade. Jamia and baby were healthy, even though there had been some concerns early on. Frank ignored that though. Everything was coming together so well, so quickly, working out for the two of them that nothing bad could go wrong. Everything was going to work out.

Now Frank just wanted to top it all off. Ask the question he was dying to ask. Get the answer he was hoping to hear from Jamia and then that would be everything for him. He would be complete. This would be the icing on top of the cake for him.

"Where're we going?" Jamia asked curiously, wondering why Frank was so insistent that they went out for a drive tonight.

"'M, um, not telling." Frank spoke quickly, shooting her a small nervous smile because he didn't want to fuck this up. All this effort he had gone to. Okay, maybe he hadn't gone to a lot of effort, but it was the thought that counted more. He was actually going through with this tonight. It felt right. It was right. Now was the time.

Jamia pouted, "But I want to know where we're going."

"You'll, like, know soon enough." Frank told her, looking down the road to their destination which was...unknown.

Since the park was closed, Frank didn't know where he was going to do it. It wasn't just Jamia who would know where they were going when they got there. Frank would know too. He was just going to decide on a place when he found somewhere that seemed perfect. There had to be somewhere perfect. They were in Los Angeles. There had to be somewhere.

"Why did we stop at that park we went to the other day?" Jamia queried, raising an eyebrow at Frank, hoping to get some sort of clue out of him as to why they were driving now and where they were driving to.

"Um... Because." Frank said after a moment of thought, pulling on his bottom lip with his teeth, frowning habitually. It was the simplest answer without giving anything away.

"Because?"

"Mia..." Frank sighed, his hands shifting on the steering wheel as he thought about what to say to stop her questioning. He was nervous enough as it was. He didn't need all of the questioning on top of it. She could say no. Carrying his child was one thing. Yes, it was a person growing inside of her that would tie them together for life, but if she actually answered him with the answer he wanted when he asked the question he wanted to ask, that was going to be the best tie for life, "You ask too many questions."

"I've asked two questions." Jamia pointed out, correcting Frank because there was no way that asking two questions meant that she had asked too many.

"Yeah no. That's too many."

"I just wanna know where we are going," Jamia whined, her hand resting on her stomach, "I'm hungry. We should get burgers. With fries...and, oh, extra pickles."

Frank shook his head, smiling softly at Jamia because her eating habits had rocketed recently, eating foods that she would usually eat thanks to her cravings. Pickles were new. She wanted to eat pickles with everything. For breakfast, with lunch and now apparently dinner tonight.

"Well get food," Frank said, knowing that he too was hungry. He had barely eaten today, what with recording and his nerves for tonight, but this was more important right now. Food could wait just a little bit longer, "Just, um... Let me, like, find this place."

"Do you even know where you are going?" Jamia chuckled. She knew what he could get like, all stubborn behind the wheel, not wanting to admit when he was lost until he was really well and truly lost. Then he would just sulk as he swapped with whoever his passenger was, sulking because he couldn't find where he was going.

"Yeah no of course I do." Frank snorted.

Lies.

"So where are we going?"

"That is two more questions y'know," Frank answered, not giving Jamia the answer she actually wanted, "Stop asking."

Frank took a turning onto a road that had an incline. Maybe going up higher would been a good idea. He hadn't been on these roads before. He felt a little disorientated, but he also had his fingers crossed that he was going to find this perfect spot very soon. If Jamia was going to keep question why they were out and where they were going then Frank really wanted to get to the perfect spot.

And not long after that, there was the spot. Frank nearly missed it. He had ended up taking another turning, going higher up the hill he was on more. The road turned into a dirt road lined with thick, dark trees and then there, there was the spot. He saw it in the corner of his eye and instantly he knew that the opening in the trees that revealed the city below them was the perfect spot to him.

Frank pulled the car up to the side of the road, killing the engine and letting silence surround them for a second.

"Where are we?" Jamia questioned slowly, looking out of the windscreen. They were on the side of a road. That was all she knew as she looked out, looking at the road stretching out next to their car, curving around before she looked at the glow and the sparkle of the city below them.

"We're here." Frank said.

"I can see that," Jamia smirked, "But where's here?"

"Um. Here."

"Are we by a gutter?" Jamia asked, squinting as she looked out of the window, "I see a gutter."

"That doesn't matter. I, um- I wanted you to see the lights," Frank spoke smoothly like this was his plan all along. Maybe parking by a gutter wasn't part of the plan, but he ignored that. Of course Frank had known where he was going. Of course what he wanted to do was going to plan. Of course the park was never the first choice. Frank could lie and he felt like he was doing a pretty good job of lying right now as he looked down at the city with here, "It's amazing."

"It really is." Jamia agreed, her free hand sliding through the space between them to take hold of Frank's hand. Her fingers intertwined with his, holding onto him as they both admired the view.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Jamia replied, squeezing Frank's hand gently.

There was silence again for a moment. The pair looked out of the car at the view, the city below them. It was a light, glowing out into the night, like it was alive. This thrum of life below them. All hustle and bustle. The lights on the buildings twinkled like stars. Cars moved through the city like glowing ants. The roads running through the city like veins. It really was a sight, this beautiful sparkling sight that took Frank's breath away for a second. He felt so small for a moment, feeling miniscule sat in his car whilst they looked out over the huge spread of the lit city below them.

He grounded down though, zoning back into reality when he looked over to Jamia sat next to him in the car. She held his hand as she looked out of the car, watching the city below them. She smiled softly, eyes flickering every time she looked at a different spot of the city.

Her hand squeezed his gently, but she wasn't holding onto his hand tightly. Maybe like a sign. Like she knew she didn't have to hold onto him tightly because she knew he wasn't going anywhere. He knew he wasn't going anywhere and he was about to prove it as he took in a deep breath, readying himself.

"Do you, um, remember when we met?" Frank asked, looking over to Jamia, his lip in his teeth again, tugging.

"High school," She chuckled softly, "You were seventeen and one of the cool kids."

"Yeah no... I was not cool." Frank winced. He didn't think he was cool. He knew he was a bit of a massive dork so there was no way in hell that he could ever have been labelled as cool at high school. No one is cool at high school. There are the people who try so hard to be cool at high school, but they never are.

"You were in a band. You were cool to me."

Frank smirked at that, still not thinking that he was ever cool at any point in high school. If she wanted to believe it, then fine. Jamia could think whatever she wanted.

"I had such a crush on you at school. I wanted to go up to you and talk to you, but I always got too nervous to talk to you. Then I heard your band was doing that battle of the bands gig and I knew I had to go." Jamia blushed as she reminisced.

"Oh god, I remember that gig," Frank winced as he remembered what she was talking about, "We, um, lost."

"I snuck out because mom said that I couldn't go. My friend stole a bottle of vodka from her parents, saying that it would help me talk to you. I was so nervous. You were so cool up on stage and I honestly thought that you wouldn't care about me if I spoke to you," Jamia carried on, her hand still holding onto Franks, "I had one drink, thinking that I could talk to you after the gig. I found you out the back of the club, loading up your gear with your dad and I just...I did it."

"I thought you were, um, just a fangirl." Frank chuckled.

"I was," Jamia admitted, "But I really liked you. And you talked to me. You thanked me for coming to the gig and I told you we were at the same school. I asked if you wanted to hang out at school... and that was it. It began."

"We began," Frank smiled warmly at her, squeezing her hand gently, looking at her because fuck, even now, Frank still felt so lucky to have Jamia. Felt so lucky to have what he had now. Everything. The band, the baby on the way, the question he had sitting, waiting in the back of his mind, "I was so nervous too because um... I don't think I had ever, um, properly liked someone before. Y'know then you came along and everything changed."

"I love you," Jamia said, mimicking Franks admittance earlier, "Y'know I got grounded for a week after that gig. My parents were furious. But I didn't care because I had finally spoken to you."

"You rebel," Frank laughed, "I love you too."

There was silence again. The pair looked out over the city again. Their smiles stayed on their faces as they thought about it all beginning. The high school romance, the dates to the movie theatre, sneaking out of classes to see each other. The first time love yous were expressed.

Frank knew early on that he wanted to marry her one day. She was his one. It didn't matter that she was his first official girlfriend. It felt right, everything felt right and right now the question was dying to be out there. The moment was perfect and Frank's other hand was reaching into the small pocket on his car door, fingers wrapping around the small ring box that he had hidden there earlier.

Now was the time. Frank knew it as he sucked in a shaky breath, building up the courage to do this.

"Mia," Frank started, "There's something I, um, want to ask you."

"Oh yeah?" She spoke, raising an eyebrow at him.

"How long have we been together now?"

We've been together..." Jamia started, working it out in her head. "Eight years."

"That's a long time," Frank nodded, wondering why he hadn't asked her this question sooner. He had known for so long that he wanted to marry her. But the time had never been right before. It was so right now, especially with how everything was coming together so smoothly. It didn't matter if he had never asked her before. He was asking her now. That was all that mattered, "We've even been through so much and y'know now... We love each other and um, I wanna ask you something that I, um, probably should have asked you a long time ago, but um, now is a good time and..."

"Frank?" Jamia spoke nervously, wondering what he was doing. She had an idea, but she couldn't assume that he was doing what she thought he was doing. What if he didn't do what she thought he was doing. She wouldn't be disappointed, so to speak. She would still have Frank, no matter what. They didn't need a ring to prove that they loved each other, but still, she knew what she wanted.

"Jamia..." Frank cut off, nerves bubbling inside of him as his hand wrapped tighter around the ring box. This was it. He was doing it. This was actually about to happen. Maybe not at the spot in the park where he had originally wanted to do it, but it was happening and the city below them looked beautiful so it was perfect. Frank ignored his nerves, pushing them down as far as he could as he pulled the box out of hiding, opening it before the question was finally coming out of his mouth, "Will you marry me?"

Jamia didn't say anything. She just stared at the ring in the box with her mouth hung open slightly. Frank didn't know if the look on her face was good or bad. Was it shock? Was it fear? Was it the magnitude of the moment taking over her as she looked at what Frank was holding out along with what he had asked her.

There were several ways this could have gone. It wasn't just as simple as saying yes or no. She could have said that she couldn't answer. Saying that she needed to think about Frank's proposal.

There was nothing to think about though. It was up to her, whether she wanted to marry him or not.

He hoped that she wanted to marry him or this point in time right now would have been a disaster.

She could have laughed at him. Finding his proposal hilarious before giving him an answer.

No was the worst outcome. Frank would have been crushed if she said that she didn't want to marry him. They were already having a baby. This was just another small step on top of the baby so really, he assumed that she would want to marry him if she was already carrying his child.

Or the other option, which was just as bad, could have been that she didn't want him at all. The love yous didn't mean anything and this was breaking point. She was done with him and they were breaking up.

No, that really was the worst and totally over the top. Frank knew he was totally over thinking every possible outcome now as he waited for her answer.

But she still hadn't answered. She just stared at the delicate engagement ring in the box in his hand with her eyes wide.

"Well?" He asked nervously, breaking the silence, attempting to nudge her towards answering him.

"You're asking me to marry you...by a gutter?" Jamia laughed.

"Yeah no, can we just ignore the gutter for a second," Frank sighed, "Will you do me the honours of making me the happiest man in the world?"

Jamias mouth closed, forming a smile before she nodded, "Yes. Yes I will marry you."

"Really?" Frank said, sounding shocked that she was actually saying yes to him. It felt like a dream. One that was coming true.

"Yes you idiot," Jamia laughed again, "I'm having your baby. Of course I want to marry you."


	2. 1- Love Can Bite You in the You Know What

chapter by xotragician_child

 

Chapter 1

26 May 2006

Gerard had woken up extra early that day, his mind working overtime. He sat for ages in the dusk writing a new song for recording later, wanting to show the rest of the guys and try and work on it.

And it wasn't a happy song either. He had sat for ages in an arm chair, staring at Eliza in their bed in the dark, watching her pleasant, peaceful sleep as he steepled his fingers.

Yes, when they had met at one of My Chem's first gigs, Gerard had a bit of Dutch courage coursing through his veins. And by a bit, Gerard was absolutely pissed. He stumbled over to the girl standing at the merch table, striking up some conversation that had apparently involved t-shirt designs.

And they hit it off thereafter, yes okay it may have started as a one night stand, but from then on Eliza never left him alone. Lord knows how she got his number, Gerard always suspected it was Mikey as some sort of practical joke. A practical joke that Mikey now completely regretted.

And then they just ended up together and Gerard grew fond of the ditsy girl, and the rest of the band went with it, noticing slowly that she was good with hair and makeup, the woman responsible for Gerard looking like a murder victim, the blood make up for 'I'm Not Okay' and even the original of Frank's raccoon hairdo.

Eliza did the hair and the make up and as much as the band almost hated her, they never denied her skills.

But lately, the girl that Gerard had grown to love, the girl Gerard had proposed to, was seeping away, curling back inside and this other... being, was slowly creeping out. This clingy, needy, flippant, raging 5'6 hormone. She was all over the place and it sometimes scared the living hell out of Gerard, he was never one to judge a person, but his fiancé was questionable to say the least.

And as much as he knew he loved her. He wasn't sure anymore. And yes they were engaged, and yes Gerard wanted to be married to her. And he was hoping it would just calm down. That after Black Parade was done recording he would offer to get her some help.

And they would go back to the way they were.

Hopefully.

But with the way Gerard felt now, he wasn't so sure on his opinion anymore.

And it hit him the night before.

He didn't love her.

Not like he used to.

And that's where Gerard had the idea. That he wasn't able to tell her to her face. He decided that morning that he was going to write a song about it. That hopefully the usually sharp girl would catch on on what he was trying to say.

And he had eventually finished a rough version of it to run by the rest of the band and then work on it as they always did.

And so Gerard had decided he wanted to go in an hour earlier to work on it before everyone else. And of course Eliza wanted to go with. She would never let Gerard go somewhere without her.

So they arrived at the recording studio early with the security guard opening for them. Gerard walked in, towing his fiancé along as she closed the door behind him.

"Okay, um, like... So I have something to get to," Gerard nodded to himself and put his hands on Eliza's tiny shoulders, pushing her down onto the plush brown sofa, "But you... Yeah, you can wait here, babe."

"M'kay." she replied cheerily, holding onto the end of the sofa with her hands, leaning forward expectantly.

Gerard sighed, smiling slightly before he leaned down, kissing her lips chastely when he straightened up and grabbed his backpack.

He set the bag on one of the roller chairs and opened it, scratching around for the sheet of paper when he pulled it out, straightening out the creases before setting it on the soundboard.

He sat in the chair and picked up a pencil, biting on the end of it, looking at the lyrics over and over.

He was trying so hard to get this song right, convey the right message, the recipient of the song being able to understand what he so badly wanted to say.

And then he felt two tiny hands on his shoulders, massaging softly, sliding down over his chest. He frowned, trying to ignore it, tapping the pencil on the side of his nose.

"Gee...." Eliza whined out dramatically, kissing the side of his neck with small pecks.

"Babe, c'mon. I'm busy." Gerard sighed out again and she stopped. He continued, scribbling out a couple words here and there when she felt her chin on his shoulder.

"Gee...." she whined out again.

"Eliza." Gerard said firmly, setting the pencil down on the soundboard and turning to look at her, frowning.

"Pwease, Geebear." she pouted slightly and Gerard bit his lip, looking into her pale, sparkling blue eyes when he got up.

He shrugged his black leather jacket off and sunk into the sofa, patting his lap. She giggled happily, climbing on top of his lap, straddling his legs, her icy hands holding the back of his neck.

"So, uh..." Gerard began but he was cut off, Eliza's lips on his in a gentle kiss. He sighed out through his nose, his hands instinctively sliding their way up her sides to rest on the back of her hips, holding her down against him. She deepened the kiss, letting out a small moan as she readjusted.

Gerard kissed back, his tongue swirling around with hers, tilting his head to the side as he dug his fingers into her skin. She let go, looking at Gerard, who looked back, as she bit on her lip. She readjusted again, sliding further, sitting directly on his crotch with a flump.

He winced in pain, choosing not to comment but instead merely pulled her back down. Attaching their lips yet again. Her hands slid down, holding onto his shoulders, slowly grinding down into him.

It didn't necessarily perturb Gerard that this is what she wanted to do right now, no. What red blooded man would say no to a cute girl grinding on his crotch like it was a lifeline?

Not Gerard Way.

Not by a long shot.

He tightened his grip on her hips, pulling her down, letting out a shaky breath through his nostrils as she tugged on his bottom lip.

He let out a moan, pulling her down into him, rolling his own hips up, his jeans aching slightly.

But not that Gerard Way was a hormonal teenager all over again, he didn't pop a boner looking at a store mannequin's tits like he did when he was twelve.

And no, Gerard Way could not just immediately get hard as much as he used to, not that it was difficult in the slightest, but it took more than a few moments of a girl grinding on him for it to make any sort of a difference.

And yes it was, it certainly was, but it would have to be a little while longer until his jeans would be on the long side of agony.

"Gee..." she whined softly and sat back to look at him, biting on her pouty lip.

"Y- Yeah?" he asked out, slightly breathless.

She didn't reply, merely grinding herself down against him even more, slow and deliberate and Gerard couldn't deny he was starting to feel it. He sucked in a breath, closing his eyes, leaning back against the chair, his head slightly on the wall.

He could hear her soft whimpers under the thrumming in his ears but then he also heard it, another sound that made his senses come screeching to a halt.

Voices.

Close by.

Gerard opened his eyes, all but grabbing Eliza by the knees and throwing her off him, launching himself into the swirl chair nearby that spun around.

Eliza let out a cry of surprise, falling backwards on the sofa just as Mikey and Ray walked in with the record producer behind them.

Mikey eyed his brother, pulling his hoodie straight, his bass strapped to his back with Ray at his side looking way too fresh-faced for 6am.

"Hey." Gerard smiled, letting out a long breath.

"'Sup." Ray replied but Mikey eyed him.

"When did you get here?"

"Um, y'know... 'Bout an hour ago." Gerard shrugged.

"I didn't hear you leave." Mikey frowned again.

And that was the thing. Since they were recording in LA and not in their hometown, they did not have their own places to stay and since it was taking more than a week to record an entire album, the band had decided to rent out an apartment for the month, the entire group staying in the same four walls.

With the two couples, Gerard and Eliza dn Frank and Jamia, taking the two bedrooms, it left Ray on the futon and Mikey on the sofa, legs and all.

Mikey's short-time girlfriend at the time, Alicia, was at home, knowing and surprisingly trusting her boyfriend in another city.

Jamia however was on the fence about trusting her boyfriend and as far as Eliza was concerned. There was trust, but privacy and space, those two words didn't even register.

"Yeah, like, I didn't wanna wake you guys. I was, um, workin' on a song." Gerard tapped the sheet of paper and Ray looked up in surprise and wandered over, snatching it away as they Way brother's looked at each other.

"Have you seen Frank?" Mikey then asked, his eyes glancing to Eliza for a second, who was on her phone, and back at Gerard.

"What?" the older brother frowned, "I saw him last night before he disappeared with Mia."

"You sure?" Mikey asked, no, insinuated and as much as he had all right to, Gerard felt insulted slightly.

"Yes. I'm fuckin' sure, Mikey." Gerard leaned back in the chair, "Why?"

"Didn't come home." Mikey merely shrugged, "Thought you mighta seen him."

"Yeah, well, yeah I didn't see him, y'know." Gerard grumbled and turned away, frowning to himself at the lack of rhythm guitarist in the room.

And so an hour later Gerard sat in the recording studio with the rest of his band, minus Frank, who had yet to tell anyone where he had been or where he was. He sat hand in hand with Eliza. He looked over the sheet music as she smiled at him lovingly, her hand picking at his white hair, sprucing and flattening.

"Uh, Can- Can you..." he put her hand down in her lap, giving her a smile. She leaned in, kissing his nose with a giggle as he looked down again at the music, humming to himself.

"Bro?"

"Yeah?" Gerard asked, his head snapping up to see Mikey spread out in one of the swing chairs beside Ray, who was strumming lightly on his guitar, trying to pick up the rhythm Gerard had tried to show him for their new song.

"Heard from Frank yet?" Mikey asked, pursing his lips unhappily.

"Not yet." Gerard shrugged, ignoring the niggle of worry in the back of his mind.

"For fuck sake. It's been a fuckin' hour." Mikey replied with a huff, swinging around again, shoving his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

"He'll, um, be here, he's just running late." Gerard shrugged, biting on his own lip when he looked over at Eliza, who was adoringly fiddling with her engagement ring.

"Gee?" she crooned softly and he cleared his throat in response, "Watcha workin' on, sweetheart?"

Gerard ignored his brother's soft retching noises in the background and Gerard set the sheet music down, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, "Nothin' to concern yourself with, babe. Just new music."

"Oh." She smiled, leaning to put her head on his chest and Gerard ran a hand through her own white hair, stroking the soft strands contentedly as they waited for Frank.

And the sat up, snatching the sheet of music from beside Gerard. He felt his stomach tighten uncomfortably.

Everyone turned to face them now, watching even if they didn't want to. Everyone who knew the couple knew there would be at least one massive argument a day and Gerard knew that everyone was hoping it would be the argument of all arguments, the one that ended in the end of their relationship. For good.

"What's this?" she held up the page, shoving it in Gerard's face.

Play it cool, Gerard thought to himself.

"It's just a new song." Gerard smiled, taking the page before she snatched it back.

"'I Don't Love You'?" She asked menacingly, "Who the fuck is this for?"

"Enter hurricane Eliza." Mikey whispered and she froze.

"Can you get your brother to shut the fuck up!" She yelled and Mikey's smirk grew wider as he leaned back in the chair.

"You have a pretty loud mouth, I'm sure I heard you." Mikey responded and Eliza looked like she was about to implode.

"Who the fuck is this for, Gerard Way." she hissed, standing up and Gerard felt like his balls were about to jump back up into his body as he stood up.

"It,s y'know, just a song."

"Oh fuck off!" she yelled, looking down at the page, her frown deepening with each and every line, "Wh..."

Gerard let out a shaky sigh, running a hand through his hair as he looked at everyone, even Ray, the man who stayed out of everyone's business, was now watching, leaning his arms on his guitar.

"Eliza."

"This..." She began, "Did you write this for me?" she shrieked and Gerard grimaced, feeling completely demasculated right then, even if it were true.

"Babe, just..."

"Don't you dare fuckin' 'babe' me!" she yelled, "Is this fuckin' song for me or not! You don't love me?!" she asked out incredulously.

Gerard looked down, choosing his words carefully.

"So what if it is?" Mikey asked and Eliza literally went maroon in the face and turned to glare at him.

"But the fuck out, kid!"

"Don't you talk to him like that!" Gerard yelled, spinning her around, "And yeah! So what if i wrote this for you. So what if i don't fuckin' love you like I did yesterday!~ Do you fuckin' blame me! You're insane, Eliza!"

"No I'm not!" she yelled back, her teeth clenched shut, her hands balling into fists, squeezing the sheet of paper in her claws.

"Yes you are! Look at you!" Gerard raised a hand as an example and she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah! Well..." She looked down at the page before tearing it in two, throwing it at him, "Maybe I should just take my gloves and get out then, huh?!"

"I'm not fuckin' stoppin' you!" Gerard yelled as she reached down, grabbing her handbag and scooping it up. She stared at them for a moment before pulling the ring off of her finger and throwing it right at Gerard.

It hit his chest and bounced onto the ground, he stared at it for a moment, not sure whether to touch it or not when she scooped it up again, "M- Maybe I was a bit hasty but..."

"Eliza, for the love of God!" Gerard yelled out in frustration, "The song was for you okay?! No one else!"

"I'm sure you don't mean it." she smiled sweetly and Ray's eyes widened in surprise, Gerard saw him say something to Mikey, who merely shook his head in defeat.

"I do. I don't love you anymore." Gerard bit his lip, "Give me my ring back."

She stared at him with wide eyes for what felt like ages, ice piercing his soul as she clutched the silver band in her palm, frozen to the spot, "No but it's mine. Y- You gave it to me. You said- You wanted me forever. You said!"

"Before you went bat shit!" Gerard replied, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"I'm. Not. Crazy!" She screamed loudly, turning and running out of the recording studio and out of the building, leaving the room in eerily silence.

"I don't get it." Ray said out loud and Gerard turned to look at him.

"Did you break up or not?"

"I don't fuckin' know, man..." Gerard sighed, picking up the two pieces of paper she had torn up.

"It really is a pretty hurtful song, man." Ray said again and Gerard bit his lip.

"It's honest. Whatever I felt for her in the beginning is gone. I don't love her anymore. I don't want to be with someone I don't love." Gerard sighed softly.

"So do you still wanna record it?" Mikey asked, turning to look up at his brother as he ran a hand through his slick chestnut hair before flattening it, a ritual he does at least four times a fucking minute.

"Yeah, I really do. I just- like, y'know... I want it to be a good song, y'know. I want it to reflect how I, um, and other people feel when, like, you love someone the exact opposite of you and how badly it can, uh, hurt." Gerard muttered, his stomach churning.

"What about Eliza?"

"I'll just let her cool down for a while and go and find her later." Gerard shrugged, "Y'know, like every time before this."

"Alright."

"Where the fuck is Frank?!" Mikey yelled out angrily.


	3. 2- There's No Such Thing As Happy Endings

chapter by deerperkyset

Chapter 2

"Where the hell have you been?" Ray asked, his voice laced with annoyance as he saw who had finally decided to show up.

Frank just strolled through the door, a smile plastered onto his face as he walked in like he wasn't even a minute late.

"I'm, um, not that late." Frank protested, still smiling. He swore he was only about twenty minutes late. The guys could manage without him for twenty minutes. He was so sure of it with what had distracted him this morning.

"You're nearly an hour late," Ray grumbled, picking his guitar up to tune it and hopefully start recording since they were already an hour behind now thanks to Frank and his lateness, "You knew what time to be here."

"Yeah no... I um, I got distracted." Frank blushed, chewing on his bottom lip as he looked down at his feet.

"Someone got laid then." Mikey piped up, smirking before he took a sip on the coffee he had been nursing since he got there. It was obvious. Frank was always in a good mood when he had had sex.

"Like just because I'm, um, late doesn't mean I got laid y'know." Frank mumbled, trying to hide any sort of blush because yeah, he may have totally got laid because he proposed last night.

"So, like, where were you last night?" Gerard piped up from the swivel chair he was sat in, holding onto two pieces of ripped up paper, "Mikes, um, said you didn't come back last night."

"It got late," Frank explained, missing out a few minor details about what he got up to last night, "We stayed in a motel so we wouldn't wake you guys up."

Also stayed in a motel so you wouldn't hear us having sex, Frank thought to himself, smirking about his own thoughts as he sat himself down on the sofa.

"Like did you not, um, think to let one of us, like, know that you weren't comin' back?" Gerard asked, voice laced with annoyance as he set the ripped pieces of paper down.

"Sorry, um. Didn't consider it," Frank shrugged, "I was, um, a little preoccupied last night."

"And, like, this morning?" Gerard continued, "You couldn't have, like, called us or sent us, like, a text saying, sorry I didn't come back, like also, I am going to be late?"

"Jeez," Frank groaned, leaning back on the sofa, "I, um, didn't know I brought my mom to the studio. Like yeah no I didn't know I had to keep you up to date with everythin' I do. Next time I'll, like, tell you where I am, what I'm doing, like how long I will be gone for. I mean um, can I go to the bathroom by myself? Or like, will you wanna hold my hand?"

Gerard mumbled, spinning his chair round to have his back facing Frank. Frank didn't hear what he said exactly, but it did sound like something along the lines of fuck you while he started to line the torn paper up on the desk.

"What's up with you?" Frank frowned, noticing the black cloud that seemed to be hovering over Gerard. He was in a terrible mood. The thing was, Gerard's moods were easy to distinguish, especially when he was pissed off. Silent, yet when he spoke he would be ridiculous. Mumbling, but the kind of mumbling you only caught the end of so you knew what he was saying to a degree. He was pissed off and Frank could tell.

"Nothing', doesn't matter." Gerard shot his answer back to Frank, not wanting to go into it.

"No seriously," Frank however carried on, wanting to get to the bottom of Gerard's sour mood, "What crawled up your ass and died?"

"I said it doesn't fuckin' matter!" Gerard snapped, slamming his hands down on the desk. The room fell silent. Frank looked at Ray, shrugging at him, wondering if he knew what Gerard's problem was.

"Sorry Ger-"

"Doesn't matter," Gerard huffed out, spinning his chair to get out of it. He grabbed his wallet, walking towards the door, "I'm gonna get coffee."

"But recording?" Ray piped up, wondering what the fuck was going on and if this recording session was ever going to start today.

"Well if he can just, like, fuckin' waltz in the door then I can just walk out of it to get myself a coffee," Gerard spoke, "Or do I, like, need permission?"

"Can, um, you get me a coffee?" Frank asked, but Gerard didn't hear the last part of his question. He had stormed out, not waiting for Ray to say anything. Not waiting for anyone to say anything. He was gone and in a huff, leaving the studio in shocked and awkward silence.

Frank turned to look at Ray and Mikey, looking so confused like, had he done something wrong with going out last night with Jamia and staying out? Had something happened before he arrived? "Like what the hell is wrong with him?"

"What do you think?" Ray sighed, setting his guitar down because this studio session was just not happening. It had to happen or they would end up behind schedule, but apparently Gerard didn't care about that right now. Yes, he had shit to deal with, shit being Eliza who had just blown up, but this was important. The album was important.

"Eliza," Frank shook his head, knowing exactly who got Gerard riled up like that. Frank knew only one person who could piss Gerard off enough to storm out of a studio session. Walking out and not giving a shit about anything else other than his horrendous mood and his need for coffee, "Is she still here?"

"Nope." Ray smiled, thankful that she wasn't still here.

"She stormed out, but not before going apeshit," Mikey said, "Gerard basically wrote a song about her."

"What?" Frank frowned before Mikey handed him the torn up pieces of paper. He scanned over the scrawled out lyrics, reading what Gerard had created. The song that was screaming out that if Gerard used to be in love, well, he clearly wasn't anymore, "Fuck, I'm guessin' she didn't take it well?"

"What do you think?" Ray scoffed, folding his arms across his chest, "She screamed at him, threw the engagement ring at him before changing her mind...and then she screamed some more, claiming she wasn't crazy before she stormed out."

"She is crazy." Frank snorted, setting the pieces of paper down, sitting back on the sofa, taking it all in. He didn't love her. This had to be the best thing, not just for Gerard because that meant that he was leaving her, but it meant something to Frank. It meant so much thanks to something he had admitted before, "Have they broken up?"

"Who fuckin' knows." Mikey spoke, sounding exasperated over the situation, "We don't know."

"Well fuck, I, um, feel bad now because...um, I have some good news I wanted to tell you all, y'know." Frank smiled, unable to stop the smile from growing on his face because fuck, she had actually said yes to him. Frank was still over the moon, he was never going to get over how happy he was because this was real and everything was just working out right now.

Yeah, it was bad timing, what with Eliza throwing yet another crazy shouting fit at Gerard, but Frank didn't want to hide how happy he was. He would happily shout it from a rooftop if he could, but he was just going to have to be okay with telling his bandmates after Jamia had said that he could announce everything.

\---

Frank was too wrapped up in congratulations to notice Gerard coming back into the studio, hand clutching onto a polystyrene mug of coffee. Frank was grinning like an idiot as Ray pulled him into a hug, slapping his back a couple of times before he congratulated him yet again, saying that he was so happy for Frank.

"What's goin' on?" Gerard asked, frowning as he watched Ray release Frank from their hug. Frank noticed him then, seeing the confusion on Gerard's face as he smiled at him.

"I...fuck, I still can't believe she said yes." Frank gasped, the smile so wide on his face as Mikey patted him on the back, nodding out a congratulations which Frank thanked him for.

"Who said yes?" Gerard asked, setting his coffee down as he watched what was going on, "Frank...what is goin' on?"

"Yeah no I, um, asked Mia to marry me last night," Frank beamed, nearly bouncing on his feet as he smiled at Gerard, "And, like, she said yes to me. Fuck, we're gettin' married."

"What?" Gerard frowned, totally getting what Frank said, but it wasn't sinking in too quickly.

"So happy for you man." Mikey said before looking at Gerard, giving him this knowing look of just be happy for him alright.

"Thanks, well um, that's not everythin'," Frank spoke, practically bursting at the seams to announce what Jamia had said he could tell the guys. Their next scan was a week away, Frank knew he couldn't wait nearly another week to announce this news, "Mia said that, um, I could tell you guys now cause, well like, we are like a family y'know."

"Is this the news that you got laid last night?" Mikey chuckled.

"No," Frank sighed, shaking his head because Mikey was still going on about what business he got up to last night. He wasn't going to just announce that he had sex last night and sex this morning which meant that he was so late for getting to the studio. Yes, his news did involve sex to a degree, but not last night or this morning's action, "Just um...wait for me to, like, tell you guys."

"Then tell us before we lose anymore studio time." Ray said, wondering what Frank else Frank was going to announce.

"Guys um...fuck, it doesn't feel real, but like, I'm gonna be a dad."

The studio was silent for a second as the news sunk in, then everyone erupted into more congratulations. Frank was grinning from ear to ear as Ray hugged him again, saying that he was going to be an awesome dad. Mikey was congratulating, ignoring the text he had just gotten from Alicia to tell Frank that him and Jamia were going to be awesome parents.

Everyone was congratulating, except Gerard.

Frank spotted Gerard when he was in the middle of Ray's hug. He saw him leaning on the desk, picking up his cup of coffee, bringing it up to his lips to take a sip. But Frank saw the face he pulled before he took a drink. It looked a little like a look of disgust that a petulant child would make if they saw their parents being affectionate. He did not look impressed at Frank's news. He just looked like he had been sucking on a lemon, the dark cloud in the studio whilst Frank and his news was the beaming rays of sunshine brightening the room up.

"You gonna congratulate him man?" Ray piped up when he saw the scowl on Gerard's face, trying to get him to join in.

"Oh...um, yeah," Gerard mumbled, holding his cup of coffee close to his chest, "Whatever, like congratulations Frank."

"Do you wanna make it sound like you mean it?" Mikey walked over to Gerard, jabbing a finger into his side to make him snap out of the bad mood everyone knew he was in.

"I mean it." Gerard insisted.

"What's wrong with you Gee?" Frank asked, wondering if he spent any time with Gerard today, was his bad mood just going to ruin Frank's good mood. Frank didn't want Gerard in asked bad mood. Today was a good day, Frank just wanted to knock him out of his bad mood and put a smile on his face.

"Nothing."

"Is it Eliza?" Frank pushed, hearing the room go silent as the dreaded name was mentioned, "Like just fuckin' ignore that crazy bitch."

"I said it was nothing." Gerard snapped, setting his cup of coffee down on the desk, not caring that he had just spilt some of the hot liquid onto one of his notebooks.

"Gerard-"

"Just leave it Frank!" Gerard practically shouted at him, making Frank flinch back as Gerard pushed himself off of the desk, storming out of the studio room.

The room was silent yet again. Frank chewed on his bottom lip as he turned on his feet to face the guys, shrugging at them.

"Just let him cool down," Mikey smiled weakly, "You know what he gets like."

"I know," Frank sighed, nodding, thinking for a second before he took a step towards the studio door. He didn't want his happy day clouded by a bad mood. The next thing he could think of doing was going to go and talk to Gerard, try and knock him out of his bad mood in some way, "I'll just, um, go and see how he is."

"Good luck," Mikey chuckled, "You may be the only one who can knock him out of his funk right now."

Frank smiled at that, knowing that he seemed to have this wonderful effect on Gerard when it came to his bad moods. Call it a knack, call it whatever, Frank just nodded to Mikey and Ray, saying that he wouldn't be long before he disappeared out of the studio room in search of Gerard.

The hall was empty. There was no sign of Gerard as Frank walked down the hallway. Frank wondered if he had gone outside to have a smoke, calm down that way, but Frank still checked the rooms he was walking past, poking his head around the doors to see if he could find him. But he couldn't. Frank could feel slight frustration building up in him because he couldn't find Gerard, but when he stuck his head around the door to the toilets, he saw him, hands gripping onto the sides of the basin with his head hung down and his eyes closed.

"Hey," Frank spoke softly, stepping inside the toilet, making Gerard lift his head up to look at him, "You okay buddy?"

"Yeah," Gerard sighed, running a hand through his hair as he nodded at Frank, "I'm fine."

"You didn't seem it," Frank chuckled, leaning against the wall next to the basin, looking at Gerard, "What's going on?"

"What do you think?"

"Eliza went crazy again?"

"Yup," Gerard nodded before shaking his head, "Like, I don't know what the fuck to do."

"Yeah no I know what you should do," Frank responded, "Dump her."

"It's not that simple."

"Yeah um, It really is," Frank insisted, "Like just tell her that you don't want to be with her anymore."

"I tried too..." Gerard told Frank, "She went crazy, y'know. She said she isn't crazy. Like she is though. She's driving me insane and...Like I want out."

"Then have out!" Frank said, knowing that it could be simple if Gerard just did it. Like ripping off a band aid. Don't do it slowly, do it quickly, do it now and get it over and done with, "Gee... Y'know every time you've been pissed off recently, it's been because of her. She's like a black cloud over you, bringin' you down."

"I know," Gerard nodded again. Frank knew what he easy talking about because he had watched Gerard and Eliza from the moment they hooked up. She latched on, she wouldn't let go, but Gerard needed to let go. Even Gerard knew that as he smiled weakly at Frank, "Sorry... I ruined your good news."

"It's fine," Frank smiled at Gerard, "You can't help Eliza."

"Like I'm happy for you though, I am, just..." Gerard started, but he never finished. He just dropped his head back down, eyes closing again.

"Just?"

"Everyone is fuckin' happy. Mikey is startin' out with Alicia. Ray has Christa. You have Jamia y'know... And a baby on the way. Then there's me. Stuck in an unhappy relationship with Eliza. 'M unhappy and... I just want to be happy y'know?" Gerard opened up, looking at Frank like he was hurting. Frank knew he was hurting because he was stuck in a stale and aggressive relationship with Eliza. It wasn't healthy and it was starting to show on Gerard.

"Like we all want you to be happy Gee, um honestly," Frank said, moving off of the wall, taking a few steps closer to Gerard, "Plus you're like my best friend. I'm always gonna wanna see you happy."

"I know." Gerard nodded.

Frank didn't speak for a second. He mulled over the thought in his head which had turned into something more than it probably should have been. But Gerard was sad. Frank wanted to make him happy, so the question flowed from him so naturally, "I can make you happy y'know."

"How?" Gerard laughed, "You gonna, like, dump Eliza for me? You gonna deal with that shit storm when it happens for me?"

Frank shook his head at Gerard, bottom lip still pinched between his teeth as the idea in his head was spiralling. This was a good idea. This would put a smile on Gerard's face. This was what Frank wanted to do.

It was right because it was for a purpose. To make Gerard happy. There was nothing wrong with that.

"You know I can make you happy." Frank purred, stepping even closer to Gerard, a small smile forming in the corner of his mouth until Gerard's face screwed up. He looked pissed all over again as he stepped away from the basin.

"But... Like it's not so much about you making me happy, y'know. I should, like, be able to make myself happy. Everyone has a person to make 'em happy. Mikey and Alicia. Ray and Christa. You and Jamia," Gerard groaned out, hands tugging on his hair as he stepped around the toilet, "Everyone has someone. I don't. Jeez, Frank, like, you're gonna be a dad. You had sex with Jamia and you created someone. Like an actual person, y'know. I'm not saying I want to have kids yet. I'm a mess, y'know. I'm not ready to have a baby, but fuck like, you proposed. You have someone who wants to, like marry you. You have someone who wants to be with you. You're in a healthy, happy relationship. I'm just the guy in a bad relationship who like... Fuck, Frank, I'm jealous of you."

"Why are you, um, jealous of me?" Frank asked, looking confused at Gerard.

"You proposed to Jamia. Of course she said yes, yeah?"

"Yeah." Frank nodded.

"So in the, like, heat of the moment and all the excitement of getting engaged, you had sex?" Gerard pushed, questioning the personal details of last night and why the pair never came home.

"Well... Yeah." Frank blushed.

"Like you have a sex life. Like, you have someone who wants to have sex with you, y'know? You have someone who, like, wants to be with you," Gerard sighed, "I'm so jealous of you. You have what I want. I haven't had sex in, like, months. I don't want to be with Eliza. Not like that."

"But you have someone who wants to do that with you." Frank pointed out, hoping Gerard would get what he was saying.

"No I don't," Gerard groaned, "I have a crazy girlfriend who I can't fuckin' stand anymore."

"I wasn't, um, on about Eliza."

"We've done stuff," Gerard continued, ignoring what Frank had just said, "Of course we've, like, done stuff, but I'm guessin' that's going to end because you're startin' a family. I'm so jealous of you. I have no one who-"

"Gerard just shut up." Frank cut in, his voice echoing around the toilet before he moved to be right up close to Gerard. His hands grabbed at his shirt, pulling him as close to Gerard as possible before lips crashed together and Frank was kissing Gerard in the middle of the toilet.

The kiss lasted seconds. Frank was not happy about how brief the kiss was, but Gerard broke it, pulling away to look at Frank with utter shock plastered on his face.

"Wh- What're you doin'?" Gerard stuttered, not fully getting why Frank was kissing him.

"Doin' what we, um, always do," Frank smiled, stepping up to Gerard again, "Y'know I can make you happy. Put a smile back on your face."

"But..." Gerard started, eyes screwing shut as he processed everything, "You're engaged."

"So?" Frank shrugged, "Like I wasn't engaged before. We still messed around."

"But," Gerard stammered, "This is different now."

"How is it, like, different from any other time that we were together?" Frank queried, frowning at Gerard as he thought, what the fuck man? This is what we always do, "I was with Mia when we first had sex. I was still, like, with Mia the last time we had sex. How is anythin' different? It's still me."

"Engaged you with a baby on the way."

"Engaged me still wants you. Like, Istill want to make you happy." Frank carried on. In his head he thought that nothing had to change. They could just keep doing what they had been doing. It had worked for so long that Frank believed that nothing had to change. Yes, he was having to grow up to a degree because very soon he was going to be a father, but Frank was so sure that nothing had to change. Why disrupt and cause problems by changing or stopping something altogether when it worked.

Gerard went to add another point as to why they probably shouldn't be doing anything, but Frank complained about how he talked too much and overcomplicated things. Frank had rolled his eyes before he was pushing Gerard into a toilet cubicle, slamming the door shut, locking it before his lips were back on Gerard's, silencing him before he had a chance to speak.

Frank knew that Gerard had a point with what he was saying. Yes, he was engaged, but in his head, nothing had to change. It worked. It didn't feel wrong. It felt like it always did. Normal. Normal was okay and if Gerard wasn't going to stop Frank as he pressed his chest against Gerard's, kissing him deeply, then he wasn't going to stop at all as he held onto the back of his neck, keeping Gerard in place.

Frank groaned, feeling his knees going weak when Gerard's tongue licked across his bottom lip. His hand moved into Gerard's hair, trying to hold onto the short white strands, holding him in place. Gerard was coming round to the idea of Frank making him happy right now, Frank could tell as Gerard's hands slid down his sides, fingers gripping his hips before everything clicked into place in Frank's mind. This hot mess in his head was all for Gerard, mostly for Gerard, half and half, okay, Frank initially wanted this more than Gerard did, but Frank knew that Gerard wouldn't say no to him or push him away. Frank knew Gerard so well. He knew him better than Eliza ever would, plus, he knew exactly how to make Gerard happy, just like Eliza didn't.

Frank wedged his knee against the wall of the cubicle, right between Gerard's legs and there was the gasp. Gerard took in a sharp breath as Frank pressed up against him, still kissing him like his life depended on it, with his knee in that perfect position where Gerard couldn't help himself. It was like an invitation. Frank did it for a reason and that reason was when Gerard's hips shifted, rolling himself against Frank's leg as a whimper vibrated in Gerard's throat, resonating against their kiss.

Frank broke the kiss for a moment, catching his breath back, but Gerard wasn't having it. His hands ended up in Frank's hair, pulling him back towards him, lips locking messily as Gerard panted, letting Franks name fall from his mouth. All breathy and desperate while he continued to rub himself against Frank's thigh.

Frank could tell that Gerard was at a point of desperation. This point that was so much further passed anything Frank had ever experienced himself. Yes, he had gone without sex before, dry spells come and go, but Frank knew that there was one thing that Eliza didn't do because she claimed it was gross and she was too much of a nice girl to do anything like that. He knew she didn't do it because Gerard had complained about it, saying that he missed it so fucking much. Well, Frank didn't think it was gross, it was something he liked to believe he was awesome at doing, and he wasn't a priss. Frank knew he had Gerard's cock in his mouth before and he actually enjoyed having it in his mouth, unlike some crazy bitch who seriously, Frank didn't want to think about too much right now as he broke their kiss again, licking his bottom lip while he looked down Gerard.

"Shit...Frank," Gerard panted, his cheeks flushed pink, still pushing against Frank to show him just how much he wanted something to happen, even if their place of it happening wasn't chosen well, "There's no room, we can't do anythin' in here."

Frank didn't answer. He didn't even acknowledge that Gerard had spoken to him. He shifted his leg, hearing Gerard gasp at the lack of friction against his jeans, but he had a one track mind right now as it whirred away. It was like white noise filled his mind for a brief second before Frank sunk down. His knees hit the scuffed and dirty tiles on the toilet cubicle floor. He ignored the dull ache in his knees because maybe he shouldn't have dropped down so hard in such a small space, but Frank was insistent that he was going to make Gerard happy right now.

Gerard got it instantly and his hands were on his belt, trying to get the fucker open, which wasn't cooperating with him at all right now, "Fuck...yeah. Haven't had one of these in a long fuckin' time."

"Has she ever given you one?" Frank asked, raising an eyebrow up at Gerard as he watched the way his fingers were fumbling with the buckle on his belt.

"Can we not like, seriously, I don't want to talk or think about her right now," Gerard insisted, pinching his eyes shut before looking down at Frank, "You're down there and I'm just... Like seriously."

"See, I um, like dick. Dick is fun and I like sucking dick," Frank spoke, smiling as he pushed Gerard's hands away from his belt. Frank could get it open. He wanted to get it open right now, which Gerard had been struggling to do. Frank had it open in an instant and was pulling it free from its loops, getting his fingers on the buttons of Gerard's jeans, "She... She doesn't know what she's missin'."

"God sake Frank," Gerard whined, wanting to not think about his crazily insane girlfriend, ex girlfriend, whatever she was. All he knew was that he didn't want her in his head right now as Frank tugged at his jeans, popping the buttons open as quickly as he could, "Just shut up about her."

Frank did shut up as he got Gerard's jeans shoved part way down his thighs. There was no room for full blown sex. Frank wasn't exactly in the mood for sex right now either. He knew what he wanted and he was dead set on getting what he wanted, his want being a mouthful of Gerard right the fuck now. Frank smirked because Gerard had actually put boxers on for once. This ratty old pair that had holes and possibly hadn't been washed in a few days, but Frank didn't care about the state of Gerard boxers. He cared more about what was inside the ratty pair of boxers, tenting out the fabric which had Frank's mouth going dry.

Gerard stuttered out a strangled moan as Frank shifted, pressing his mouth to the fabric, mouth open, letting out hot breaths against his covered erection. Frank knew what he was doing. He was winding Gerard up, making him beg for Frank to hurry the fuck up. But Frank wanted to take his time. This moment right now was making his insides knot up. Maybe Gerard hadn't washed his boxers for a few days, possibly wearing them inside out for a day or so, but Frank loved it as he inhaled, smelling the mix of Gerard and sweat and that grimey scent that had his insides bubbling. Not exactly a turn on for some people, but Frank couldn't get enough of it as he mouthed at Gerard through his boxers, tongue against the fabric as he pushed his mouth right up against him. Gerards hands were instantly in Frank's hair, holding onto him tightly as Frank's fingers gripped onto the worn out elastic on his boxers.

Franks mind whited out, insides burning hot when he tugged down the pointless underwear, shifting them out of the way to let Gerard spring free right in front of him. Frank groaned, eyes widening at the sight of what he wanted.Gerards cock right in front of him, all his right now as Frank shifted closer.

"Missin' out." Frank mumbled fast, not caring too much about explaining his choice of words right now. Words weren't important right now as he wrapped his lips around the tip of Gerard's cock, pushing him in, groaning as he hollowed out his cheeks, sliding Gerard's cock to the back of his mouth.

"Fuck," Gerard choked out, fingers gripping Frank's hair tighter, really holding on for dear life as Frank held him in the back of his mouth, trying to breathe evenly to fight back his gag reflex. But breathing wasn't important to Frank for a moment as his hands gripped Gerard's thighs, fingernails digging into the soft skin before he pulled off, gulping down air, "Holy shit Frank."

Frank didn't pay attention to what Gerard was babbling out. He had a one track mind right now. Speaking and having conversations were pointless right now as Frank wrapped his hand around Gerards cock, pumping him, hand moving quickly thanks to saliva. Gerard didn't want a hand job though. Frank had his mouth and he knew exactly what to do to Gerard with his mouth to get him tipping over the edge.

Gerard pushed into Frank's hand, hoping that Frank would stop what he was doing, get back to the good stuff that he was dying to have right now. Frank smirked, he knew what Gerard was doing, trying to get him to stop with the hand and get on with the mouth. But Frank was enjoying himself, feeling the dull ache that was starting to reside in his own jeans. Frank felt like he could just get off from doing this, blowing Gerard, blowing his mind in a toilet cubicle, putting that smile back on Gerard's face.

Frank looked up to Gerard, shooting him a crooked smile when he stilled his hand. Frank still held Gerard in place, fingers gripping around him ever so slightly to the point Gerard whined, but Gerard was tilting his head back, hitting the toilet cubicle wall without a care about the pain that rung out from the back of his skull. Frank was doing that thing that drove Gerard crazy. The big eyes looking up at him as he sucked on the head, groaning out so it vibrated and sent shockwaves through Gerard.

"Your mouth," Gerard groaned, looking down to see Frank's eyes looking back up at him, his mouth still on Gerard as his tongue flicked over the tip, making him inhale sharply, "God, wanna fuck your mouth."

Frank hummed around the tip, nodding, relaxing as best he could so Gerard could do just that. Frank wanted it, no, needed it right now as the dull ache in his jeans was starting to grow. He wanted this so much right now as Gerard hands moved, holding him in place, keeping him still as he pushed in slowly, mouth going slack as the heat of Frank's mouth enveloped him.

Frank whined as Gerard pushed into his mouth further. He screwed his eyes shut as he tried to shut off his gag reflex as best he could. His eyes started to water and Frank ignored how saliva was starting to drool down his chin. It felt perfect, this used kind of perfect when Frank felt the ache in his jaw. It felt so perfect that Frank's hand snaked down to his own crotch, palming himself through his jeans as he moaned around Gerard, tasting the bitter slick of precum on his tongue.

"Oh god...Frank, your fuckin' mouth," Gerard stuttered, eyes closing as the familiar knot of heat in the pit of his stomach started to tighten. He was so there, so close as he sped up, so ready to just lose it down the back of Frank's throat, "'M gonna cum. Oh god I can feel it. So there. Gonna fuckin'-"

Gerard's words cut off as he heard a low tinkle that sounded like a ring tone. Gerard knew his phone was on silent. It had to be Frank's as the sound grew louder and Frank pushed Gerard's hands off of him, gasping for precious air as he stuffed his hands into his jeans pocket.

"You seriously gonna answer that?" Gerard asked, his voice irritated because he was so there. At the point of losing it and having one of the best orgasms he had had in...god knows how long. Frank had to go and stop. Why did Frank have to go and stop, making Gerard knock the back of his head against the toilet cubicle wall in frustration.

"Have to." Frank insisted, looking at his phone screen.

"But I have to cum."

"The fuck up Gerard," Frank snapped, holding a finger up to his lips, "It's Jamia."

Gerard sighed loudly, shaking his head at Frank as he answered his phone, "Hey... Hey Mia, what's up?"

"I'll tell you what's up." Gerard grumbled, causing Frank to scowl at him, mouthing at him to shut the fuck up, again.

"Mia... Jai, calm down. What's goin' on?" Frank spoke nervously. He looked at Gerard for a split second, worry filling his eyes before he looked down at one of the dirty tiles that was near to where he was kneeling, "Have you spoken to the doctor? Didn't they, like, mention those braxton hicks things... Like are you sure it's not just those?"

Gerard listened but wasn't fully paying attention. His attention was more focussed on the fact he had been at the point of utter bliss and now, well, he was stood in a toilet cubicle with his dick out in the breeze as Frank spoke to his fiancé. It should have been so weird, but Gerard cared more about his need to cum than the fact that Frank was on the phone to Jamia.

"Wh- What?" Frank stuttered out, voice cracking, making Gerard frown at him, "How long for...Like are you serious? Why didn't you say that first!? Okay, okay, I'm comin' to you. I'm on my way."

Frank ended the call instantly, sheer panic taking over his expression before he got himself up off of the toilet cubicle floor.

"What's goin' on?" Gerard asked, watching Frank intently, wondering what the hell was going on while he still had his cock out which was not being sucked anymore.

"I... I don't know. Shit, I need to go." Frank said, hand fumbling fast for the toilet cubicle lock.

"What the fuck?" Gerard snapped, "You can't leave me here like this?"

"Oh shut the fuck up Gerard," Frank shouted, getting the toilet door open, "This is more important. Not everythin' is about you."

And Gerard was left speechless, standing in a toilet cubicle with his mouth hung open in shock as Frank stormed off, out of the toilets and out of the studio to get to Jamia.


	4. 3- Don't You Put Me On the Back Burner

chapter by xotragician_child

 

Chapter 3

5 February 2007

Las Vegas, Nevada

Today was the day.

The day he had been dreading ever since he had found out last year when they were recording Black Parade. The day he had been happy for on the outside, but the day he knew would end up killing some small part of him inside. More than a small part, in fact.

He looked at himself in the mirror, in his black suit, his greasy black hair had been washed, not that it made a difference, and it hung stupidly around his face at a really strange length. It was as though he had tried to recreate Desolation Row hair, which was exactly the same fucking thing, but no. No fucking way would it co-operate on a day like today. He liked his hair that way, it was one of his favourites so far, except for the short, white cut he had had the previous year for The Black Parade, but it was far too much upkeep.

He pulled at the front of his jacket, turning to the side to get a better look. The suit fit nicely at least, he didn't look too fat or frumpy, and it didn't hang off of him like a sack cloth.

He let out a soft sigh and sat down on the hotel bed, hearing it groan and spring lightly, rubbing his temples, pushing every single sad thought aside. Today he wasn't supposed to be sad. He wasn't allowed to be sad.

His best friend in the entire world was getting married, and he, Gerard, was the best man. It was a happy day, a joyous day for everyone attending.

Or it was supposed to be, anyway.

Gerard sat there on the end of the bed and felt betraying tears prick the corners of his eyes and he looked down, shaking slightly.

He sat up, pushing the thoughts away, 2007 wasn't off to a good start for Gerard. Less than a couple months ago he had broken off his engagement to Eliza when they were recording. And even though they were still together, she wouldn't talk to him. He had relied on her to be his date to Frank's wedding, a shoulder to lean on as he watched his best friend give his heart to someone else.

But once again, the world had had other plans where Gerard's love life was concerned.

They had been together for, what was it now, going on four or five years now and fuck. Gerard had loved the psycho bitch for all it was worth.

She had been with the band for so long, she had been there all the time to do his hair and his make-up, hell she had even gotten annoyed with him and his 'tweaky' eyes all the time. She was his little spit fire and fuck it if Gerard wanted to be with her forever.

He stared at the small black box on the small dresser table that had held her engagement ring, the ring he had demanded back after they had ended things on such an uneasy set of circumstances even though she had stole it back after throwing it at him.

Sure, with Gerard being who he was, he could be in denial about the rumours that Eliza was with someone else on the side. Deny that she was just out there as My Chemical Romance's professional makeup artist or hair stylist or whatever the fuck she wanted to do.

And it had been Mikey who had told him, it was his own baby brother who had told him that his fiancé was fucking around with another man.

And this was on top of everything that he and Eliza had gone through. Every single thing that Gerard didn't need to mention or even think of at this point in time. Knowing at some point that it would come up again. Somehow.

As much as he was fucking furious with his brother, he would forever be thankful that Mikey had saved him from marrying a- well- Gerard was never one to slut shame especially when he was known for one night stands. But Eliza was one those things, one of those words he hated saying.

He cringed at the use of the word, wringing his hands as he looked down, pushing the tears back as he thought about Eliza, daring to phone her and ask her if she wanted him back. Offering to pay for her to fly her all the way to Nevada.

Anything to not have to go to this alone.

Sure, Dewees and Ray would be there. And so would a lot of the people they both knew, but it wasn't the same.

And blowed if he knew none of his own friends would be there, no one close enough, no sort of confidant.

Not even Lindsey.

Lindsey was far away now, one of his best friends at the time, was busy with her own problems, her own band.

Not that Frank had invited her in any case.

They weren't exactly chummy enough with Frank consistently throwing her daggers and with her reciprocating with some violent gestures.

And so here he was, alone in his tiny hotel room, the room in a completely different hotel that Frank was staying in. Jamia's orders,

He was staring at a bit of peeling wallpaper above the skirting board as he tried to delay the onset of a rather unpleasant anxiety attack.

He looked down at the faded white scars on his wrist and sniffed before he looked away, ignoring it, thinking back desperately to the small bottle of celebratory bourbon in his suitcase that he vowed never to touch again.

"God damn it." He muttered to himself and stood up.

He had even considered phoning Kat, his girlfriend before Eliza, the girl he hadn't spoken to since 2001 and asking her if she'd accompany him to Frank's wedding.

But no.

It'd look way too suspicious and Frank would catch on and instantaneously feel guilty or angry with Gerard for ruining his big day with whispers and angry sounds of disapproval. Gerard didn't want to ruin his big day at all, on the contrary.

Gerard grabbed his keys and his phone, stuffing them in his pockets when he walked out and down the stairs. He had been offered by Mikey to get dressed and ready at his hotel room but Mikey was staying there, obviously. Even though he couldn't go to the wedding, being incredibly sick, Frank had insisted he would be in the same damn city. But Mikey was at least not alone, having his fiancé Alicia to look after him.

At least Gerard would have Ray and Dewees.

Sort of.

Gerard looked at the ring on his left ring finger and sighed, "I'm glad I got you with me today, Nana, I can't do this without you."

He stared at the tarnished silver engagement ring on his finger, biting on his lip. He only ever wore his grandmother's ring on occasions like this. His Gran loved things like this and he knew that if she were alive she would have been there, whether Frank wanted her or not.

And at least now in some way she was.

And before Gerard knew it, he was in the taxi with himself, alone with his thoughts.

He had managed to drive to the wedding venue without breaking again, he had managed to compose himself in the car, and was even making light conversation with himself like a mad man, ignoring the driver as much as possible. He stood outside the Iero's chosen hotel, where Frank and his family stayed.

Frank had managed to get his divorced parents both here for his wedding, along with the other relatives and cousins and all of that. They, along with Jamia's family, were all being put up at another hotel altogether. With Frank's reasoning being that they'd never leave him alone. So he and Jamia were in one hotel, Gerard in another with Mikey and his fiance and the other guys, and the family all in another.

Vegas would never be the same.

The morning wind blowing his hair to the side, warm and dry like the desert. He walked into the front of the hotel, his eyes widening. There were people walking everywhere, carrying things and setting up, walking in and out of the reception hall on the left. Gerard could see the raised platform where Frank and Jamia would be tying the knot just outside, and he felt his stomach drop into his shoes. He took a hold of his jacket in his hands, wringing it lightly and gave it a squeeze as he walked into the reception room.

"Oh good, you're here." Mrs Iero said suddenly as Gerard stepped in, pushing passed a guy in a smart suit with a clipboard, accosting him, looking more flustered than he had ever seen Linda before.

"Where's he?" Gerard asked and Mrs Iero gestured to a plain white door on the right. Gerard turned and made his way down the hallway, opening the door.

He carried on down the hallway, his eyes scanning door after door, passing one that had a sheet of paper on it that stated "Wife".

He stopped outside of the door marked with the word he didn't want to see just yet, a word he didn't want Frank to be marked as, his heart hammering against his chest. He took in a shaky breath and looked at the door that had scratches in it on the side, a crude pen-carved "Frnk waz here" on the frame.

Gerard chuckled softly.

He knocked lightly before opening the door slowly, to see Frank sitting on the bed by himself, staring at the ground, elbows resting on his knees. Gerard felt his heart stop for a minute when Frank looked up, a sad smile on his lips.

"H- Hey.." Gerard smiled and stepped into the room, closing the door, when Frank suddenly lunged at his best friend, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

Gerard let out a whine and wrapped his arms around Frank, who was trembling, "Gee, I'm terrified..."

"W- Why?"

"I.. I'm, um, getting married.." Frank whispered and looked up at Gerard, who bit his lip.

"Yeah.. But, like, you l-love Jamia."

"She's pregnant Gee... Again." Frank sighed and stepped away to look at himself in the mirror, "What else must I do?"

Gerard frowned, "But you love her."

"Of course I do. We've been together for um... Almost nine years. nine years..." Frank looked at himself in the mirror in his suit and then Gerard, "You look so tired."

"Yeah. Tired." Gerard lied to himself.

"I know. I know." Frank sighed softly, "I- I didn't plan for this, okay. I mean. I was happy with her. I always have been, she's Jamia. She's my love, she's beautiful. And- And you know that I- I mean- You... We..." he stopped himself, squeezing his eyes shut and Gerard knew what he was trying to say.

"I love you too, Frank.." he whispered softly and Frank opened one eye, looking at Gerard by the door, hazel shining with tears.

"But. I have to do this." Frank nodded, "And besides, um, you- you'll find someone."

"I guess."

"And. I mean. We can't... Do anythin' anymore but um... Last- Last night was a one time, the last time... I mean, we can still do the whole, like, um, stage thing, right?"

"Stage thing?" Gerard tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah..." Frank whispered, "I mean the, like- Yeah no the whole time with My Chem, we almost fucked each other on stage a few times and um, and I've been with Jamia the whole time. She didn't know about anythin', like, that was um, that was off stage, and she didn't mind anythin' on stage. I know Eliza didn't mind too much so um... And I mean now, like um, it isn't a problem for you. So why not keep it on stage... It's.. All we have.."

"Right." Gerard whispered softly and looked down, when he saw Frank's feet step into view, and he looked up just as Frank cupped his cheeks, leaning up on his toes, their lips in a tender kiss. Gerard let out a shaky breath and held onto Frank with everything he had, but Frank pulled away, breathless.

"No. I can't. It's not right."

"Of course not." Gerard muttered more to himself than anything, pushing back the tears.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Frank asked, fixing the lily to his lapel and turning, fixing the lily to Gerard's own jacket, looking up.

"I-"

They were cut off as the door opened, with Dewees poking his head in, "Oh hey, man."

"Hey, Jim." Gee whispered, smiling softly, "What's up?"

"Frank, your mom is lookin' for you." Dewees looked at Frank.

Frank let out a groan and looked at Gerard, who gestured to the door, before Frank slipped out without another fleeting glance. Gerard looked at James and looked away, ignoring him, unable to open his mouth, afraid of what would slip out.

He was going to be okay.

He was going to do this.

And he was going to be happy.

Because Frank was happy.

Right?

Frank was going to be a dad, and that was more important than some love affair between two hormonal teenagers that had spun out of control.

Gerard looked out of the window at the windy day and turned, walking out of the room and into the hallway, standing there aimlessly.

"Gerard?"

Gerard turned to see Jamia poking out of the room beside him and he jumped, smiling slightly.

"Hi."

"Can I talk to you?"

"O- Of course, jelly bean." He smiled and walked over, walking into the bedroom as she turned to look at him, closing the door.

"You look tired." She said simply.

"That's the, um, general consensus." Gerard admitted and sat down on the ottoman beside the dresser that had been put in for the blossoming bride.

"Gerard look, I- I'm so happy you're here today. Here for us- for him."

"Why wouldn't I be, like, he's my best friend." Gerard said, his stomach roiling.

"You know what I mean. I know that, I mean I understand that you both..." she frowned, her hands clasped, "Frank and I- we... We've been together for so long now, since senior year of high school."

"I know, Mia, I know." Gerard said simply.

"And I know about you two, don't get me wrong. I'm not stupid. He loves you, he's told me. We don't hide things from each other. I know how he feels about you, I know what you've both done. Even when we broke up for that year or so, when we got back together he told me everything."

Gerard blanched as though he had been slapped in the face and he looked down at the beige carpet, "Oh."

"Look I never have had anything against it, I know what it's like, I can- I try and understand it and I'm never going to take it away from you both because I love and trust him. But- But we're having a baby. He's going to be a father. For real this time. I know last time was- I mean. Well, we broke off the wedding last year because of the miscarriage but this time it's different, okay. And we're getting married. For real."

Gerard felt the tears brimming in his eyes and he daren't look up at her, his stomach wanting to heave.

"Just- Please don't make this any harder on him, I know he loves me. But I know he loves you too."

"Mia..." Gerard started but she continued her tangent.

"I don't care what happens between you two, and we both know Frank's problem and if you help him then, like I know he's never really going to stop. he has a problem... Especially since it's just me involved now that Eliza is gone." She stepped forward, stopping in front of Gerard and he looked up at her glowing face, "Just don't take him away from me."

And that was it, that was when Gerard finally caved, the one moment that tipped him off of his façade and he cried, the flood of tears poured from his eyes and he let out a small sob, clutching on to Jamia's dress, his face against her growing stomach as he sobbed softly. Her small hands caressing his hair as she cried too, her body shaking softly.

His tear-streamed face pressed against her dress, an inch or so separating his cheek from the very being inside of Jamia that was taking Frank from him. The tiny, innocent being that had done nothing had ruined everything.

The second one.

 

The first baby had barely been more than an infinitesimal speck that never had the chance to live but now. Now this baby was in the way, even if it wasn't at the same time. Gerard couldn't wrap his head around the first miscarriage. It had happened so fast.

One minute Frank was announcing his proposal and his baby and the next he was running off, leaving Gerard to go and help his wife to the hospital hemorrhaging and sobbing.

And Frank was never the same.

"I'm sorry." He whispered hoarsely after a few moments of aching silence and he looked up, wiping his sleeve on the front of her dress, frowning, "I- I didn't..."

"It's okay." She muttered, "I'm just glad I haven't had my makeup done."

Gerard found himself chuckling as he looked up at her, at one of his best friends for so long, "I'm glad, like, it's you, Mia. I'm glad he's marryin' you and not some groupie whore, y'know.."

"Me too." She giggled and sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers, turning it over and drawing in his palm, "Just put on a brave face okay, there's a lot of people out there. Cameras too. It's supposed to be private but someone somewhere will make sure your fans see us getting married."

Gerard rolled his eyes at that with a smile, "They always find out, don't they."

"Oh shush, they're precious."

Gerard smirked at that, "I suppose so, I just, like... I'm happy for you."

"I know you are, Gerard."

"Do you?"

"You wouldn't be here if you weren't, even if it was only a tiny fraction."

"Good." Gerard sighed shakily.

"Go and find him before he has a mental breakdown, please. There's only so much tact in James Dewees." She said and Gerard chuckled and stood up, stretching slightly when he turned to look at her, leaning down to wipe her eyes with his thumbs.

"You look beautiful." He reassured.

"So do you."


	5. 4- Vegas Lights Shine Bright but Love is Blind

chapter by deerperkyset

 

Chapter 4

4 February 2007

The night before

Frank knew where he should have been, but did that mean that he was actually doing what he was supposed to do?

Of course not. Did that make him like some sort of rebel without a cause? Maybe more a rebel without a clue, but he did have some sort of a clue about what he was doing right now.

Maybe it was a lack of control, maybe it was just a fact that his mind was wired that way. But it wasn't exactly like it was something he was thinking about right now. There was very little thought process going into what he was doing right now.

Whatever it was, it had to be better than what he had just been a part of and what he had done minutes before he jumped into the cab.

The guys had set him up this bachelor party. Frank said that he didn't want to do anything big or fancy. He wanted it to be just him and the guys, beers, hell, they were in Vegas so maybe even go to a casino or just play poker in the hotel as they sat around a table, slowly getting drunk.

Well, James had already been on his way to being drunk a little when they all met up. God knows why, Frank felt like he should have been the one who had had the first beer of the day thanks to what was happening tomorrow. But he had changed that. Frank knew he shouldn't have done, but he had ended up putting away more beer than intended. Shots, hell, at one point he had forgotten who's drink he was drinking, getting shoved and having the beer snatched out of his hands because he had picked someone else's beer up off of the bar.

It was safe to say that Frank was drunk. More than drunk as his body felt like liquid, making him think that he had become one with the beer. It didn't make sense. Though it did in his head all at the same time. Confusion and clarity all rolled into one big mess, and this had lead him to what he was doing.

Frank had wanted just a quiet evening, but as Ray, Evan, James and his cousins bundled him into a cab outside of their hotel, he soon discovered that the quiet night he wanted wasn't going to happen.

No, they had all decided to chip in and get him a stripper. Frank had said no to James the first time he mentioned that Frank needed to have a stripper at his bachelor party. The idea of a stripper had seemed like Frank's worst nightmare. But James had carried on, saying that no bachelor party was complete without a stripper. James had been persistent about it, ignoring Franks no's before it was too late and their cabs were pulling up in front of a strip club.

Frank wanted to be pissed at James because he had said no and it was so apparent now that he hadn't listened, but he couldn't just be mad at James because everyone else had chipped in for Frank to get this damn stripper that he didn't really want. Yeah, naked ladies were great but Frank really wasn't feeling this at all. His mind was whirring away, going into a darker overdrive that he didn't want to think about. He had to push it right down, deep down into him because there was apparently no getting out of this, as James as said whilst he had a hand on Frank's back, pushing him to their destination.

He couldn't exactly put his finger on why he was like this. He assumed that he was like this because technically, or as Ray had jokingly put it earlier, this was his last night of freedom. As of tomorrow he was going to be married. Actually married to Jamia.

He didn't want to consider the real reason. That seemed too complicated. Too dark. Too...he didn't know, but it was something he didn't want to dive into. Frank felt like if he did, he would drown in his own thoughts. He just wanted to believe that maybe Ray was right. Maybe it was just because this was his last night of freedom. That seemed simple enough. Easier to process than digging into his own head.

Frank hadn't been the kind of person to think that marriage was never going to happen for him. He had always had it in the back of his mind that at some point he would want to settle down and get married, but there was still something niggling in the back of his mind. That same niggle that was making his insides twist and his mind race as he was lead into this strip club.

The music had been too loud as Frank had a beer pushed into his hand. That niggle was still in the back of his head as James told the bar person that they had booked one of the champagne rooms at the back of the club for the bachelor party. The niggle was irritating, like Frank had an itch inside his skull that he just couldn't scratch, but still, he put on a brave face, smiling even though he hadn't exactly wanted some stranger to take off her clothes for him. The guys had done this for him, he couldn't exactly sulk or complain about it now. There was no getting out of it apparently. This was happening, even if he didn't want it to be.

She had been pretty. This woman in barely there underwear and body glitter had come out, all pretty with her over the top makeup and bright red cropped hair. She had been guided to Frank and seriously, yeah, Frank knew she was pretty, that was a given. But Frank wasn't exactly the kind of guy that relied on looks when it came to attraction. Not that he was suggesting that he wasn't attracted to the stripper, no, that was definitely not where he was going as the stripper shook her hips in front of him before straddling his lap.

It was just...Frank couldn't describe it. His mind was a mystery, even to himself. He didn't quite understand why his head was doing this to him. He loved Jamia. That was a given because he was marrying her tomorrow. But when a nearly naked woman was sat on his lap, looking at him with big hazel eyes, he could feel his fists clenching as he held onto the seat. His jaw clenched as he tried to keep a grasp onto reality, even if his mind wasn't having any of it.

These images, flickering images like pornography were filling his mind, making him think that the world was teetering on the edge of a knife. Reality was the knife and if he fell, would reality blur with what was in his head. These sordid images of having sex with the pretty redhead who was dancing for him?

But Frank knew he had to keep control. That was the thing. Control was what he had to do. There was no way in hell that what was in his mind would ever happen. He was getting married, of course it couldn't happen. Yeah, there was the whole what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but Frank had to dig himself from out of his own head. He could feel himself drowning. He had to keep his head above water as he tried to stay focussed on reality.

"Hi..." Frank said shakily as the stripper took hold of his shoulder. His gut reaction to the situation right now was somehow how he had the need to strike up a normal conversation with the woman who was giving him a lap dance. This had to see normal to him. If it felt normal thanks to conversation then he still had control. The striper wasn't in control. His mind wouldn't be in control. He could get through this.

The stripper smiled at him, shaking her hips on his lap before she pushed her chest closer to his face. His head instinctively craned back a little because he found this whole situation awkward. He was out of his comfort zone, alarm bells were screaming in his head and his mind raced fast as the stripper in the barely there black bra and thong arched her back, doing all these supposedly sexy moves for him.

They were sexy. They had Frank's mouth going dry and his knuckles turning white as he held onto the chair he was sat on. He had to remain in control though. His mind couldn't win. As much as he wanted the world to white out and his mind to black out as he did what his thoughts were making him crave, he knew he couldn't. No, this was not what he was supposed to do tonight.

This wasn't his thing. He was out of his depth. Yes, women were great. Frank loved women. They were sexy and beautiful. Frank would never deny that. But having this woman dance for him just because tomorrow he was getting married, nope. This was not going well for him in his head. It was like a sordid nightmare that was very real.

"So...uh...what's your, um, name?" Frank asked nervously, ignoring the laughter he could hear from behind him.

"Trust him to try and strike up a conversation with her."

Frank didn't know who had made that comment. It sounded like James, but Frank was trying to just get through this moment in time right now. Not worry about who was joking about his coping mechanism.

"Candy." The stripper purred in his ear, smiling her lipstick smile at him.

"So is that like, a stage name or um...is that your actual name?" Frank stuttered, trying not to focus on the awkwardness that was radiating from him right now. Though the awkwardness was better than anything right now. It had to be better than his head, "Like, do you have a surname or?"

"It's Came." The stripper told him. Her voice sounded a little like a sigh. Was she frustrated because he was being awkward, trying to make this situation seem even the tiniest bit normal with his conversation.

She wouldn't understand. Or maybe she would, but probably slap him across the cheek before calling him a pervert because of her understanding.

This was not normal. This was so far from normal for Frank that he was just blocking out the jibes and laughter he could hear from his friends and cousins who were watching the stripper dance for him, laughing over their beers.

"Oh, Candy Cane," Frank nodded, pulling in a shaky breath as he watched her slide off of his lap. Thank god, Frank thought. He had her out of his personal space so some of his awkwardness seemed to dissipate and his mind slowed ever so slightly. But it was still racing. There was no stopping it right now, like a runaway train, or a fairground ride that he desperately wanted to get off of, but couldn't. This was going to keep going whether he wanted it to or not. Awkward conversations were going to have to keep him from losing his mind, "That's uh...that's a nice name."

The stripper chuckled, shaking her head at him. Her cropped bright red hair bounced a little as she shook her head at him, "No sweetie...I said Came, like an orgasm?"

"Oh," Frank nodded, not fully taking in what the stripper had said. He was a little more focussed on the fact that her hands were reaching around her back like, what is she doing there, Frank thought. Like it wasn't obvious enough before the barely there bra loosened around her and she slipped it off. That was when Frank got it. It hit him, at the same time he saw what she had done, "Oh!"

Candy Cane had seemed like such a sweet and almost innocent name to have, even if it was a stage name. But innocence had totally gone out of the window once Frank realised he had misheard her. Innocence wasn't even a word to any of them right now. Frank should have known that there was no such thing as innocence at a bachelor party.

Especially a bachelor party in Vegas.

No matter what, even if Frank was trying to keep a firm grip on innocence right now,it was slipping through his fingers like sand. His grasp was weakening. Innocence was gone as Frank's brain pretty much flatlined. His stomach dropped and that silly little I word was long forgotten.

Innocence? What innocence? It was a dead word, that was all Frank knew as he shifted in the chair he sat in, wishing he could excuse himself. Just get up and fuck off, screw his eyes shut tight so he could forget about what he had just witnessed. Ignore his thoughts, ignore the burn in the pit of his stomach, ignore everything and just pretend that this had never happened.

Frank wanted out of this situation. His head was starting to spin faster and it wasn't because of the beer. He hadn't drunk enough beer. He wished he had drunk more beer, especially when the stripper stood with her legs either side of his, gyrating her hips at him, dancing for him, making the other guys cheer.

Frank did not cheer. After it was over, he was out of the champagne room quickly, heading straight for the bar.

God he needed a beer after that. No means no, Frank knew that. It was just apparent that his friends and cousins didn't know the meaning of the word no when it came to Frank telling them not to get him a stripper while they were in Vegas.

Frank wasn't even so sure about why no was just a definite answer, but he was sticking to it, that he was most definitely sure of.

And his awkward conversation starters hadn't alleviated the moment. It had possibly made it worse. Could it have gotten any worse?

Probably. Especially since Frank had spotted the small almost invisible scar above her thong which really had not stayed on for long enough. Frank had been curious about the scar, wondering if it was from an operation or from a caesarean. The question so do you have any kids played on Franks mind as he really didn't pay attention, ignoring his own imagination, wanting the lap dance to be over as soon as possible.

But the little scar had stuck in his mind and was still there as Frank ordered himself a beer, sticking it on the tab Evan had started when they got there. That little scar had Frank sighing, taking a long drink on his beer as his mind sauntered away from where he actually was right now.

A break from my thoughts, thank god, Frank thought as he swallowed his mouthful of beer. It stung the back of his throat, but it was a distraction. The burn pulled him out of his mind for a mere moment as he sighed, wishing that he was anywhere else but here right now.

The near invisible scar he saw left an imprint on his mind, keeping him grounded to reality. The stripper had obviously had children. It reminded Frank of what he had. What he was going to have this time tomorrow. A beautiful wife who was carrying his child. What more could he ask for?

He wanted to smile and be happy about the fact that he would be married this time tomorrow, but his happy thoughts were clouded. They had been down this road before. The old road had been much shorter, not even getting close to the actual wedding. The dream had come crashing down all too quickly. This perfect little world Frank was beginning to build up, preparing, it didn't matter then. It was gone in a flash of red and pain and tears and hospital wards. It was awful, heartbreaking and fuck, Frank barely remembered what exactly had happened. The doctor had explained, but Frank didn't want to listen. He wasn't in a fit state to listen to someone who was telling him what he pretty much already knew.

He didn't want the details. He knew enough already as he held Jamia's hand through the talk, crying quietly.

This time had to be different. They had made it to now. Jamia had passed the point when the first and last miscarriage had happened. Nearly two weeks past it. This had to be a good sign. Yes, the doctor had said that she had a tilted uterus which meant she was at a higher risk of miscarrying, but this time had to be different. Everything was going so well. Nothing could go wrong now?

Right?

Frank tried to be positive as he took another swig on his beer, gulping down a few mouthfuls before he set the bottle down on the bar.

It just had to be different this time. It couldn't be the same as the first time. Frank knew he wouldn't be able to cope if it happened again.

No, it won't happen again, Frank thought as he quickly picked his beer back up, finishing the bottle in record time. Positive thoughts. He was going to be a husband. Be a dad. It was different this time round.

Frank ordered himself another beer, putting it on Evans tab along with a shot of Jager because why not? Frank didn't want to be here. If he was going to be put through this god awful bachelor party then he was going to do it in style. Even if that style was smashed.

Frank downed the shot swiftly, wincing as he swallowed. His eyes stayed screwed shut for a second as the sting of it on his tongue and in his throat took his breath away. But it was worth it with what he wanted to do. Plus the taste was washed away when Frank pushed the open bottle of beer to his lips, letting his mouth fill before he swallowed. He opened his eyes, blinking a couple of times as the pink lights behind the bar went fuzzy.

Were they fuzzy because he'd screwed his eyes shut or were they fuzzy because the alcohol was starting to kick in? He didn't know, but he hoped it was the beer right now. Or the Jager. It had to be the Jager, if it wasn't then Frank was being an idiot as he signalled to the barman, asking for a refill

And several more refills of his shot glass after that.

He didn't care. Evan was the one paying for this.

Frank may or may not have lost count eventually. The beer in his hand was practically empty. There was maybe a tiny mouthful left, but he had definitely had more than enough. Maybe not beer, but definitely enough Jager as he held the empty shot glass between his thumb and forefinger, looking at it intently as he propped himself up against the bar, holding himself up. It looked pretty with all the fuzzy pink lights glinting off of the glass. He played with it between his fingers, looking at it so intently like it was some rare diamond, but really, it was just a sign that maybe the barman had told Frank that he had had enough shots. He was done with shots when Frank ended up slipping his elbow off of the bar about five minutes before, spilling half of his last shot on his trainer.

But that didn't matter. The sticky shoe wasn't a major factor now. Nothing really was to be perfectly honest as Frank set the small glass down on the bar, his mind feeling like it was full of soggy cotton wool. Frank kind of knew that he had had enough, even if he was tempted to drink more. But he couldn't, he had been cut off.

Unless he went back into the champagne room, and that wasn't really an option he wanted to follow through with because then that meant having to face the guys and the guys had been the ones who had got him the stripper even though he had specifically told them no.

Frank scowled, not understanding why they hadn't listened to him. He just wanted a quiet night. Play cards, drink beer, have a laugh.

There had been laughter, but not from him. There had been beer, that he had definitely drunk enough of now. Cards, nope. He was in Vegas and not even playing poker.

Frank huffed, wondering how in the world he was in Vegas and doing nothing that people did in Vegas. He just wanted to play poker. His mind suddenly became fixated on how he was going to be going home soon, with a wife and a baby on the way, but he hadn't played poker in Vegas. Somehow that pissed him off in his soggy mind. It was his bachelor party and he wasn't doing anything that he wanted to do. He was doing what the guys had wanted him to do and that just wasn't fair in his head. Yeah, Frank felt a little like a spoilt child not getting what he wanted. A drunk spoilt child at that, but at least he was doing this in style, just like he intended to as he wrapped his hand around his beer, ready to finish it.

Frank considered just going back to his hotel room. Passing out and leaving the guys to enjoy what they were up to. His mind had calmed down now, thoughts woozy thanks to the alcohol, but still, he didn't want to be here. He would rather be anywhere else in the world right now.

There was one place he thought about going to as he brought his beer up to his lips. It probably wasn't a good idea, but it seemed like a more fun option than staying here where the women were either in very little clothes or no clothes in private rooms, dancing to music that was too bassy and too loud and just too terrible.

Frank went to take a sip on his beer, frowning because he swore he had hardly any left. He shocked himself because the bottle was nearly full. Had it magically regenerated? Had he drunk less than he originally thought he had? He didn't know as he gulped down a mouthful, but he soon felt a hand shoving on his shoulder, nearly knocking him off of his feet before his free hand gripped at the bar, keeping himself stabilised.

"That's my fucking beer you're drinking." Some guy snapped, towering over Frank. This big lug of a man scowled at him, snatching the beer out of his hand.

"Nuh-uh," Frank slurred, feeling confident enough to argue with this guy who really could easily take him down in an instant. Frank puffed himself up and out, standing up as straight as he could as words formed slowly in his head, "That's my beer."

"You wanna fuckin' start?" The guy questioned aggressively, pushing Frank backwards. He stumbled, so sure that he was going to fall flat on his ass until he felt hands on his shoulders.

Was this it? Frank thought that he was going to get pummeled in a strip club in Vegas. This was going to be his end. He would be found on the floor by the bar with a black eye and a bloody nose because someone claimed that he was drinking their beer. But the hands on his shoulders didn't drag him to the floor. They stabilised him and kept him upright as Frank bounced back up, so sure of his unsteady feet right now.

"Hey..." The voice sounded familiar. Clouded and muffled in his head, but Frank still looked round to see James behind him, standing ground with him, "What's goin' on here?"

"Yeah no, he's got my beer." Frank pouted, not realising his actual beer was behind him because he had been too drunk to notice it.

"Shit face here took my beer." The lug of a man corrected Frank, taking a long drink on the bottle Frank had claimed was his.

"Shit face?" Frank scowled, his thoughts contorting and changing, bubbling with hurt and anger because this big guy had offended him with the insult, "I oughta fuckin'-"

James gripped at Frank's shoulders, holding him back when Frank went to lunge at the ass wipe who had insulted him.

"Hey, hey Frank," James called out, holding back Frank because this really was stupid and James had to stop this or Frank was probably going to end up in hospital on the eve of his wedding and probably getting everyone else kicked out of the club, "Calm the fuck down, okay?"

Frank thought, actually thought about it for a second before he relaxed in James grip. He scowled at the man who was laughing at him, making him pissed off as he backed away a few steps.

"He took my fuckin' beer." Frank grumbled, knowing that it wasn't exactly a big deal. It was a little bit of a big deal because the bar had cut him off, but still, he had had his beer taken from him as he turned to look at James.

"Are you sure?" James asked, seeing the bottle of beer on the bar that no one had touched and no one was drinking, "This could be yours."

Frank frowned, watching James pick up the beer and hand it to him. Frank gave it a swirl in his hand and sure enough, the bottle was nearly empty like he thought it originally was. His beer had been sat next to him the whole time. But Frank wasn't going to say that he was wrong. He was too much of a stubborn drunk to admit that he had made a mistake as he downed the last little bit of his warm and flat beer.

"Maybe..." Frank mumbled, setting his beer down on the bar, setting the empty bottle down gingerly like he thought it would accidentally smash if he put it down like a normal person would. He smiled sloppily at James because James had thankfully been here at the right time and stopped Frank from possibly getting the life punched out of him in a Vegas strip club, "But dude...you fuckin' saved me man."

"Not gonna let some dick treat you like shit at your bachelor party." James nodded, his hands were on Franks shoulders, holding him stable because Frank really wasn't very stable right now.

"You saved my life." Frank sighed, eyes screwing shut because right now he was drunk. Very alive also. He hadn't been beaten up for drinking a beer which he thought was his, but was actually some big thugs beer. The thug who could easily have snapped Frank in half like a twig.

"I wouldn't go that far-"

"But I was about to take on a guy who...did you see him? The guy? He was so tall. Easily nine foot." Frank slurred, holding his hand out to grip James so the club would hopefully stop spinning around him.

"Sure..." James nodded, agreeing with Frank on the height of the man just because it was easier while he smiled weakly at Frank.

"I love you man." Frank exhaled, his voice all breathy as he admitted how he felt. Drunk Frank feeling very loving and affectionate right now because James had been his hero. James had saved the day.

"Love you too buddy."

"No..." Frank whined, dropping his head down whilst he sounded like a child whose parents hadn't understood what he was trying to say, "I fuckin' love you man. Saved my fuckin' life."

And Frank knew what he was doing as his whole body swayed forward. His hand was still gripping onto James shoulder, stopping him from falling flat on his face as he leant forward. As Drunk Frank was also very affectionate Frank, he thought what he was doing right now was totally acceptable as he pursed his lips, puckering up as he moved towards James.

James realised what Frank was doing and immediately stopped him, holding onto him and trying to hold him as still as possible. Frank had gone to kiss him and as much as James loved Frank, being best friends and all, James did not want to be the one who had ended up making out with Frank at his bachelor party.

"Whoa buddy," James chuckled, trying to make light of the situation as Frank frowned at him, "I love you too man, but maybe you should save your kisses for Jamia. Okay?"

Frank nodded, looking like he was mixed between being confused and hurt, but he didn't look like James had just done the worst thing ever possible to him. He just bounced back from it as his fingers found the side of the bar he was right by, gripping onto it tightly while he nodded, "Okay. You're right. S- So, um, right James. Clever man."

"How much have you drunk?" James chuckled dryly, watching Frank attempting to keep himself upright.

"Dunno," Frank shrugged, smiling crookedly at James for a second, "Not enough?"

"Drinkin' by yourself," James shook his head at Frank, "At your bachelor party as well. You wanna come back in the champagne room? We actually have champagne and Candy's still there."

"Fuck no." Frank slurred, shaking his head at the idea of the stripper still being there. Frank didn't need the temptation after he had overcome it. She was tempting. Frank knew exactly what he was like when he had no control and right now, and with the inebriated state he was in, he had no control over his mind and his twisting thoughts and just...everything about him that screamed yes when he just wanted to keep saying no until he lost his voice.

"Aw come on Frank," James pleaded, "You're missing out. Evan just tipped the waiter rather generously and basically, in about twenty minutes there will be some coke goin' round."

"Shit," Frank screwed his eyes shut, rubbing his face to try and snap himself out of his clogged up funk in his head. No was no. Frank knew this and really, he didn't want to be snorting a shit load of coke up his nose, rubbing his gums to laugh when they went numb, no, just no. No. No. No. Frank was adamant in his head that cocaine right now was a really really bad idea, "I'm not a part of that. No. I'm out James."

"But we're chippin' in to get you some," James carried on as Frank pushed himself away from the bar, feeling an ache in him that meant only one thing. He had drunk more than his bladder could hold, "You don't have to pay. Think of it as, like, an extra bachelor party present. Stripper and coke. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

"Fuck...no," Frank said again, "I'm out, no."

"Spoilsport," James grumbled, "You comin' back to the champagne room though? The guys were wonderin' where you went."

"'I'll be back," Frank spoke, knowing that his one track mind right now had only one thought going through it, "I, um, need a piss."

And Frank was gone, hearing James saying something along the lines of don't let me find you in the toilets throwing up because I ain't cleaning that shit up. Frank didn't respond as he tried his best to put one foot in front of the other in a normal fashion. Walking when drunk was not fun. Frank felt like it was so obvious that he was trying to walk as normally as possible. He didn't want people thinking that he was stumbling to the toilets, or flouncing, or whatever walk was considered stupid when he was drunk. He just wanted to make it to the toilet in one piece. No accidents and definitely no accidents that meant he was left with a dark, soggy patch on his jeans because he fell over his own stupid, drunk feet because he lost bladder control.

No, Frank wasn't that drunk, but he didn't want to take any risks as his hand reached out for the wall, feeling stable comfort as he extended his fingers, palm flat against the wall as he stabilised himself towards the toilet.

The goal was in sight. Frank couldn't fucking wait to finally go to the toilet because he had put away more alcohol than his body could handle in a short amount of time. Bladder protesting and ready to explode as the men's toilet door was in sight.

Franks hand was so close to the toilet door now, but apparently luck was not on his side as the toilet door opened. Some guy walked out, clutching a beer in one hand, stumbling a little like Frank had been and he wasn't looking where he was going. Or maybe Frank wasn't quick or nimble enough on his feet right now as the guy walked into him, hand holding the beer was pushed right against the middle of Frank's chest, causing the glass to tilt and spill down his shirt.

Frank gasped at the wet feeling that was soaking through his shirt and down his chest. It wasn't even cold. The beer felt warm and it was most probably a drink that had been sipped on for a while, but that wasn't the point. The point was that the guy hadn't been looking where he was going. Or maybe Frank hadn't been looking where he was going, but he wasn't going to think that he had made another mistake tonight. It was the guy's fault. The guy who mumbled out a watch it as Frank fell back against the wall, tugging the damp part of his shirt away from his chest. He looked down, looking at the dark sticky stain on his shirt, hissing and getting more pissed off.

"Fuck this shit." Frank said, pissed off and so fucking done right now as he tilted his head back, knocking it against the wall while he tried to remain calm. Deep breathes. Drunk Frank could easily turn into flip out Frank and he knew he couldn't do that, unless he wanted a door man to come and grab him from behind, drag him out of the strip club before dumping his ass on the strip, leaving him without his friends and nowhere to go except his own hotel.

But Frank was so done. Need for the toilet forgotten about for a moment as he collected himself together. This was the breaking point. This was the part of the evening where Frank didn't care that everyone else at his bachelor party was having fun with Candy whilst sipping on champagne in a room that was named after the drink. No, Frank really didn't give a shit as he turned on his feet, walking away from the toilets, walking past the bar before he had his hands on the front door of the club, pushing them open.

Cold night air hit Frank's face like a sledgehammer. He inhaled sharply, feeling his lungs jump at the shock of the cold air because he had just been in a very hot club. His nostrils relaxed as he couldn't smell sweat or alcohol or anything from the club as he stepped out onto the strip. All he could smell was the night air laced with car fumes. That was a scent he was happy to sniff on as he stumbled forward, remembering that he still had a need that needed to be relieved. There had to be somewhere he could go nearby. Like a public toilet. Hopefully one that wouldn't charge him a ridiculous amount just so he could go and do a natural bodily function. Paying to go for a piss pissed Frank off even more as he stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets, stumbling a little as his trainers stuck and skidded on the strip because drunk Frank couldn't pick his feet up properly as he walked. Drunk Frank had now lost his inhibitions about looking like an idiot as he walked. Everyone looks like an idiot when they walk drunk, Frank thought. It was one of the natural processes of being drunk.

Franks need was back with vengeance as he walked outside. He didn't have so many distractions like he did in the club. All he could focus on right now was the ache in his bladder as he desperately looked for somewhere he could go. Anywhere off of the strip would have been perfect. It was just finding somewhere that was proving to be tricky as Frank scowled, wondering why in the hell he just didn't go inside the club after the guy had accidentally spilt his beer down Frank shirt.

And then there was an alleyway. Frank sighed happily, so thankful that there wasn't any proper lighting down the alleyway as he stumbled down it. He avoided stepping in some dodgy puddle that had a oil slick sheen to it. He stumbled a little, his footing off kilter in the near dark glow down the alley. But his hand reached out for a skip. He was anchored down, knowing that he wasn't going to fall over as he pulled himself along the skip. He followed the corner round and fuck, Frank felt like he had hit the jackpot of spots where he could relieve himself right now.

He was kind of in a shadow. It wasn't too dark as he looked down at his trainers, making a mental note about not pissing on them as he undid the fly on his jeans. But Frank didn't entirely care about the amount of light that surrounded him as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, his hand was fumbling at his crotch, adjusting and pulling out so he could finally go.

Frank groaned as it finally started. Not that he had performance problems when it came to urinating. He could happily go in between two guys at a urinal, but it was just that it was, finally. He could finally go as he tilted his head back, shuddering a little before he rolled his head, looking down, looking at the ground where he was going.

He was by a skip so the things that were scattered on the floor weren't exactly exciting. There was some broken glass. Cardboard that had been flattened was damp and fused to the alleyway floor. Random food wrappers were dotted around, and then Frank's eyes focussed on one particular wrapper.

A chocolate bar wrapper.

Frank smirked to himself as he eyed the crumpled torn piece of plastic on the ground. He didn't know why the smirk left him as he looked at the dirty, empty wrapper on the ground. It just, it seemed like such an odd place to find a food wrapper. Yeah, he was by a skip full of rubbish, but why a food wrapper? Had someone just dropped it and it had gotten blown down the alley? Had someone eaten it in the alley, the dirty alley that Frank was currently pissing in. Had someone really stooped low enough to eat the chocolate in the dark alley before discarding the wrapper on the floor, leaving it to forget about it as they left their litter on the ground. Frank didn't know. All he knew now was that because he had been looking at the chocolate wrapper for so long, as he finished, tucking himself back into his jeans, he really wanted chocolate right now.

But something else caught his eye. As Frank pushed away from where he had just relieved himself, he saw it, meaning that his thoughts took a massive turn down a different route. He screwed his nose up at the sight of it, wondering why oh why he had to go and spot the discarded item on the ground. But nevertheless, he saw it. He saw the used condom on the ground.

Frank felt a little grossed out by the sight of it, seeing the crumpled condom that was most definitely used. He could see that it had been used and to be perfectly honest, Frank wondered if someone had actually used it here, in the alleyway, or it had just fallen from a trash bag, finding a new home on the alleyway floor for people to see and question why in the hell it was there.

Frank could just picture it. Maybe it was a total heat of the moment incident if someone had ended up having sex right where he had pissed. Maybe whoever had ended up putting the condom on couldn't wait to get back to their place or a hotel room. Here would have to do as the condom was pulled out of a wallet or a pocket and slid on.

Frank really was about to question why in the hell someone would end up having sex in an alleyway. What with lack of cleanliness and the fact that there was rubbish scattered everywhere.

But then Frank realised how much of a hypocrite he was for what he was thinking. How disgusted he was by the idea of sex in an alleyway. The memory was there, imbedded under the soggy, drunk thoughts, flickering like a projected film in his skull as he looked down at the used latex on the ground.

And the thought passed through Frank's mind, just like the person he shouldn't have entirely been thinking about on his bachelor party. The person who wasn't here, but was totally in Frank's mind right now.


	6. 5- How Easy it is to Fall Back into the Darkness

 

chapter by xotragician_child

Chapter 5

Gerard sat in his hotel room, the entire expanse bathed in an orange from the sun setting. He knew soon enough Frank and the guys would be heading out to the bachelor party somewhere. And of course he wasn't allowed to go. But he didn't want to think about it.

The only other person he knew wasn't there that he could talk to Mikey. Mikey was here in Vegas, yeah. But he was confined with Alicia in a hotel room of his own. And Gerard was to depressed to do anything.

He picked up the phone, dialling his brother's hotel.

"Stratosphere Casino, Hotel and Tower." a woman answered.

"Hi there, I uh. I don't know the phone number but I'd like you to connect me to a room."

"What number?"

"Room 301." Gerard muttered, biting on a hangnail.

"Connecting." the woman replied before Gerard was listening to a ringing in his ear.

"Hello?" Alicia answered curiously.

"Hey Licia." Gerard said with a small smile to himself.

"Oh hey, wanna speak to Mikey?"

"Please."

"Babe. it's for you." She called out, "It's your brother."

Gerard waited for a moment when he heard a sniffle in his ear, "Hi, bro."

"How are you feelin'?" Gerard asked, forgetting the niceties immediately at the sound of a familiar voice.

"Been better." Mikey sniffed loudly before he let out a barking cough, making Gerard jump.

"Jesus." Gerard muttered and Mikey managed a laugh.

"Shut up." Mikey sniffed unceremoniously, "What's up?"

"Just... Lonely I guess." Gerard sighed softly, "Everyone's out at their parties."

"Oh shit, you weren't invited, were you?"

"What do you think?" Gerard rolled his eyes, his heart thumped slightly, his stomach churning as he sat on the end of the bed and lay back on the mattress.

"That sucks, man." Mikey coughed, "Babe?" he called out and Gerard frowned for a moment before he realised Mikey was calling out to Alicia and not him, "Can I get more coffee? Thanks."

"Yeah it does. Jamia told me I wasn't allowed to go."

"I can imagine why." Mikey replied, "You brought this on yourself, guy."

"Fuck off, I don't need the preach from you, kid." Gerard scowled and Mikey chuckled, the sound suddenly interrupted with another bronchitis cough.

"Fuck." Mikey managed, sounding a bit breathless.

"Mikes?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to do tomorrow."

"Gerard..." Mikey began and Gerard let out a groan, sitting up and standing up to look at the window, "You knew this was trouble from the beginning. I told you."

"Mikey." Gerard warned again.

"I warned you from the start with him. You know I did."

"I remember. Six fuckin' years ago." Gerard sighed out and he heard Mikey cough out loudly again and hang up.

And Gerard did remember. He remembered like it was yesterday. He remembered exactly what Mikey was talking about. He remembered what the way he felt when Mikey brought it up, too. And just what started the best and worst part of his life

_6 October 2001_

_"No."_

_"Mikey come on." Gerard sighed softly._

_"No. I hate him."_

_"But he's such a great guitarist. We could use him."_

_"We have Ray." Mikey sat back in their living room sofa, folding his arms, his centred fringe fluffing as he huffed._

_"But Ray is old school, Frank is so punk, it could work." Gerard leaned closer, "C'mon."_

_"No. No way." Mikey scowled._

_"Why not."_

_"He's such an arrogant dick." Mikey scowled, "Thinking he can do everything. He didn't want me in the band either. Making it him or me."_

_"No he wouldn't dare." Gerard reassured, "Mikes..."_

_"He tried to hit on me, Gerard."_

_Gerard instantly let out a giggle, "What?"_

_"To try and persuade me to leave, he tried to hit on me." Mikey sighed out, "He has problems."_

_"Problems?"_

_Oh, back then Gerard would never have known just what Mikey was talking about and he should have seen the signs._

_"Oh please." Mikey scoffed, "I see the way he looks at you. He has a thing for you. I notice it every time you talk to him after a gig. And then he hits on me."_

_"He's just... Quirky. C'mon." Gerard smiled, "Just give him a chance."_

_"Okay fine. But don't expect me to like him." Mikey folded his arms tighter, scowling at the He-Man reruns on their TV._

_"I'm not. I've just- I mean c'mon, you can't deny he's good. Remember when we saw him and his band at Coney?"_

_"Yeah yeah, he's good." Mikey nodded, "Do you think he'll be able to play what we've rehearsed."_

_"Definitely. He might be able to add something to them."_

_"They don't need anything extra." Mikey groaned, getting up, mumbling about coffee to himself._

That conversation should have been where Gerard listened to his little brother. But of course, like a traditional Gerard Way move, he didn't. He didn't listen. He thought Mikey was exaggerating, he thought he was imagining shit yet again, the blurring difference between the comics and books he read and reality.

But then he remembered the first time. The very first time it started.

_8 October 2001_

_"So I managed to persuade him." Gerard smiled over his cup of coffee, clutching it in both hands as he surveyed Frank over his mug of coffee with his bright red mohawk._

_"Oh yeah?" Frank asked, stirring sugar into his own caffeine, "I'm glad."_

_"What's up with your hair?"_

_"What?" Frank brought a hand up to his hair, frowning._

_"It's such a bright color."_

_"It was black for ages, I dyed it a lot and i wanted to get away from it but like- like I dyed it but it just went this red colour so I just left it." Frank shrugged, "Wanna go blonde."_

_"You should. I could do it for you maybe." Gerard suggested._

_"Really?"_

_"I dye my hair all the time." Gerard replied with a knowing grin._

_"Yeah?"_

_"I have brown hair actually."_

_"Same. I had dreads when I left school though."_

_"Really? Like real real dreads?" Gerard asked with a smile, trying to picture it in his head._

_"Yeah but I cut 'em off. They were a handful. Smelled like weed too." Frank snickered, "Then I dyed my hair and shit." Frank shrugged as he took a sip of coffee, swirling it slightly._

_"And now it's bright red."_

_"Yeah."_

_"So what are you doing about Pencey."_

_"We're still going. Will for a little while, we have gigs for the next couple months but we all decided that after the shows we're gonna split. Neil wants to carry on with college and Tim's having a baby."_

_"Oh?" Gerard raised an eyebrow._

_"Then I'm all yours." Frank winked and Gerard found himself smirking at the cheesy line, "Oh, by the way..." Frank smiled over Gerard's shoulder, "I want you to meet my girlfriend."_

_"Girlfriend?" Gerard found himself surprised, "New relationship?"_

_"Been with my girl for six years now." Frank said proudly as a girl with dark red spiky hair stopped at the table, the chubby girl had a bright smile, her brown eyes sparkling. Gerard noted the Misfits t-shirt she wore over a white long sleeve._

_"Hi." Gerard said breathlessly, his stomach churning as she slid into the booth beside Frank, watching as he put his arm around her, kissing her cheek lovingly._

_"Gee, this is Jamia." Frank said, looking at Gerard with a half smirk._

_"Nice to meet you." Gerard said with a simple nod, taking another sip of coffee and looking down into the mug, frowning at the confused emotions in his stomach._

_He glanced up to see them whispering to each other, small, giggly sounds from Jamia and high-pitched chuckles from Frank made Gerard a little jealous when all he had was Kat._

_He loved Kat despite her constantly being in New York with her own studying._

_"Well, uh..." Frank said, "Are you gonna get going, babe?" he looked at Jamia, who nodded._

_"Yeah, Evan is almost done with work then we're gonna go and fetch mom at the hospital and stuff." she said, leaning in to kiss his lips before sliding out of the booth before she looked down at Gerard, "It's nice to meet you."_

_"Likewise." Gerard said and she leaned down, giving him a quick hug before walking out. Frank offered her a small wave before taking another sip of coffee._

_"Ain't she great?" he sighed, obviously smitten, making Gerard's insides slightly squirmy._

_"Lovely." Gerard said, finishing his coffee, "I like her."_

_It wasn't a lie, Gerard really liked her, she was very friendly and rather cute if Gerard had to say so. A bubbly girl indeed._

_"Stole my damn heart, she did." Frank said before he leaned back in his booth. Gerard heard a soft clunk under the table and saw Frank had kicked off his sneaker. Gerard sat up, ordering another coffee at the passing waitress, who nodded as she walked off._

_And then Gerard felt it. The tips of Frank's socked toes between his legs, resting on the leather seat. Gerard felt his heart pick up a pace in surprise and his tummy knot up tightly. He looked at Frank with a raised eyebrow as the waitress came over with a coffee pot, pouring more steaming black liquid into his mug, offering more to Frank, who nodded._

_As soon as the waitress left, Frank set his foot higher, the sole pressing against Gerard's crotch, his toes curling against Gerard's dick._

_He let out a small grunt at the strange feeling and shifted slightly in his seat, looking at Frank, who was peering back with his head tilted and a mischievous look in his eyes._

_"Are you, uh-" Gerard cleared his throat slightly, taking a shaky sip of his coffee as Frank ran a the bottom of his foot over Gerard's dick, making the older take in a shaky breath, "What are you-?"_

_"Problem?" Frank asked with a smirk and Gerard felt the conflicting confusion in his head._

_"Don't you- I mean... You're involved with..."_

_"Oh I know." Frank smiled, "Let's not think about that, hmm?"_

_"But..." Gerard frowned. Gerard was not like that, he wasn't that kind of person. He couldn't even think about how it would feel to have Kat cheat on him, he didn't want to be that someone. Knowing that he was purposefully being with someone who was with someone else. It wasn't right._

_But then again, it felt so good. The rush of adrenalin in his brain was slowly whiting out any sort of negative feeling, surprising him completely._

_"Shush." Frank smiled, "Don't start that now."_

_"Frank..." Gerard whined, setting his cup down._

_"Why don't we get out of here, huh?"_

_"I- I don't..." Gerard pursed his lips when Frank slid out of the booth, pulling on his shoe before he straightened up, holding out his hand to Gerard._

_He stared at Frank's calloused, deft fingers for a moment, swallowing hard before he got out. Frank chucked a wad of money on the table, taking Gerard's hand in his before he towed him through the other tables towards the door._

_They walked out into the icy fall wind, Gerard tugging his beaten leather jacket tighter as Frank did the same with his darkened denim._

_Frank looked for a moment before he crossed the street, tugging Gerard's hand as they walked. Gerard had no idea where they were off to but he followed, curiosity making him both excited and uneasy._

_They stopped outside of a small clothing store and Frank pulled him inside, the change in temperature made Gerard feel slightly dizzy, the warmth in the shop had him spinning._

_Frank pulled him through the spinners and racks of clothing, grabbing a couple of shirts. He pulled Gerard with him into the hallway of changing rooms. He pushed Gerard inside of one of them and closed the door behind them._

_He threw the shirts on the ground, pushing Gerard against the wall. Gerard let out a grunt, an ending yelp of surprise at the motion when rank's hands were on Gerard's faded t-shirt, tugging roughly._

_"Whoa- wait, wait, wait." Gerard moaned out softly and held onto Frank's shoulders, stopping him, "What are you doing?"_

_"D- Don't you... I mean..." Frank asked, gnawing on his lip._

_"I don't know about this..."_

_"C'mon." Frank muttered softly, "Just- Fuck."_

_Gerard let out a resigned moan as Frank came back into his personal space. He pushed up closer against Gerard and let out a silent moan._

_It was at that point that Gerard should have figured it out, but he didn't know Frank as well as he did now, with it being six years later. He didn't know Frank actually had a problem, that he had an addiction. It made so much sense later on as the years went by, but with them barely being friends for more than a couple months, with this being the first time Gerard had even come close to Frank, how would he have known. It made so much sense, with Frank consistently all over him on stage and off. Sure they made it look like a stage act and sure Jamia knew all about it._

_She did, and to be honest, she didn't mind. She had found out when she had found them together on tour. Gerard though at first that Jamia would flay him alive, but they had spoke about it, realising Frank had a problem. And yes it was awkward but Jamia's reasoning was that she would rather Frank be with a close friend than a couple strangers he didn't know to satiate a need he could never fill. Frank always had and always will have a sex addiction, and the only two people who knew would be the only two people who he would let in, let close enough to help._

_It wasn't even that Frank was always horny, even if he was, it was like an addiction to drugs, he needed it to live, to survive without going crazy. And the people around him, and even his fans, they merely took what they saw at surface level. A deep seated crush on an older boy with the face of an angel._

_But no, it was more than that._

_Maybe some day it'll all come out into the open, maybe one day someone would see into the facade and Frank would never be able to hide from his problems, his denial. His family, his friends, all of the Chem fans would know._

_But Gerard didn't know that as he pulled Frank closer against him, tucking his leg between Frank's thighs._

_Frank let out a groan against his ear, the warm breath making Gerard gasp and shudder, goosebumps rising over his skin._

_"Shit." Gerard whispered quietly as Frank began grinding against his thigh, gripping Gerard's back beneath his jacket. Frank latched his lips on Gerard's neck, peppering his skin with sloppy kisses._

_"Fuck." Frank whispered against his skin, grinding, shifting Gerard's leg and pulling his hips forward, grinding his hardened erection against Gerard._

_And Gerard was surprised at how hard Frank was already whereas Gerard was still working himself up to a hard on._

_"C'mon, baby..." Frank muttered, the words breathlessly falling from his lips like a mindless babble, grinding heavily, harder as he carried on._

_And it started to hurt, the rough denim on the rough boxers against sensitive skin. He frowned, clenching his teeth, a rough hiss through his lips._

_"Wait, wait, wait..." Gerard breathed out, holding Frank's hips against his, panting softly, "What are... I mean.."_

_"No, no, no... Please.." Frank muttered, his head buried in Gerard's neck, rutting his hips slightly, "Feels so good."_

_"I know..." Gerard breathed, "This isn't right."_

_"Fuck, fuck it is..." Frank whined, jerking his hips forward and Gerard groaned softly, shuddering and letting go of his hardened composure, his hips meeting in sync, "Wanna fuck you so hard..."_

_"N- No..." Gerard groaned, shaking his head, his hips working at a hard pace, grinding his dick against Frank's, "No sex."_

_"Please.." Frank moaned, "Wanna make you come."_

_"'M g'na..." Gerard nodded, tilting his head back, scrunching his eyes closed._

_"Shit- Yeah..." Frank dragged his nails under Gerard's t-shirt, his hands going down to grip and knead Gerard's ass, making him moan quietly._

And despite that being the peak of Gerard's own addictions to pills and alcohol, he remembered that day so clear amongst others of a similar need. He could never forget it.

And right at that moment, the moment he was at his weakest, lowest point Gerard tried to delve deeper into the past, forgetting about the present, forget about tomorrow and what awaited him. And the more he remembered his and Frank's first ever lusting moment together.

And it was still so fresh in his mind. And he couldn't ignore the intricate coils of heat in his stomach, thrumming his blood hotter in his skin, prickling the back of his skin.

And he was so close, the tense pain in his arm and his wrist as he palmed at his dick. He didn't mean to, he didn't want to. But at the same time he did. Badly. And he wasn't going to stop, he could only pretend it wasn't his own hand, his could only pretend it was the one person he needed right now.

Gerard let out a small simper, tilting his head back on the bed as his hips lifted, his body tense and clenching.

His arm felt as though it were about to fall off, as though it were to give out right when he needed to speed up. He let out a soft grunt, clenching his teeth and completely forgetting to breathe.

He shuddered softly, the peak of intensity churning in his stomach, bubbling up to its hottest point under his skin when it burst, tearing his body and his skin to pieces.

He cried out softly, his body all but sighing in relief as he came, warm fluid coating his knuckles, slicking up his palm as he rode out orgasm, hips canting.

He was panting, his mouth dry, his body shuddering and spasming as the electricity fizzled down into his feet. He dropped his hips, his body all but lame and lax.

He sighed softly, opening his eyes, realising the sun had already set, setting him in the darkness, the perfect shade to hide the shame he felt inside.


	7. 6- So Much Vom on a Hookers Tits

chapter by deerperkyset

 

Chapter 6

7 January 2002

The gig had been hot and sweaty. All five of them had been crammed onto the tiny stage in the small dive of a bar they got the gig at. But it had been totally worth it. The rush they all got from performing. The adrenaline, the euphoric feeling of playing in front of a small crowd of people. People that were actually singing along to the songs.

This, to all of them, was making it.

But the gig was over and all of them had walked off the stage, cheering, high fiving and Ray had said how he wanted to tweak a part of Sorrows for gigs.

This, however, was not what was on Franks mind.

He was all hot and sweaty and totally riding a massive adrenaline high. Frank was wanting to burn off the last of the kick he was experiencing.

And he knew exactly how to do it.

Frank groaned as his palms pressed against the cold bricks on the outside of the building. Totally lost in the moment as adrenaline still coursed through him. It felt like his body was thrumming as he pressed whom he had pinned between himself and the wall, to the wall.

Gerard whimpered as he felt squashed between Frank's chest and the wall. Lips collided messily and Gerard rolled with it, getting totally lost in the moment, along with Frank who was lost in his own head, lost to his need to blow off steam and just his need. This basic, carnal need that took over him whenever he thought about Gerard that way.

Plus he was pissed off. Really pissed off at Gerard as well so his need was mixed with frustration and annoyance as he sucked on Gerard's bottom lip, teeth grazing flesh that made Gerard whine as Frank's hands moved, sliding onto Gerard's hips. His fingers dug in, holding him so tightly. Nails digging into skin as Frank pulled away from Gerard, looking at him through clouded eyes.

"So pissed at you," Frank growled, lips clashing with Gerard's for a second again before pulling away. One hand knotted into Gerard's sweaty, greasy hair, holding him in place oh so tightly, making Gerard hiss at the sting radiating from his scalp, "So fuckin' pissed."

Frank was this combination of pissed and horny. Horny was just, well, that was Frank on a daily basis. He didn't understand it and he really didn't want to begin to understand it. The needed seemed more dark and twisted than usual, but that was probably because Frank's frustration was mixing with lust and need and and sheer annoyance as he looked at Gerard.

He was annoyed for one reason and one reason alone. It wasn't because of the gig they had just played. That had gone well. Really fucking well in Frank's eyes. It was more the fact that a while ago, Frank had considered dying his hair again. He had toyed with the idea, being sick of his red Mohawk because it was hard to look after and it was starting to go a reddy orange colour.

Gerard had insisted that Frank should let him bleach it out. He knew what he was doing, having dyed his hair more times than he had had hot meals, so Frank gave in, telling Gerard not to mess his hair up because that was one thing Frank was proud of about himself. He loved his hair so he really didn't want Gerard to mess it up.

Frank had pleaded with Gerard to be careful because Gerard had said that he was going to need to bleach his hair. Gerard had said that he totally knew what he was doing, reading the instructions carefully twice. Gerard pointed out to Frank that he had read them twice, thrice even, but Gerard hadn't exactly been sober when he started to do Frank's hair. Maybe he had drunk a bottle or so of something that really stung the back of his throat, but Gerard was Gerard so he believed he could do anything when he was drunk.

But Drunk Gerard forgot about time. It was like time just evaded him once he had finished putting the bleach on Franks hair. He didn't pay attention. Frank of course wasn't paying attention because Gerard had said that he knew what he was doing. Frank didn't need to worry.

But of course Frank worried when Gerard washed the bleach out of his hair. Of course he flipped when he saw how his hair hadn't gone how Gerard said it would go.

It was orange. Fried and orange. Frank had shouted at Gerard. Gerard had apologised, saying he followed the instructions meticulously, even if he had added an extra fifteen minutes onto the developing time.

Gerard had basically ruined Frank's hair. He was so mad at him and had been since it happened. Frank even spent a day not talking to him, shoving a beanie on to cover up how hideous his hair looked. But that didn't stop the names when people saw the shocking colour his hair was.

Kool-aid cunt was the favourite. That was the one that had Frank cursing, telling whoever had called him that to fuck off before flipping them off. Or even throwing something at them. Frank loathed the nickname that had been created thanks to Gerard ruining his hair. It made his insides burn and the anger bubbled away inside of him before he stormed off, muttering shit under his breath about the whole fuck up that was now his hair.

"Sorry," Gerard mumbled, knowing exactly why Frank was pissed off. Frank had told him how he was cross at him. He had made sure that Gerard knew exactly why he was cross at him. How could Frank just let go of the fact that Gerard had ruined his hair? He wasn't letting go yet. No, hell fucking no. Frank didn't let go of things easily, "I told you it was an accident."

Frank didn't answer. Yes, he was still cross and a small part of him wondered if it was an accident or just a piss take, but Frank had needs and Frank was adamant that he was going to satiate his needs. He may have been cross, but he had his ways of burning up his adrenaline and anger all at once. Two birds, one stone.

"So why the fuck..." Frank started, talking between kisses that were a little too messy and definitely firmer than intended, "Did I see you laughin' when Mikey called me Kool-aid cunt?"

Gerard stared wide eyed at Frank went he pulled away. He looked like a deer in the headlights because he didn't know that Frank had noticed that. He thought that Frank had been oblivious to his little laugh. But no, of course Frank had noticed Gerard sat at the back, laughing away quietly, along with everyone else. Of course he had to point it out that he had noticed. Frank kept looking at Gerard, waiting for an answer as he kept one hand in Gerard's hair, gripping tightly as his other hand held onto Gerard's hip, holding so tightly that if there wasn't a bruise there in the morning, then Frank would be surprised.

"I...I never laughed at you." Gerard stammered, lying because he knew that lying was quite possibly safer with how Franks temper could be.

Unless Frank knew you were lying, then generally, you were fucked.

And Frank knew that Gerard would be fucked, one way or another.

"I fuckin' saw you," Frank spat back, eyes screwing shut because he knew Gerard was lying. Why the fuck would he lie when Frank knew exactly what Gerard had done, "You laughed along with every fucker else."

"I was, um, laughin' at something Matt said."

"Matt was laughin' at me too."

And Gerard knew he was fucked. Whatever excuse he gave for his laughter, Frank was going to call him out for it. Frank knew and Gerard knew that he couldn't get himself out of this mess now.

Gerard's mouth opened to speak. He was trying to think of another reason as to why he had laughed, but nothing was coming up in his head. He was out of excuses and all that came out of his mouth was a strangled noise that Frank just sighed at, shaking his head.

"Did you find it funny?"

"N-no, 'course not." Gerard insisted, trying to shake his head but Frank still had a hand tangled in his hair, holding him tightly.

"Oh come on, everyone had a laugh about you fuckin' up my hair," Frank snorted, "Everyone, like, called me Kool-aid cunt."

Gerard knew what left him shouldn't have left his mouth, but the thing was, he was not exactly sober. Maybe Gerard had polished off a few beers before the gig. Maybe he had finished off a beer in record time after the gig. He was warm and loose, still thinking straight and not falling all over the place. But the breathy smirk that left him really shouldn't have left him right now because Frank was pissed off and Frank saw the small curl of a smile that had him more pissed off at Gerard.

"Is it fuckin' funny?" Frank snapped, hand moving from Gerard's hip to strike him. Gerard really wasn't expecting it as the back of Frank's hand smacked him right on his jeans. Right where his already semi hard erection was encased in grimey boxer shorts and denim. Gerard let out a choked grunt, his knees buckling a little as the sting of pain ran through his cock and deep inside of him. But it was like a weird pain for pleasure thing for Gerard. Yeah, it hurt, but god, he knew that Frank was pissed off and when he was pissed off and turned on, it made everything so much more intense. So much more...Gerard couldn't think of it now as Frank's hand was on his crotch, palming him through the layers of clothes that Gerard thought were highly unnecessary right now.

"Sorry." Gerard apologised, his speech laced with a whimper as Frank's hand pushed into his jeans, fingers sliding under the elastic of boxers that even Gerard was surprised he put on this morning. His hand felt cold, making Gerard gasp when fingers found his cock, wrapping around it messily inside of his boxers. It was too cold to be outside in the alley behind the club they had finished playing in, fooling around like this. But there was no way in hell they could do anything in their van. There was no room. It was full of boxes of merch that they were selling and plus, the seats were cramped enough to sit on, let alone mess around on. But Gerard seriously didn't care about how cold it was outside right now, in the back alley of the club. Frank had his hand on him, biting his bottom lip as he made Gerard stutter and whimper at the contact.

"What am I goin' to have to do to you?" Frank questioned, eyes narrowing at Gerard because this wasn't just a quick fuck in a dirty alley. This was Frank burning off anger and energy. Gerard was like some sort of relief for Frank. Once it was done, Frank would feel so much better, like some internal itch had been well and truly scratched. Frank would be okay, for a short while at least.

"Oh god," Gerard moaned, eyes closing when Frank thumbed at the tip, thumb rubbing against the slit, making Gerard shudder against the wall, "Fuck me...please, fuck."

"You think you fuckin' deserve it?" Frank spoke, raising an eyebrow at Gerard as he tightened his grip in Gerard's hair, "I could leave you like this? Leave you to fuckin' deal with it, like I have to deal with the shit you did to my hair."

"I said I'm sorry," Gerard insisted, eyes locking with Franks because even he knew there was only so many times he could apologise. He knew he had fucked up, but seriously, Frank couldn't stay mad forever. He had to believe that Gerard was genuinely sorry for turning his hair into the mess it was, "I didn't mean to do it."

Frank answered by kissing Gerard. His hand was still in Gerard's boxers, sliding up and down his cock at an odd angle, but it was working as Gerard gasped at the slight twist of Franks wrist, making his insides bubble away with heat. Gerard's mouth opened and Frank took that as the go ahead to slide his tongue with his, kissing him messily as hot breath rushed in and out of his nose, all pressed up next to Gerard's nose as they kept kissing.

"M'gonna fuck you," Frank spoke thickly when he pulled away, licking his bottom lip as he saw the pink tint of blush on Gerard's face in the low glow of a nearby street light, "Fuck you real good. Wreck that ass of yours 'cause you wrecked my hair."

Gerard uttered out a fuck yeah before Frank's mouth was back on his. He pulled his hand from Gerard's jeans, focussing on the buttons on his jeans to get them open. Frank succeeded, inhaling sharply when he slid his hands around the back of Gerard, pushing them under the jeans and underwear to grab at his ass, pulling Gerard so close to him as he rocked his hips forward. So nearly there, Frank thought as he broke their kiss, panting as he listened to the way his movements were making Gerard react.

This euphoric, whited out nonsense clouded Frank's mind. Nonsense that Frank really didn't want to consider right now. Or possibly even consider. It was just actions. Yes, there was meaning behind the actions, but at the same time, it was like there was a dark and twisted something that resided in the back of his skull. Frank so so far gone already that he didn't want to pick his thoughts apart to realise what their deep seated meaning was. What it was right now was enough as the sound of Gerard's pants rung out in his ears. It was enough. More than enough as the heat coiled inside of Frank, turning him into this adrenaline and sex fuelled animal who wanted to be buried in Gerard very fucking soon.

And Frank was knocked out of his mind when he felt something brush against his bottom lip. He opened his eyes to see Gerard holding something out to him. A small foil packet that was basically the green light for Frank. Gerard wanted it. Frank most definitely wanted it as Gerard held the condom out for him to take, which he did, biting down on the very edge of the foil packet, pulling it out of Gerard's fingers as Frank knew he was definitely going to blow off a hell of a lot of steam right now.

Franks eyes lifted from the used condom in the alleyway. He stumbled a little as he stepped away from where he had just finished pissing. This really hadn't been classy, relieving himself in the alley by the skip, but needs were needs and Frank was pretty fucking pleased that he had finally been able to go.

But the used condom that was lying in amongst the dirt and shit in the alleyway had triggered something in Frank's head. The memory of the time he had sex with Gerard after he had ruined his hair came rushing back into his mind. It was a little faded and Frank was pretty sure some of the details had been twisted and warped to a degree thanks to his terrible memory, but still, it all came back to him. Like it had only happened yesterday. Like the used condom in the alleyway he had looked at was actually the one he had tugged off when he came, discarding it onto the ground because fuck it, Frank was fucked out and he didn't care about a used condom when he had just had sex with Gerard, in an alleyway, against a brick wall.

The thing with the one he had seen whilst he was doing the fly up on his jeans, it was like a trigger, or a switch, or a button that Frank most probably shouldn't have been pressed. The temptation had been set in his head, like an itch. That itch was getting irritating and Frank wondered if it was an itch he could really well and truly scratch right now.

Maybe not in an alleyway like he did five years ago. Frank liked to think that maybe he was a little more classy now with how and when he had sex. But still, that itch was there and Frank was wondering when and how he could scratch. Or even who he could scratch with. He didn't have many options right now as his mind zoned and focussed and did that weird clouding thing that it did earlier when he had the lao dancer in front of him.

Her red hair reminded Frank oh...no, even he knew that he wasn't here because it was for the best. It was Gerard who couldn't be trusted.

Or maybe it was more that Frank couldn't be trusted. Frank didn't even entirely know himself. One of them couldn't be trusted with the other one. Or maybe they were just both as bad as each other. They had to be separated or shit went down and Frank usually went down and then it all just went back to square one where nothing changed.

Five years. It hadn't changed it, especially with how Frank's mind ticked over right now as he stumbled out of the alleyway, looking down the sidewalk to see which way he should go.

Being in Vegas with an itch that many people could easily scratch for him, one in particular, however, that one wasn't the cleverest of options and Frank knew that, screwing his nose up at his own thought of just hailing a cab and heading back to a hotel. His? Gerard's? No, that option was messy and as much as it was fun and Gerard knew Franks buttons and just how he liked it, it wasn't a good idea.

So Frank walked down the strip, stuffing his hands inside his coat pockets because even though the lights were bright and Vegas was very fucking pretty at night with all its extravagant buildings and hotels and casinos and dodgy clubs, it was still cold. His frame shook at the chill whilst he considered his options.

The club that the guys were still at was not an option. Evan was getting coke and James was so drunk and Frank just didn't want to go back there. Plus the stripper. No, the stripper made Frank's head do weird things so he seriously didn't want to go back to the club. No, not an option.

So Frank walked, or more stumbled down the strip with a load on his mind and the start of a load somewhere else. This was most definitely a bad combination, but with the alcohol coursing through his system, Frank couldn't think straight and thinking straight seemed like the wrong idea. The itch was there, burning away in his skull and fuck, Frank needed to scratch. Scratch real good.

He chewed on his bottom lip as his eyes scanned the strip. Was there somewhere he could go and sorted, so to speak. There was one place he had thought of going...

It wasn't a good idea though.

Frank couldn't just ignore the way his brain was firing now. It was like it was on one track. Everything else blurred out in his mind as the idea of sex, right now, became the main point of focus. He couldn't stop thinking about it. He didn't want to stop thinking about it. He didn't know why, he just knew that this had to be dealt with very soon or he was going to crumble. Grip would be lost and he didn't know where in the hell he would end up in Vegas.

Eventually he saw something in the distance, squinting so he could focus on what he had seen and if what he had seen was actually what he thought it was. Who he thought they were as he continued down the strip, walking closer to the group of people he had spotted.

He stopped for a second when he saw a car pull up by the group of people. Women, he really hoped they were what he thought they were now as he watched one of them walk up to the car, leaning in the car window to talk to the driver.

Frank watched intently for a moment, chewing on his bottom lip as his insides coiled. They had to be. Frank really hoped that they were what he thought they were, until he saw the woman in the short skirt, crop top and knee high boots stand up straight. She got in the car and it drove off.

Frank knew he had hit the jackpot instantly then. His itch would be scratched. He knew that now as he carried on walking towards the group of women. The hoovers.

Frank had never, ever done anything like this before. He had always found other ways to deal with his needs, but now. This was last resort. Frank felt the nerves fizzling away inside of him, but still, he continued to walk closer until he stopped, taking in in a shaky breath as he tried to make eye contact with one of them.

Frank gulped because he had kind of had an eye on one of the girls. She had a plastic looking black dress on with red boots, but no, of course that one hadn't noticed him. Of course the one who stepped forward to him, chewing on gum as she ran a hand through her hair. She had to be the tallest one out of all of them, towering over Frank as she stopped in front of him.

She was tall. Ridiculously tall, Frank thought as he looked her up and down. She was wearing thigh high boots with heels that were like wedges. Without them she was most likely taller than him, but still, she was so much taller than him right now as he took his eyes off of her boots, looking at the cropped shorts, seeing the halter neck she was wearing that really showed off more cleavage that Frank had ever possibly seen.

And the fact that her chest was in line with his eyes, yeah, she was really really tall as Frank swallowed hard, trying to ignore the nerves that were really making his stomach churn now.

"Hey sugar," The woman smiled at Frank, chewing on her gum as she watched him, "You lookin' for a good time?"

Frank went to speak, mouth opening to actually hold some form of conversation with her, but the nerves he was trying to suppress were playing havoc with his speech. He thought the alcohol in his system would have made this moment in time easier, but it didn't and Frank just stood there, mouth hanging open as nothing more than a croak left him.

He thought he could do this. He knew what he wanted, but nerves were being a bitch to him right now. Plus, he had no idea what to say. Yes? What do you do? Do you do everything, because I'm a little messed up in the head when it comes to sex so you might not even offer what I want to do.

"Aww sugar," The woman cooed, batting eyelashes at Frank, "What's up? Cat got your tongue?"

"Are you um...." Frank finally forced words out of his mouth which he was really quite impressed with. He wanted to make sure that she was actually what she was. What if she wasn't? She had asked if he wanted a good time. But what if her kind of good time was not his kind of good time, "Are you a...y'know..."

"Are you asking if I'm a prostitute?" The woman raised an eyebrow at him, resting her hands on her hips, "Are you a cop or something?"

"No. No, no," Frank shook his head quickly, knowing that she obviously didn't know who he was, so that made it a little easier. He knew he wasn't going to want to see on some website, something along the lines of My Chemical romance guitarist seen asking for services from a hooker on his bachelor party. That was a massive relief for Frank as he carried on, "Just...you see um, I've never done this before."

"Oh honey," The woman smiled sweetly at him, nearly awwing at Frank and his nerves, "Your first time with a prostitute? I might even give you a discount cause it's your first time."

"Thanks." Frank blushed, unsure of whether he should actually be thankful that the hooker was giving him a discount on having sex with her. It was such an odd thing to get a discount on. Frank had always been so used to seeing discounts on things in shops or in windows, but discount on sex? That was new for Frank.

"So what kinda thing you lookin' for?" The hooker asked, pulling her gum from her mouth and flicking it out into the road.

"Um...everythin'?" Frank asked, noticing how uneasy he sounded. He wanted. God he wanted this so much right now as he shifted on his feet, looking down at them before he looked back up at the hooker. It was just that he was nervous. Really fucking nervous because he had a card in his wallet that he was more than happy to take money off of for sex. It was just the idea of actually paying to have sex with a complete and utter stranger. He was trying to overcome the nerves so much because it really wasn't doing his stomach any good right now, but still, he wanted this. No. Needed this right now as he stuffed his hand into his coat pocket, fingers clamping onto his wallet because he knew as soon as this was definitely going to happen, he was going to need to get money as soon ass possible.

"You wanna find us a hotel room then sugar?" The hooker smiled, winking at him as she took a step closer to him. She was really fucking tall and Frank felt even more nervous as her chest was even closer to his face.

But the thing about nerves was that they didn't mix well with alcohol. Especially when the alcohol that had been consumed was a strong mix of beer and Jager. Frank felt it, like his esophagus had shortened rapidly. His stomach had lurched and he swore it was just nerves. It had to be just nerves. Pull yourself together, Frank thought. But that thought that had only lasted a split second turned into something more like oh god no as Frank's body lurched and his mouth filled with the horrible taste of bile and alcohol way too quickly.

And he couldn't stop it. There was no way in hell he could stop it as the taste of bile turned into his mouth filling way too quickly with what he had drunk. What was coming back up violently before he threw up, hurling so quickly as his eyes screwed shut and his stomach rejected everything that he had drunk.

God it stung, but thankfully it was over as quickly as it had started. Frank gasped because fuck, he never threw up. He never vomited. Frank knew he could handle his liquor better than that as he wiped his mouth clean on the back of his jacket sleeve.

But the problem was, Frank heard the string of curses and what the fucks as he opened his eyes, seeing exactly where he had vomited.

"Oh...oh god," Frank stuttered, holding a hand out towards the hooker because he had fucked up. Royally fucked up as he saw exactly where he had just vomited. Her halter neck was covered. Her ample cleavage that was on display, well, Frank didn't mean to vomit all over her. He didn't even know he was going to throw up until it was too late. He lost his footing for a second, stumbling as the hooker gasped, cursing as she looked down at what he had just done, covering her in his sick, "I'm, shit. I'm so fuckin' sorry."

"The fuck is wrong with you?" The hooker shrieked at him, looking like she too was going to be sick because he had projectiled all over her chest. The other women that she had been standing with minutes before had come over, asking what the fuck was wrong with him because who the fuck just threw up on a hooker?

Well, apparently Frank did now as he took a step back, still slurring out apologies while he thought that he should probably nix this idea very fucking quickly after what he had done.

There was no way in hell she was going to want to have sex with him now. No amount of money was going to fix this now as Frank stuttered out another rushed apology.

"Get the fuck out of here!" She shouted at him, making Frank jump a little because he was still drunk, even though he didn't really have anything left in him, it was still in his system as he looked at the sheer anger and disgust on her face. She looked mad, more than mad as she took a step towards Frank, "Sick bastard! Get the fuck out of here. Mess with me and you are in deep shit. You don't mess with me or any of my girls!"

Frank took a few more steps backwards, seeing that she seriously meant business. The two women with her meant serious fucking business as they followed him. But Frank did the sensible thing, or at least the most sensible thing he had done in the last ten minutes. He spun on his feet, somehow managing not to fall over before he ran, bolting down the strip as fast as he could go. It wasn't very fast as he heard the hookers shouting out after him, threatening to get their pimp to find out what hotel he was staying in.

So that meant that Frank couldn't even go back to his own hotel. He was too fucking scared that some Vegas pimp was going to crash through his hotel room door at three am. He would wake up, bleary eyed and starting to feel a hangover kick in as some muscle of a pimp hovered over him in his bed, asking him what his fucking problem was, throwing up on his girl like that?

Frank did not want to die at the hands of some pissed off pimp because he couldn't handle his drink tonight. Hell no. Frank was getting married tomorrow.

And even if he didn't get killed for his actions, he couldn't turn up to his own wedding, bruised and beaten up. Jamia would question what the fuck had happened to him and Frank did not want to have to tell the woman he was in love with and planning to spend the rest of his life that he may or may not have considered paying for sex with a Vegas hooker.

Jamia would not have been impressed.

So Frank knew he had to stay low, find somewhere else to pass out and recover from what he had just done. He didn't know where the fuck to go as he spotted a taxi at the side of the sidewalk. He shouted out, calling for the taxi before he made it. His hand was pulling the taxi door open so fast before he lunged into the seat, slamming the door behind him as he slid across the seat.

"Drive." Frank panted, short of breath from running. Frank never ran. Yeah, he may have had enough energy on stage to jump and crash around as he played, pouring his heart and soul into his performance. But the moment he had to run, nope, Frank was the world's worst athlete. Run for two minutes and he swore he was going to throw up a lung.

But Frank didn't want to throw up again. He had already done enough damage this evening with what he had done minutes before.

"Where to?" The taxi driver asked, looking over his shoulder at Frank who was still catching his breath back, wiping sweat off if his brow as he collapsed against the seat while the taxi pulled out onto the road.

His options were running out. Frank knew this as he looked at the back of the taxi drivers head. His hotel wasn't an option right now. He didn't want to go back to the strip club.

He had one option. But it was the bad option. Frank would have been in so much trouble if he went to where he wasn't supposed to go to.

But he had no choice. And it wasn't just that. Frank may have fucked up, throwing up on a hooker, but that itch was still there. He was still in that frame of mind and he couldn't let it go. He wouldn't let it go until he had had what he so desperately wanted.

The bad option was starting to look like a good option. A safe place to crash for the night, plus, he knew he could have his itch scratched well and truly if he went to where he wasn't supposed to go to.

And so the words slipped off of Frank's tongue easier than expected. He told the driver where to go and fuck, if Frank was going to go to hell for where he was going, then at least he was going to go to hell in style.

Vegas was hell enough as it was right now, so Frank felt like he was being driven towards the best option he could have ever picked


	8. 7- The Force is Strong in this Mac 'n Cheese

chapter by xotragician_child

Chapter 7

Of course Gerard wasn't going. Of course Gerard wasn't invited. Of course Gerard wasn't allowed to go.

It was officially Frank's bachelor party and he and all of the guys, including Evan and Ray and Dewees were all down at some strip club getting beyond pissed in and amongst all the cunt and tits.

Not that Gerard was in the mood to have his face shoved into some plastic boobs, but it was the principle of it all. Frank had not wanted Gerard to go, mainly because of all of the drinking and Frank knew that right now Gerard was a lot weaker than his usual self given the circumstances.

Although Frank Iero was one to talk. Frank Anthony would never ever admit he had a problem. Frank Iero would never ever admit to anyone that he was addicted to sex and Gerard knew it. And while no one else was any the wiser despite Jamia, the guys had unbeknownst just dragged a sex addict into a strip joint. Like pushing a crack addict into a drug den and giving them free reign.

Gerard didn't want to know how Frank was doing right now, he didn't want to think about how hard it would be for Frank to try and keep his cool, try and not jump the first thing that walks past him scantily dressed in almost nothing.

Hell, Gerard would have been there, tried to help Frank through it if he knew he could trust himself with the alcohol flowing through the place.

That, and the fact that Jamia had specifically told Gerard he couldn't go. With Frank drunk, she had already been worried enough about him and the hookers, knowing that the guys would at least keep him in line. But no one would suspect a thing if Gerard dragged him into the bathroom stall.

They'd all think he was going to throw up and need a hand perhaps, not even thinking that maybe they were going to fuck in a dirty bathroom when Frank's inhibitions were even lower than usual. Jamia warned him, threatened him within an inch of his life.

And Gerard listened. He wanted to please Jamia, not have her worry so much when she too, was going to have her own Bachelorette party. Gerard promised he wouldn't go, telling her that he would just hibernate in his hotel room. And she believed him. Gerard also surmised that she had enlisted Evan to keep an eye out for the lead singer.

But for his own good, despite the consistent worrying, Gerard stayed put. He had taken an insanely long bath, soaking in his own grease for almost two hours, emptying out some the water when it got cold and merely replacing it with more hot water until his pruny hands and feet started to feel disgusting.  
And he got out, drying himself off and sitting on the end of his bed stark naked for God knows how long staring at the fibres of the carpet, noticing the one or two ominous stains that were obviously going to stay despite the best efforts of the hotel staff that he didn't want to question the contents off.

He kept glancing at the door, hoping that Frank would walk in, admit his mistake and just take Gerard as he was, tell him he was leaving his wife and that he was going to be with him forever.

Unfortunately this was real life and not a Taylor Swift song. And Gerard let out a despondent sigh, getting up and pulling on a ratty pair of boxer shorts.

He stood there before he walked over to his suitcase, unzipping it and pulling out his collapsible easel. He unfolded it, setting it up near the bed before he grabbed the half finished canvas, setting it on the stand and observing his work.

He smiled slightly at the wedding gift for Frank and Jamia that he was working on, a painting for their new house. A vibrantly coloured painting of the cover of their favourite Misfits album, Hybrid Moments.

And for once, Gerard actually liked what he was painting, a rare occasion to say the least. He walked back over to his suitcase, pulling out the bag he used to carry his paints and brushes, slinging it over the side of the canvas before opening it. He pulled out a palette, observing the colours he had used before reaching in and peering, looking for the tubes he wanted.

He pulled them out, laying them on the tray of his easel when he stopped, pausing. He looked at the painting again, a melancholy wave washing over him. He stood back and looked at the canvas before sitting back down on the bed and flopping back with a huff.

Gerard was sad. He was more than sad. And as much as he wanted to finish the painting, working on it right now would only make him sadder and the minibar nearby would not last very long.

He let out a small, dry sob and rolled over onto his side, staring at the door yet again.

He needed comfort.

No.

The fatty inside of him wanted comfort food.

And hey, he frowned to himself, don't call yourself that.

"Piss off, I was fat." he sighed out to himself and rolled onto his stomach, army crawling up to the bedside table. He switched the lamp on and opened the bedside drawer. He pulled out the room service menu and scanned through it, picking up the phone and speed dialling one.

"Hello?" a female voice answered, sounding overly chipper for 10 at night.

"Yeah, uh..." Gerard began awkwardly, instantly beginning to bite on his thumbnail, "Room service right?"

"You betcha!" she replied again and Gerard cringed, "What can I do for you?"

"Um, can I get...." he looked over it again, "a plate of those, whatsits, uh, eclairs? Yeah some of 'em. And the thing of strawberries and cream. And a plate of Mac 'n Cheese. And- And uh... Yeah what do you have down there to drink?"

"We have tins of soda and we have a coffee service and tea as well." Gerard could practically hear her smile.

"Coffee then."

"Will that be all."

"Yeah." Gerard sighed out.

Lying to himself and to the woman, knowing that whoever delivered it would see he was here alone and know he was going to scoff it all down. Or, hopefully, think he was waiting for someone to arrive.

"Sir?" she called out and Gerard jumped, falling from his daydream.

"Huh? Sorry..."

"What room am I charging this too?"

"Oh, shit, uh..." he closed his eyes, frowning as he tried to remember, "Yeah I think it's 156."

"Alright, it'll be up in a jiffy." she said and Gerard hung up. He turned the light off again, rolling onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as he waited for the food he was going to force down his throat. He wasn't even that hungry. Just insanely sad.

He knew Frank was marrying Jamia because he loved her. But also because she was pregnant for the second time. The first time he was going to do the same exact thing a year prior but the baby didn't make it and they called it off.  
Gerard would never forget when it happened. God, everyone was heartbroken that they had lost their baby. Frank had so wanted to be a father, his eyes would light up when he talked about it. And yes he so badly wanted to marry Jamia, but it just wasn't in the cards then.

And as sad as Gerard was, the dick was also happy that Frank wasn't going to marry Jamia. Some selfish part of him knew that Frank and he would still be able to fool around every now and again, perhaps not as much as they used to when they first started with the band and the years previous but ever since the first baby, Frank had grown up a bit more, realising that he needed to get his shit together.

But it was Frank, and Frank was weak.

And it happened sometimes.

Gerard would never and could never say now and was always at Frank's beck and call. But now he knew that Frank was getting married, he would have a legalised, loving bond with someone that wasn't him. And Frank would take it seriously, it was something he had always wanted and now with the baby on the way, Frank was more than preoccupied with the child and his soon-to-be wife than Gerard.

And Gerard could understand how and why, but it wasn't like it didn't hurt. Of course it hurt. Why the fuck would it not fucking hurt.

There was a knock at the door and Gerard got up, wandering over and opening it, exposing himself to the fancy dressed guy standing in an overtly bright hallway.

Gerard stared down at the cart nervously.

"And how much would it, uh, be?"

"It's charged to your tab, sir."

"I know but I wanna know how much." Gerard shrugged as the bellhop waiter guy wheeled the cart into the room and turned to look at him, picking up a piece of paper.

"Your total is $45,sir."

Jesus Christ, Gerard thought to himself but didn't show it, merely nodding as he handed the guy a rather generous tip, watching his eyes widen slightly.

Was it a lot really?

Gerard wasn't too sure, actually, considering this was a hotel and all. But compared to the store then definitely. But like hell that it mattered.

He watched the guy walk out and close the door and he stared at the cart, wheeling it over to the edge of the bed when he sat down, pulling off the silver lids on every single dish and staring at it.

There was a small plate of strawberries on a plate next to a silver dish of mountainous cream. Another plate held about 6 eclairs smothered in chocolate and filled with even more cream and the last plate was filled with gooey and disgusting Mac 'n Cheese.

Beside that all was a massive pot of coffee, two mugs and a jug of milk and a smaller pot with sugar in it.

And of course there was a stack of two plates and two sets of cutlery. The bastards actually did think Gerard was going to have company. Little did they know that no, he wasn't, but he was however going to feed the sad fat shit that dwelled in his stomach alongside the small Kenyan family that fueled his appetite.

He stared at it all, unsure of what to eat first.

He stared at for ages before he decided to make himself a cup of coffee, picking up the round, white pot and tilting it, pouring the scalding liquid into a mug before he set it down again and began adding the milk and sugar, stirring it for a lot longer than necessary.

He picked the cup up with both hands, cradling it to his chest when he got up again, walking over to the window.

He stared down at the bright lights of the casinos and clubs surrounding him and he could see the tall fountain pieces nearby and it was all so beautiful. What he wouldn't give to go and walk around.

But he couldn't.

He didn't want to be seen out, didn't want to be recognised and surrounded by fans and even if that didn't happen, he didn't know if he could trust himself out there, wandering about, knowing he'd inevitably end up outside of the strip club that Frank was inside of.

He took a large gulp of his coffee, swallowing it down with difficulty, feeling it burn his tongue and his throat. He let out a sharp hiss of breath and set the cup down, biting on his lip when he turned.

He wandered back over, picking up an eclair and taking a massive bite. He let out a satisfied groan, the entire concoction of cream and chocolate and pastry satiating every fibre of his being as he chewed, swallowing and taking the last bite, finishing the entire thing in under a minute.

He stared at the cream on his fingers with a disgruntled expression, licking it off, feeling even sadder than usual. He walked around the cart, sitting back down on the end of the bed, staring at the food.

He picked up the set of cutlery, unwrapping the fork from the napkin, staring at the shiny metal in his hand, wondering just how fatal it would be if he jabbed it in the side of his neck.

He ignored the idea and looked down at the plate of Mac 'n Cheese, bringing the fork down to swirl the pasta around, hearing it squelch.

Could you drown in Mac 'n Cheese? Would you actually suffocate?

Gerard bit his lip, wondering to himself, pondering the very idea.

"What a way to go though." Gerard raised an eyebrow, staring at the food as he set his fork down. He leaned forward, eyeing it before he shrugged, dropping his head, landing face first in incredibly hot pasta. The squelch was insanely loud, his face hitting porcelain china.

He could feel it sinking into every pore of his face as he kept his eyes closed, holding his breath, knowing he couldn't breath. The mixture was too dense, too congealed for air. Even the holes in the pasta itself was filled with sauce.

This was it.

This was the way Gerard Way was going to die.

If not from Mac 'n Cheese, then from complete and utter failure because if he lived, the disgusting colourants in the food would make his white hair a funny colour, perhaps staining the pristine snow white hair with a yellow tint.

Like peroxide.

Gerard let out a groan in the back of his throat, wondering how long it would take when there was a sudden, surprising knock on the door.

He ignored it, pressing his face further in the food.

The knock rang out again, louder, persistent and Gerard internally cursed whoever was there, interrupting his brooding, self absorbed attempt at comical suicide.

Not that suicide was comical in general, especially not to Gerard Way. But it would probably end up being someone's laugh.

The guy who died in his pasta all alone and like a pig.

The knocking rang out again and Gerard sat up, macaroni plopping onto his thighs. He wiped his eyes free from sauce and got up.

"What do you want?" he called out in annoyance.

"Gee? It's me..."


	9. 8- 'Twas a Night of Premarital Braining

chapter by deerperkyset

Chapter 8

Frank held onto the doorframe of the hotel room, swaying on his feet a little as he watched the door open. Frank smiled, this really fucking cheeky drunk smile because he knew he really shouldn't have been here right now. But he was and that was all that mattered right now. He had made it to the hotel in one piece. He had made it into the elevator, up to the correct floor and he had actually found the right hotel room door. Frank was pretty fucking proud of himself right now as the door opened and he was stood there, hand still gripping onto the doorframe as he smiled at Gerard.

"What the..." Gerard started, a look of disbelief washing over his face. Frank was not supposed to be here. Gerard was not supposed to be with Frank on his bachelor party, but here they both were together, looking at each other, both standing on either sides of the open door, "Frank? Wh- What, um, are you doin' here?"

Frank just shrugged. The smile was still on his face as he looked down before looking back up at Gerard, "I dunno... Wanted to, like, see you."

"I'm not allowed to see you tonight y'know," Gerard stuttered out, shaking his head in disbelief because Frank couldn't be here right now. No, Gerard had to be dreaming that Frank had just turned up to his hotel room unannounced, "You're not s'posed to be here."

"Well, I am." Frank smirked, pushing himself off of his anchor that had been the doorframe. He had been holding it so he didn't crumple to the floor in a drunken mess, but luckily he was still somewhat upright as he pushed passed Gerard, still with a smile on his face as he let himself into Gerard's hotel room.

"Jesus," Gerard coughed as Frank brushed past him, the smell of booze hitting his nose. So pungent, so strong, so unexpected as Gerard watched Frank's hand rest on the wall of the hotel room to stabilize himself, "Frank... You stink."

"Mmm...I bet I smell good." Frank giggled, turning on his feet to face Gerard.

He had that look in his eyes. Gerard recognised it and he knew instantly that Frank just needed to rest. Sober up and rest before he made a really fucking stupid decision. Unless he had already decided and then then, if he had, Gerard knew that he had to just get Frank into bed.

Not that way. Just get him to sleep. Nothing like that was going to happen, even if the idea was on Franks mind right now.

"No, you smell like booze," Gerard sighed, really wishing that Frank wasn't this booze soaked mess of a person, clutching onto the wall of his hotel room as Gerard shut the door. No one would see Frank with the door shut so no one would know that he was here right now, "What the fuck... I thought, like, the guys were takin' you out to a... That, um, strip club?"

"Oh, they did," Frank nodded, "They took me. I had a lady take her bra off for me."

"Jesus Christ." Gerard shook his head. He knew that the guys had planned something for Frank. Something to do with giving him some sort of final send off before he got married. Gerard just didn't know that they had got Frank a stripper. He hadn't been a part of the planning committee for the bachelor party. Gerard hadn't been invited so how would he know about the stripper that they had got for Frank.

"She danced and... She, um, sat on my lap and... Her name was Candy Came," Frank giggled a little as he repeated the strippers surname. Or stage name. Whatever it was. It made Frank snort out a giggle, "Not Cane... No. I made that mistake. Her surname..." Frank stopped himself, giggling again as he wiped the sleeve of his jacket against his nose, laughing to himself because he was drunk and it was so funny to him. Frank was acting like a child, or at least a drunk child who was about to say something he probably wasn't supposed, "Was an orgasm."

Gerard just shook his head again at Frank. He felt like he was going to be shaking his head a lot at Frank, especially if he was going to be talking about his evening at the strip club like this, "Frank... You're so drunk."

"'M not drunk." Frank protested, standing up a little straighter like he was trying to prove that his perfect posture meant that he wasn't drunk. But he still held onto the wall. Holding himself vertical. If he went horizontal then even Frank felt like it would be game over for him.

"I can smell it on you," Gerard pointed out, screwing his nose up because all he could smell now was Frank. More booze than actually Frank. But the alcohol was apparently his scent of choice right now. That horrible thick stench of drink that Gerard really didn't want to smell right now because of, reasons. But Gerard had a thought and dear god, it wasn't a good thought as Gerard watch Frank attempting to walk, looking like Bambi on ice in a weird, drunk way as he made his way towards Gerard's bed, "Dear god, you better not throw up in here."

Gerard could only just cope with the stink of alcohol Frank had brought into his hotel room. He didn't want the smell of vomit clinging to every part of the room as well

"Nope, no," Frank slurred, making it over to the bed without falling over once. Frank was mentally high fiving for that achievement right now before his hands were feeling out for the soft and safe feeling of mattress under his fingers. At least if he fell on that then he wasn't going to hurt himself, "That's not gonna happen."

"Why?" Gerard asked nervously, wondering if Frank's drunken state meant that he was just overly confident about his ability to keep his stomach in check right now.

"'Cause I, um, already threw up."

Gerard went to say something to what Frank had said, but he was literally speechless. What was he supposed to say to Frank after he had just admitted that he had already thrown up.

"Jesus... Frank."

Yeah, that worked too.

"I threw up on a hooker." Frank admitted because right now, he was scared that some hooker or the hookers pimp was going to track him down to Gerard's hotel room. No, he felt perfectly safe right now as he looked at Gerard, still smiling at him as Frank propped himself up against the bed.

Gerard's mouth hung open, wanting think that he had just imagined Frank saying that. No, Frank had not done what he said he had just done. It was way too far fetched. This all had to be some sort of dream, "What the fuck?"

"Didn't mean to," Frank insisted, knowing that he would have rather have done other things with the hooker. Throwing up on her was not at the top of his list of priorities, "She was wearing these boots and her boobs were...right there," Frank slurred, holding his hand in front of his face, going a little cross eyed as he showed Gerard just where her chest was against him, "And- And, like, she was so tall like, how does a short person have sex with a tall girl? Like, how, um, does it work cause, wouldn't it be bigger? Would I be big enough?"

Gerard just ignored Franks ramblings, not caring that Frank was trying to figure out if he could have sex with a tall girl and make everything still feel amazing. He was more stunned that Frank had actually done what he said he had done. Gerard didn't want to believe it for a second, mouth hung open before, "You threw up on a hooker?"

"Yeah." Frank nodded.

"How did you not get killed?"

That was the question on Gerard's mind right now. Fuck with a prostitute, and not in the way you are supposed to and you will be fucked in the worst way possible.

And if they didn't defend themselves, then you would at least have to deal with their pimp. Either outcome, you were in a serious amount of trouble.

"'Cause I ran. Then I got a cab because, well... Cabs are faster than, um, my legs." Frank explained, feeling so proud of himself because he had run. He may not have run for long, but still, he did. Not that he really had any choice. Either walk away or run away. At least one exit left Frank getting into a taxi, not getting beaten up by three prostitutes.

"And you came here?"

"Yup," Frank beamed, "Wanted to see you."

He just neglected to mention how maybe he was a little too scared to go back to his own hotel room. He didn't want to be killed in some Vegas hotel room when the pimp had tracked him down, that was if they were searching for him.

Frank felt like he was totally over thinking this all now. The prostitute had probably just cleaned herself off, masked the smell of boozey vomit with powerful perfume before she got on with her job. Hell, she had probably even had someone come up to her with a wad of cash and was now giving them what Frank wanted.

Frank knew what he wanted. He just couldn't jump too soon or Gerard could easily have just pushed him off.

"That hooker better not have, like, followed you here. I don't want to get stabbed because you couldn't keep your beer down." Gerard grumbled, dead bolting the lock on his hotel room door very quickly, just in case. Gerard knew that Frank wasn't stupid. Maybe a bit of a twat when he was drunk, but he wasn't stupid. He just wanted to make sure before he kept his arms crossed over his chest as he walked over to Frank, noticing that Frank had spotted the trolley of food he had ordered.

"Shhh... We're safe now...." Frank waved a hand towards Gerard, sitting himself down on the edge of the bed, scanning the tray of food, seeing what he wanted to eat, "Ooh, macaroni."

"Hey, that's my dinner!" Gerard started to protest, but then he remembered what he had done to it not a few minutes before Frank turned up. Gerard felt like saying something along the lines of, don't eat that, I attempted to kill myself with it, but Frank was quick when he was hungry. He was also an animal when he was drunk and Gerard was seeing it right now as Frank stuck a finger into Gerard's dinner, frowning at how it was nearly cold, but Frank honestly didn't care right now as he stuck his finger in his mouth, licking it clean.

"How many people did you think were turnin' up to your room?" Frank questioned, looking at the trolley and just admiring the amount of food that Gerard had ordered. It was a lot, more than one person could eat, so Frank knew that he was just going to help himself. He was hungry after all, but cutlery was something that Frank really didn't consider as he scooped up more of the cheesy pasta with his fingers, eating like an animal who hadn't eaten in days, "Did you think I was comin'? Did you know I was, like, on my way? Oh... You knew I was comin' to see you."

The code was cracked in Frank's mind. He just knew. In his drunk mind he assumed that Gerard was so fucking clever, like some kind of genius who just figured out that Frank was going to come and see him even though they were supposed to be apart tonight. Like some sort of illuminati bullshit. Frank didn't give a shit about that though. He just knew that he was here now and his mind was definitely on one subject right now.

Maybe there was an agenda in Frank's mind, maybe Gerard thought the same, but Frank wasn't just going to come out with that. His mind was on one track right now, but he couldn't just come out with it after only arriving five minutes ago.

"No. I didn't know. I thought the plan of your bachelor party was like," Gerard started, remembering what he had been told by Ray earlier in the day, "Everyone, um, in one place, Gerard in the other. Nowhere near Frank because, y'know, apparently I can't be trusted."

Gerard kind of knew that he couldn't be trusted. How could anyone be trusted around Frank when he was who he was and how he got when he had one thing on his mind. Gerard knew he was weak when it came to Frank and his pleading, especially when he had a rock on in his pants, pressing it against Gerard as he got all whiny and needy for any form of sexual contact.

"No... You can be trusted," Frank blurted out thickly as he wiped cheese sauce away from his mouth, reaching out for an eclair because wow they looked good and Frank was starving after he had unfortunately emptied his stomach on the prostitute. He took a massive bite, licking cream off of his mouth before he spoke through his mouthful of pastry, "But I can't be trusted 'round you. It's you like... Look at you. Look at you. Look..." Frank paused. He screwed his eyes shut before he opened them again, pointing a finger at Gerard, "At you."

"Look at me?" Gerard asked, looking confused because Frank was babbling like he usually did when he was drunk and he thought that he understood him. Gerard just didn't understand why Frank was so insistent that he had to look at himself. He wasn't all that, especially now he had tried to drown in his food. Death by dinner. Was that really something that would make someone really take a second look at him and think, yeah no, I cannot be trusted around him.

"Just... I can't keep my hands off of you," Frank admitted, feeling a little embarrassed, but at the same time he was still so drunk that all inhibitions were gone. He wasn't ashamed to admit that Gerard did something crazy to him. There was no blush on his cheeks as he smiled crookedly at Gerard. Honesty was spewing from Frank as he looked Gerard up and down, "It's like I'm addicted to you. All I want is you. All I want is this... 'N I can't have it."

"You're drunk." Gerard sighed, knowing that it was probably just the alcohol talking, not Frank. Frank was usually so stuttery and mumbling when it came to talking. Yes he was talking, but it really didn't sound like him. It was like the alcohol had created this new person inside of Frank which had just taken over his own self. Real Jekyll and Hyde shit as Gerard watched how Frank was starting to devour more of his food.

"I am... Just a little bit," Frank giggled. There was no denying just how drunk he was. It was more than obvious as he swayed a little on the bed. His eyes looked heavy, glazed over as he looked at Gerard. Plus he felt confident. Actually felt like he could achieve what he came to Gerard's hotel room to do. Frank just thought that, how could Gerard resist him if he turned it all on and gave himself to Gerard. Frank knew what he wanted and in his mind, his drunk and currently sex fuelled mind, Gerard would want him, "But I've been thinkin' and I thought and I thought about you on my ride over to here."

"Oh?" Gerard raised an eyebrow at Frank, wondering where this was going.

He had an idea where it was going and Gerard really wasn't sure if he liked the thought of Frank's idea.

"Yeah... I really, like, thought about you," Frank spoke, grabbing a napkin from the trolley. He had gone to wipe his mouth on his jacket, but then he remembered what he had done earlier and the dodgy, damp stain on the sleeve of his jacket gave Frank the push to actually be somewhat civilised about his eating habits, even if he ignored the fact that he had been eating pasta with his fingers only moments before. Frank slid the silver holder off of the napkin, discarding it onto the trolley with a clatter before wiping his mouth, "I thought about you bein' all alone here, y'know. I thought you could do with the, company."

"I've been doin' okay," Gerard lied, nodding at Frank like he knew that he would believe him. No Gerard had not been doing okay. The sign was his face in the Mac n cheese, but he wasn't going to admit that. Frank seemed happy, maybe happy because he was drunk, but with that, Gerard would not tell Frank that he was sad because in his state, Frank could easily change and go sad and probably end up crying. Gerard did not want to have to deal with a drunk and crying Frank because he was just a little too over emotional when he was drunk, "I've been workin' on your wedding present. I ordered food."

"So much food," Frank chuckled, deciding that actually he was still hungry and the eclairs were really fucking good as he picked up another one and stuffed more than half of it into his mouth, talking through his mouthful like a child who really had no table manners, "Is that it over there?" 

In the moment of Frank turning up, Gerard had forgotten that he had left the easel out with his wedding present in progress. It was nearly done and Gerard spun on his feet, looking at it before he mentally kicked himself for not hiding it once Frank had barged into his hotel room.

"You weren't exactly supposed to see it yet... But yeah. That's it." Gerard sighed, watching Frank's eyes move as he looked over it

"It's rad." Frank smiled, nodding as he finished off the second eclair he had picked up.

"It's alright, I guess." Gerard shrugged. Yeah he liked it, but Gerard also knew he was his worst enemy when it came to his art. He could love it as he created it, then one wrong brushstroke or if the colour doesn't look good, he would hate it. Want to just throw it out of the window and let some car drive over it.

He hadn't got to that point, it was more just the fact that Frank was looking at it when he wasn't supposed to see it until his wedding day and now Gerard was just nervous about it.

"You need to stop... Putting yourself down Gerard," Frank groaned, rolling his eyes at Gerard's I guess. Frank knew that Gerard was like this incredible artist who could create anything. Frank had always said to Gerard that his art was amazing. But every time he did it, he would always get a shrug or a no it's not or a, I don't like it or whatever negative response Gerard could come up with. Frank was sick of it because Gerard was amazing and now, especially with being drunk, Frank was not going to take Gerard's negative tone with his art, "Jeez, you do this."

"No I don't. I don't do anythin'."

"You do. You do it, like, all the fuckin' time. You put yourself down about your art. You're amazing ,like, and when anyone tries to tell you how amazin' you are, you just... You piss me off," Frank shot out, making Gerard blink at him with his mouth open slightly because Gerard was not expecting this kind of honestly from Frank, "Y'know what... If you put yourself down about your art once more, I will go down on you."

"Wh- What?" Gerard stuttered, not expecting all of this to take that kind of turn.

But then again, this was Frank. He could turn the most innocent of things into some kind of double entendre.

"I mean it. I- I really mean it," Frank said, pointing a finger at Gerard as he squinted, pulling a face that just rang out I'm drunk and horny and you are in my line of sight, "You say... one bad word about yourself and your talent and I- I'll blow you."

"Frank... We, um, can't do this," Gerard spoke, voice shaky as he started to figure out why Frank had come to his hotel room. The one reason why Gerard couldn't be at the bachelor party. Because of what they had done before. Countless times, "This is wrong."

"How is it wrong?" Frank spat back, screwing his face up with confusion, "We've done it before. We've done it plenty of times before. This isn't wrong."

"It is when you're getting married tomorrow." Gerard pointed out flatly, running his hands through his hair because no. This couldn't happen. Frank was going to be married in less than twenty four hours. He had promised Jamia that he would stay away from Frank. But Frank was here, right now, sitting on Gerard's hotel room bed with a look in his eyes that Gerard knew spelt trouble.

"But Gee," Frank whined, sounding like a spoilt child who wasn't getting his way. A spoilt child who was actually a grown up who was drunk and totally somewhere he shouldn't be. But Frank wanted to be here. He knew exactly why he was here and he wasn't planning on leaving this room until he got what he wanted, "I need this."

"No, you don't," Gerard sighed, shaking his head, "You need to sleep and um, sober up and get ready for tomorrow, because you're marryin' Jamia tomorrow."

"But I want you," Frank said out right, stopping Gerard dead in his tracks. Frank knew that he could easily get Gerard to change his mind. Certain words and certain actions would make Gerard weaken, turn to putty in Frank's hands. They had done this many times before. Even though Frank was drunk, he knew exactly what he was doing as he looked Gerard up and down, "Baby, you know I want you."

It took Gerard a moment to speak. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally got the gears in his head working, "No, you don't. You want Jamia. You're marryin' her. Remember? The whole reason why we're in Vegas?"

"Gerard," Frank whined harder, fingers gripping at the jeans he was wearing, tugging as he tried to get Gerard to realise, "I need this."

"No," Gerard groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "You don't need this y'know. You need to sleep. It's the booze talking."

"Its me talking," Frank insisted, "Honestly. I need this. I just wanna feel good Gee. You make me feel good."

"Frank-"

"Gee please," Frank begged, looking right at Gerard. His insides felt like they were on fire. Frank was struggling to control it. If the feeling of fire inside of him wasn't sorted out, extinguished, then Frank felt like he wasn't going to cope. He was going to collapse under the weight of what he was struggling to deal with. Frank needed this. He felt like his life depended on it right now as he looked at Gerard, "You're the only person I can turn to. Please."

"Frank, enough!" Gerard snapped, making Frank jump because he really wasn't expecting him to react like this. Frank assumed that Gerard would be more than up for them fooling around like they usually did, but no. Gerard looks so done with Frank right now as he sighed, "This isn't like before. We aren't just, like, having a quick fuck behind the back of a venue. This is serious now, y'know. 'M not supposed to see you. You're not supposed to be here and... Frank, you're getting married tomorrow. You're marryin' Jamia and, you can't just turn up here, expectin', like, me to just bend over and let you do whatever you want y'know. I'm trying to be sensible here. You're drunk. I'm not taking advantage of you."

"You wouldn't be takin' advantage of me," Frank insisted, shaking his head at Gerard, ignoring how the room spun a little too quickly thanks to his action, "Trust me. I just, I miss the old times. I miss us and, like um... Gee, we won't be able to do it anymore once I'm married. This is it like... Last time. That's all I'm askin' for."

Frank really hoped that this was going to work. It had to work. He had a need and Gerard was his only option for satiating his need.

"Frank no." Gerard sighed.

"C'mon Gee, I wanna fuck you... Please."

Gerard's insides twisted at that. It had been a while since he had had sex like that, but Gerard knew he had to remain in control of this situation. He couldn't just give into Frank, right?

Wrong.

Hearing those four words made Gerard wonder if he was going to regret his change of heart later on. But later on was for future Gerard to worry about. Gerard right now thought that if he didn't agree with Frank then he wouldn't stop. Gerard knew what Frank was like. He was the kind of guy who wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted.

And right now Frank wanted him. That was enough for Gerard as he gave in, hoping that once this was over, that was it. This was the last time.

"Okay," Gerard nodded, "But I'm gonna fuck you."

"But..." Frank stumbled. His plan wasn't happening. It was, he was going to have sex, but it wasn't how he wanted it. Not that he was complaining as such, just, he had been dead set on what he wanted. Nothing was going to change his mind.

Except maybe Gerard.

"Frank." Gerard said, raising an eyebrow at him. If they were going to have sex then Frank wasn't going to be the fucker. Hell no. He was drunk. He had barely made it to the bed where he was sat, stumbling and gripping onto the bed spread as he sat down. If he could barely walk then there.was no way in hell he would be able to have the sex he wanted. It would have been messy, possibly shit and no, Gerard did not want Frank losing his balance and falling off of the bed thanks to his drunk state.

"Fuck off," Frank huffed, screwing his face up at Gerard. He knew what he wanted. That was the whole reason why he had come to Gerard's hotel room in the first place. But he also knew that if he argued with Gerard, he wouldn't get what he wanted. Sex was sex after all, no matter how it was given or received, so Frank rolled his eyes, swaying on the bed a little before he gave in, "Fine. Just... Wreck me then."

Frank leant back on his arms, pulling his legs up, feet on the edge of the bed as he splayed open. His head hung back as a throaty chuckle left him. Gerard wondered what the fuck was so funny right now, but Frank spoke, head lifting up as he looked at Gerard with a smile on his face, "It's like old times. You always want me."

"You're so cocky," Gerard shook his head at Frank as he started to unbutton his shirt, "So fuckin' full of yourself when you're drunk y'know."

"I'd rather you were, like, full of me," Frank winked, his other eye nearly closing at the same time, like he was merely just blinking out of sync at Gerard. The alcohol was still raging through his system and Frank was on a lack of inhibition high. Drink did wonderful things to Frank, filling him with confidence that he didn't usually have when he was sober, "But you want me. You said."

"You wanna be in me so much huh?" Gerard paused undressing as he spoke.

"Well... Well yeah." Frank nodded. This was the whole purpose of his taxi ride over to Gerard's hotel room.

"Tell you what, I'll give you um... A free blow job if you can find my asshole right now."

Frank felt like this was a challenge he could totally excell on. Him and Gerard had done it enough times that he swore he could find Gerard's asshole blindfolded.

It just meant that Frank actually had to get up off of the bed. It meant walking over to Gerard. He was only a few feet away from the bed, but still, the challenge seemed tricky as Frank tried to lift himself up off of the bed. He wobbled a little bit, vision fuzzy before he fell back down onto the bed, huffing out over the fact that this challenge seemed near impossible in his drunk state.

"I..." Frank started, but gave up, body relaxing a little as he admitted defeat.

"That's what I thought." Gerard smirked, shaking his head at Frank, continuing to undo his shirt.

"But, do I still, like, get the blow job?" Frank asked out of sheer curiosity right now because a blow job seemed like a fantastic start to what they were about to do. Gerard had this trick of being able to give the best, mind blowing blow jobs and Frank was more than wanting one right now.

"You're gonna get more than a blow job," Gerard spoke, undoing the last button on his shirt and shrugging it off of his back, "Don't be so fuckin' greedy."

"Spoilsport." Frank pouted, laying back on the bed as he waited for Gerard to finish getting undressed.

"You gonna take your clothes off then?" Gerard asked, seeing how Frank was flat on his back on the bed, still fully clothed and not showing any signs of stripping off any second now.

Frank nodded, picking himself up off of the bed, climbing off of the bed. He wobbled for a second when his head spun, but he grabbed onto a slither of balance. He was upright, not flat out on the hotel room floor as he fumbled for his belt.

Gerard felt like he should have helped Frank. He looked like he was struggling as he fought with his belt. Eventually he got the damn strip of leather undone, ah-haing as he pulled the belt apart. Franks fingers fumbled with the buttons on his jeans, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he smiled. The cheeky smile was plastered on his face as he popped open buttons. He was finally going to get some. Frank was desperate now, itching to be touched, itching to feel Gerard inside of him.

Fuck fucking. Frank wanted it from Gerard so badly right now.

Frank was more than eager as he got the last button on his jeans undone. He felt so proud of himself for actually being able to get out of the stupid unwanted item of clothing. He didn't need clothes right now. Neither did Gerard, but he was well on his way to being more naked than Frank right now. Gerard had his jeans undone, still sitting on his hips as he watched Frank.

"You okay there?" Gerard asked, watching Frank starting to attempt to shove his jeans down. Frank just nodded, pushing the jeans down his thighs, down the rest of his legs before kicking them off along with his shoes. Then there was the matter of underwear. Frank looped his fingers into the elastic of his boxers, tugging the fabric away from his skin, trying to be like some sort of tease. A drunk tease as he flashed a little pubic hair at Gerard.

"You want this don't cha?" Frank smirked, trying to be as seductive as he possibly could right now, even if right now he really wasn't that seductive. He was trying at least. That was something.

"I think you want this more than me," Gerard had to admit, "But yeah like... I guess I do want you now."

"F'course you do," Frank snorted drunkenly, smirking the entire time before he pushed his boxers down to his ankles, stepping, or more stumbling out of them before he kicked them to one side, discarding them because he really didn't care for underwear right now. Or even clothes for that matter. It just felt so good right now, finally being out in the open, watching Gerard's eyes get that hungry glint in them as he looked down at Frank's half hard cock, "Hell, I'd have me if I could."

Gerard shook his head, "So fuckin' full of yourself, dick."

"Thanks for noticin' it." Frank shot back, taking the insult and turning it into a compliment, smiling at Gerard.

"Just shut up and let's get this over with..." Gerard groaned, shaking his head at Frank as he pushed his jeans down. Gerard was kind of thankful that he hadn't actually put any underwear on. It was saving him time and it was less.hassle because it was one less item of clothing to remove as he stepped out of his jeans.

"Okay then..." Frank said, totally ready for this to happen right now. He needed this as he turned on his feet, holding his arms out to balance himself. Frank just had this apparently fucking genius idea to speed it all up. Who needs a bed when you can just, bend over. It seemed so genius as Frank leant down, surprisingly himself for a second as his fingers actually touched his toes and his ass was fully on display to Gerard who was still stood behind him, now wide eyed and choking on air, sputtering a little as Frank really did put his ass out there for Gerard to have, wiggling it in his direction, "Come and get it big boy."

Gerard went to respond, but words failed him. What the fuck was he supposed to say about what Frank was doing right now? Thanks, I'll stick it in right now? The bed was where Frank needed to be right now. Not bent over like that, showing himself off to Gerard.

But Frank really should have thought this little move through. The moment he was bent over, his head spun. He thought it was the booze playing tricks on him, but the spinning didn't stop. Frank probably should have wondered if he had bent down to quickly, or maybe this was not a good move to pull off when he was drunk. But those thoughts didn't cross his mind as he started to tip. The world went horizontal, vertical, all ways as the dizzy spell took over and Frank fell, knocking himself against the wooden frame of the bed before he hit the carpet in a crumpled drunken heap.

"Jesus fuck." Gerard gasped because he had watched Franks bent frame slowly lean. He knew Frank was going to fall, but it was like it had happened in slow motion. There was nothing Gerard could do to stop it and before he knew it, it was too late. Frank was on the floor, drunk and horny and just, Gerard couldn't even find a word to describe what this was right now as he rushed over to Frank to make sure he hadn't injured himself, "Frank? You okay?"

"What the..." Frank spoke. Gerard felt relieved because Frank hadn't knocked himself out in his hotel room. He wouldn't have to call down to reception, asking for a medic or an ambulance or something to help Frank. Thank god none of that was needed as Frank gingerly lifted his head up, looking a little shaken but at least okay, "Where the fuck did the, um, floor come from?"

"The floor is where it's always been," Gerard shook his head, hand holding Frank as he tried to lift himself up. He checked his head, not finding any cuts which was really lucky. Somehow Frank felt uninjured, not even finding a bump or a lump from where he had gone down. He didn't get it, but it was more than obvious that Frank was loose enough and relaxed enough thanks to the drink he had put away that when he went down, he didn't feel a thing. Numbed out. Maybe a little woozey and dizzy now, but at least he wasn't throwing up thanks to concussion, "Can you stand?"

Frank attempted, but his legs gave out. Gerard tightened his grip on Frank, holding him because it was more than obvious that Frank was drunk. Even if Gerard hadn't have put two and two together to get the answer Frank is wasted, at last now he would as Frank leant against Gerard, going dead weight.

"Jesus Christ Frank," Gerard huffed out as he tried to keep Frank upright, not letting him collapse, "Just get on the bed before you brain yourself."

Gerard helped him, hoisting Frank up, holding his sides firmly to stabilise him. Frank finally got onto the bed, shifting so he was lying on his back. He shifted his hips, knowing full well that he still had nothing on below the waist. Franks mind hadn't changed since the fall. He still knew what he wanted as he lifted his shirt up a little, "Okay... Okay. I'm ready to go Gee. Come on, c'mon, want you."

"Really?" Gerard questioned, considering throwing his jeans back on because how could they do it after Frank had nearly knocked himself out on the corner of the bed? The start of it all wasn't exactly fantastic. It was far from it as Gerard watched Frank on the bed, "Don't you think that you should, like, sleep?"

Frank shook his head, "Nuh-uh. This is happenin'."

Gerard felt like he should have really listened to his thoughts in his head that screamed that this was a really bad idea, but he didn't listen. Gerard knew that he wasn't very good at listening to the thoughts that lead to the right thing. The best scenario. No, thoughts were ignored because Frank had said that Gerard was not going to be taking advantage of him. No, Frank wanted this as he pulled his knees up, spreading his legs apart, giving Gerard access.

And right now, with Frank like this, how the hell could Gerard say no to him?

"Yeah, yeah yeah." Frank breathed out as Gerard climbed onto the bed, sliding right between his legs, settling himself right where he wanted to be right now. This really wasn't the best thing the two of them could have been doing right now. They shouldn't have even been in the same room together, but neither of them cared about that right now as Gerard's lips crashed against Frank's, who whined, relaxing and winding up all at the same time. Relaxing because finally and winding up because sex, that itch was finally being scratched. Scratched real good as Gerard pressed his frame against Frank's, squeezing him against the bed.

Franks legs instinctively wrapped around Gerard, holding onto him tightly, not wanting to let go as his hands roamed, starting in his hair, down to his neck, to shoulders where nails dug into skin when Gerard rolled his hips against Frank, making him squirm and shudder at the sensation of Gerard's semi rubbing against him. His hands moved, sliding down Gerard's arm, moving to his sides before Frank's hands were on waist, the warmth of Gerard against his hands, against his body as Frank's shirt, which was still on, started to ride up.

Frank frowned. He remembered all the times they had been together, feeling like he knew Gerard's body pretty well. There was always that little chub that Gerard had. The extra weight that he hated to carry, but Frank loved it, saying how he could really get a good hold of Gerard when they had sex. But it wasn't there. Sure, he could grab hold of Gerard, nails digging into skin, but it wasn't the same. It was different and Frank broke their kiss, panting a little while he looked up at Gerard, "You've lost weight?"

Gerard's mind stalled. This was a really random thing to point out as the two of them were just getting going. He looked at Frank like what the fuck, not really knowing what to say, "What?"

"You're losin' weight?" Frank stated again, hands feeling over Gerard, noticing how slim he was getting, "Like, are you eatin'?"

If Frank had only seen Gerard earlier, putting away an eclair in record time, then he would have seen that he was eating.

"'Course I am." Gerard answered Frank's question.

"I'll give you somethin' to eat right now if you want," Frank spoke, trying to sound seductive and sexy, but the way his lips curled and a slight giggle rung out in his words, his still drunk state left him a little child like when it came to talking about something explicit, "My dick."

"Shut the fuck up Frank," Gerard sighed, "Not now."

"Call it the Frank diet. High protein, plenty of exercise-"

Gerard shut Frank up. Their lips connected again and Frank's words stalled in his mouth, sealed off by Gerard. Franks train of thought fizzled out and died because this was more important and this was right now. Gerard rolled his hips against Frank again, Frank tried to match the movements, his erection pressed between his own body and Gerard's. Gerard's was pressed against him and Frank wanted him. The want had always been there, especially since Frank had considered this his option when all else failed.

But Gerard didn't want to keep Frank quiet for too long. He just wanted to stop him from babbling. Gerard was rather fond of how Frank sounded. He wasn't noisy as such, just more, if something was being done right then he wanted to at least make it heard that he was enjoying it, ranging from moans to slewing out curses, to the hiccups of air that he drew in when the right spot was being touched or kissed or grazed with teeth.

And Gerard knew one spot as he broke their kiss, leaving Frank gasping, needing more as Gerard pressed his mouth right below his ear. Franks body lurched from where Gerard was connected to him. Hot breath right in his ear as Gerard kissed, licked and sucked at the sensitive spot of skin that had Frank mewling, nails digging into Gerard's skin as he needed so much more.

"Come on Gee," Frank panted, wanting to hurry things along. Get this started right now, "Enough with the fuckin' foreplay shit. Fuck me."

"Calm down," Gerard said, moving himself up and off of Frank. He sighed, body relaxing slightly, but still wound up and hard as he watched Gerard go over to his luggage. Frank watched him unzip a pocket, fumbling around before he pulled out what he needed, "Gonna do this right."

"You brought condoms and lube with you?" Frank chuckled, seeing the bottle and the foil pack in Gerard's hand when he joined him back on the bed, "Who the fuck brings condoms and lube to a wedding in Vegas?"

"I dunno," Gerard shrugged, "It's a wedding. People get lucky at weddings."

"You're gettin' lucky now."

"Well," Gerard stopped himself, realising that yeah, he honestly didn't think that this would happen. Frank was not supposed to be with him like this, naked on his hotel bed, begging to be fucked. He wasn't even supposed to be here at all. He was supposed to be in some strip club on the strip. Or at some casino. Or...somewhere. Not here, even though he was here right now with a hand around his dick, pulling his legs up a little higher when Gerard uncapped the lube, "This isn't supposed to happen."

"It is though." Frank smirked, watching Gerard squirt lube onto his fingers, coating them, making Frank anticipate the stretch and the sting and then just Gerard in him.

"Yeah." Gerard nodded, looking down at his slicked up fingers like this should have been the moment he knew this was a very bad idea. But he didn't. Gerard wanted this. Probably not for the same reason Frank did. Frank wanted it for reasons he didn't want to understand, but Gerard still wanted this as he capped the lube, tossing it to one side before he shifted on the bed, pulling himself closer to Frank, getting right between his open legs and pressing his fingers to Frank's ass.

Frank's mouth went slack as he felt Gerard pressing a digit against him. The ache of the intrusion rung through him, but the electric like sensation that bubbled in him mixed with the sting, feeling perfect. Just what he wanted, even though he wanted more as Gerard's finger filled him.

"More," Frank begged, pushing down against Gerard, needing more, wanting to feel so damn full as soon as possible, "C'mon Gee, can take it."

Frank didn't want to wait much longer. Patience was not a virtue with him right now. He swore that Gerard was just fucking with him, not actually fucking him and that pissed Frank off a little bit, pushing down against Gerard's finger. Only one finger. Frank wanted more. Not just fingers. Thick cock in him, wrecking him and finally satisfying the part of his brain that was currently dying right now thanks to Gerard's one finger.

But he felt like he was starting to hit a state of bliss as Gerard pushed in another finger, stretching more, scissoring and curling, making Frank whine and grip onto the bed sheets tightly. Gerard's fingers felt perfect, but still not quite enough as Frank shifted on the bed again, trying to get him to hurry the fuck up before pads of fingers brushed against the one spot that made Frank's back arch as a jolt of pleasure spiked inside of him, breath caught in his throat and a strangled gasp left Franks parted lips.

That was all it took, Gerard finding his prostate once, to make Frank turn from a drunk and horny guy to someone who was beyond turned on. His mind was racing and his body was aching for this, right now. No more teasing, no more prep, Frank could not wait any longer as he leant up on his elbows, looking down at Gerard with a look of pure animalistic need in his eyes, "Gee, just... Need you. C'mon. Stop fuckin' around."

Two fingers would be enough. Frank knew that he could take it. He wanted this more than anything right now as Gerard pulled fingers out of him. Frank pulled him up, pulling Gerard back on top of him. A kiss was shared, not quite on target, a little messy and it was over too quick, but it was enough for now as Gerard leant up onto his knees between Frank's legs. He grabbed at the condom, tearing the foil open before rolling the condom over himself, biting his bottom lip as he did so, breathing as steadily as possibly through his nose.

"C'mon..." Frank whined, his patience running out as he watched Gerard get a little more lube, slicking up his cock before he leant back down over Frank, lining up.

"So fuckin' impatient aren't you, you fucker." Gerard groaned, his weight pressing down on Frank, making the squeeze perfect as blunt head of cock pressed against his hole.

"You're the fucker." Frank snorted.

"God shut up," Gerard sighed, rolling his eyes as Frank's comment, "You're so annoyin', y'know."

"Why don't you just, like, shut up and fuck me then." Frank shot back, wrapping his legs back around Gerard. Frank considered other things to say to get Gerard to hurry the fuck up, but he didn't have to. Gerard beat him to the punch as he pushed into Frank, slowly filling him.

Gerard paused, half in because maybe he had possibly forgotten what it was like to be with Frank like this. Their last few encounters had been quick hand jobs or blowjobs. Not actual sex. He forgot what it was like, feeling the tight heat of Frank around him, making him pause to just get himself together. They were together. This was happening and this was what Gerard wanted now. Frank like this, mouth hung open, panting while he adjusted to Gerard in him.

Gerard pushed in the rest of the way, taking a moment to just realise that this was right now. Frank was underneath him, legs wrapped around his waist. If anyone knew where he was right now and who he was on top of, both of them would end up in so much shit.

And Frank didn't even consider that the guys at the strip club were most likely looking for him. Probably asking Jamia if she had seen him. No, that really didn't matter as Frank's fingers skimmed up Gerard's neck, gripping onto the dark strands of hair as he looked up at him.

"Y'know what you should do?" Frank spoke, fingernails scratching against Gerard's scalp, making him hum at the touch, "You should dye your hair."

"Really? You mention this now?" Gerard frowned, wondering what Frank was getting at.

"Yeah," Frank nodded, "You should dye it red. Like, bright red. Would look so sexy on you."

Frank could just picture Gerard with red hair. Contrasting brightly against his pale skin. It would look perfect on him. So shocking, but so fitting all at the same time.

Frank wanted to say something about how if Gerard had red hair, he probably wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of him, but the conversation died when Gerard moved, pulling out a little before he pushed back in. Frank groaned, head tilting back on the bed when Gerard rolled his hips, picking up a slow rhythm with his thrusts.

This was good, so damn good as the two moved together on the bed. But Frank wanted more as his insides started to knot up. Frank wanted to feel like Gerard had been in him. He wanted to remember that they had done this. He wanted to feel fucked out and wrecked, like every time he moved or sat down, he would be reminded that he had been with Gerard one more time, just in case this was it.

"Gee," Frank whimpered, needing. It was a heady mix of wanting to feel good and wanting to feel the euphoric high that he got from sex. Frank was desperate for it right now as he tried to angle himself better, "C'mon baby, faster."

Gerard leant up on his arms, supporting himself as he did what Frank asked for, speeding up. Franks moans came out sharper and louder with every thrust, fingers tightening in Gerard's hair while he tilted his head right back, Adam's apple bobbing up and down every time he tried to swallow down air into his lungs. He needed this more than the air he was breathing right now. The euphoric state of bliss that Frank was trying to achieve, this was more than need, more that Frank was greedy for it right now as Gerard's cock brushed against his prostate, making him yelp and want it just like that right now, but more. So much more.

"Harder," Frank ordered, getting overly bossy over exactly how he wanted it. But this was just it, Frank knew what he wanted and he knew how he liked it. There was nothing wrong with getting it exactly how you wanted it. It was that needy want that had Frank's hands moving, landing on the bed and gripping to the sheets while he looked up at Gerard with pure hunger in his eyes, "Fuck... Wanna feel you for days."

Gerard pulled out for a second, making Frank whine at the empty feeling, but he didn't leave him waiting for long. Gerard slid his arms under Franks knees, opening him up wider, making him keen at the sting of burning muscles in his thighs. Frank looked up at Gerard, his still fuzzy eyes seeing the way his hair was starting to stick to his brow. He looked so close to being fucked out himself already, heavy lidded eyes looking down at Frank, but he lined up, making Frank anticipate what he wanted before it happened. And then it happened. The smack of skin hitting skin rung out as Frank barked out a moan. His whole body thrummed with heat and bliss when Gerard gave Frank a moment to adjust again. He was only just starting again. This is what Frank wanted, he was going to get it, that was one thing Gerard was sure about.

Frank didn't care if anyone could hear him in the adjoining rooms. He didn't care that the bed shook and the headboard was knocking against the wall. It added to it all as the sound of skin slapping against skin mixed in with his moans, Gerards breathy moans and everything else. He was so nearly there already. Precome leaking onto his skin from his untouched cock. His insides were burning white hot as he climbed higher and higher. So there, right on the brink of what he had desperately wanted earlier on.

"Gee, I'm gonna..." Frank forced out, his words cracking and breaking as the heat started to spread, burning him up from the inside out.

"Same." Gerard said, eyes closing as he took felt just how close he was, legs shaking and his arms screaming to give out and collapse. But he was there, holding off to let Frank have his first. This was for Frank.Yes, Gerard wanted this more than anything right now, but somehow in the midst of all of this, he was being some sort of gentleman, letting Frank come first as he bit his lip, trying to hold off as it all started to become too much.

And then Frank finally broke, body shattering into a million pieces as his orgasm ripped through him. The force of it had Frank choking as his body convulsed, come streaking his stomach and chest. The high had been reached. Frank felt like he was on top of the world right now, riding this state of utter bliss as Gerard continued, slamming home again and again. Frank felt used, this worn out, fucked out, over sensitive and aching used. Most people probably would have asked for it to slow down, but not Frank. He wanted to be aching. He wanted to feel it like for days, feel it like it had only just happened.

Gerard was there as Frank clenched around him, pushing him over as he pushed in once more, stilling as the orgasm hit him like a solid smack to the face. The wave of pleasure rippled through Gerard as he came, slewing out curses and Franks name while he rode out the best orgasm he had had in awhile.

Well, at least since earlier that same day.

Gerard eventually moved, sliding his arms out from underneath Frank's legs, pulling out carefully before he collapsed onto the bed next to him, hand on his chest while he tried to regulate his breathing.

There was a moment when Gerard thought that this was possibly not the greatest idea he had had, but it had happened and it had been great. More than great as a smile played on his lips. Even when the two of them were supposed to be apart, they seemed to be drawn to each other. That's what Gerard thought. It had to be something like that. Some sort of connection that couldn't be broken, or something along those lines.

Frank looked up at the ceiling, not focussing on anything, vision kind of zoning out as his heart thumped in his chest. Finally. That was all Frank could think about as his mind started to attempt to work again and his skin tingled. Frank felt high, like he had just had the best hit of his life. The best drug had just been administered to him and fuck, this was a rush. This great fucking kick that had him smiling up at the ceiling. He ached, but it was a good ache. Something he was going to remember as he focussed on one spot on the ceiling.

"Fuck," Gerard finally spoke, resting on his elbows, looking over at Frank before he pushed sweaty hair off of his brow, "So much for, like, keepin' us apart, huh?"

Frank nodded, the moment sobering him up tremendously as he ignored how Gerard had tugged the condom off, tying it and discarding it in the nearby bin. Franks eyes were still focussed on the ceiling as his heart rate started to slow and his breathing had gone back to nearly normal. The crazy intense high he loved was fading. Bright, vivid, fading to monotonous, black and white, mixed with greys. This was the normal. This was the day in day out. This was the mighty high that had climbed as far as it would go, teetering, but it plummeted. The bottom fell out of it all. The dirty, dark spot on the ceiling that Frank swore could have been water damage or something, was the one thing he couldn't take his eyes off of. The white ceiling, so pure and clean. Then there was the splodge of dirt. The horrid colour that made Frank's insides not. Almost triggering. It was the one thing that brought Frank down. Made him realise that what had just happened wasn't enough. It would never be enough. At the end of it all, he would just feel the same every time.

Dirty. Disgusting. Whore.

Franks eyes stung, blinking a few times to hold everything back. It had happened. He knew he had lost control. Frank swore that it was going to stop because he was getting married and he had a baby on the way. He couldn't keep turning to Gerard. But here he was, aching and feeling broken, weak, a man with no self control whatsoever.

Gerard had climbed off of the bed and had put his jeans back on, zipping them up as he said something to Frank. Frank however didn't respond. He didn't hear Gerard over the white noise in his head. This shouldn't have happened. Frank knew this. He should have had a little more self control over his urges. That's all they were. Nothing else. He knew this. But when Gerard was around, he found it hard to keep it all together. Gerard had made it all easy before, being the one Frank could turn to. That itch was always scratched with Gerard. That itch that burnt inside of Frank. No matter what he did to satiate it, no matter who it was with, no matter how high Frank got, he would always come crashing down after.

"You okay there Frank?" Gerard chuckled, tugging his shirt back on, watching how Frank still hadn't moved. The only part of him that moved was his hand, skimming over his chest.

The drying, tacky come on his chest just made everything feel worse. Frank felt disgusting, disgusted in himself because it had happened. Frank had deserted his bachelor party on a hunt for sex. Needs outweighing everything else. With no options, he came to the one place. The wrong place. Frank knew he should have just controlled it, pushed it down and went to join the guys back at the club, even if he didn't entirely want to be there. But it was better than where he was right now as his stomach churned and head swam with acrid thoughts.

He hated himself. He hated himself for letting it get to this point. This shouldn't have happened. But it had, and now Frank was going to be reminded of it for days. The ache rung out from where Gerard had been in him. He wanted to feel it in the heat of the moment, but now, it was just a painful reminder of the stupid mistake Frank had made as he rolled onto his side, ignoring Gerard as he curled up into a ball.

Frank muttered out something under his breath. Something self loathing as hatred for himself seeped out of every pore. Frank screwed his eyes shut, ignoring the sting in the back of them as his hands found his hair, gripping, tugging. The pain rung out on his scalp, ripping pain to replace the ache in his ass that he really didn't want to feel. The ache that angered him so much because he wished that he hadn't been so careless and reckless with his actions.

"What?" Gerard asked, hearing Frank mumble, but not quite catching what he said as he watched him. Gerard looked at him concerned, wondering what the fuck was going on in Frank's head right now to warrant his behaviour on the bed.

"You," Frank finally said, eyes opening, looking at the wall of the hotel room before he looked at Gerard with pain filled eyes,"...you."

"Me?" Gerard snorted, "What have I done?"

"What haven't you done." Frank muttered as he finally moved on the bed, sitting up, pulling his shirt down, not caring about the mess he had made, caring more about the fact that he felt so exposed and so filthy. So disgusted with himself as he grabbed his jeans off of the floor.

"Are you okay?" Gerard questioned, watching Frank scramble to get his jeans on as quickly as possible.

"Do I fuckin' look okay to you?" Frank snapped back, avoiding eye contact with Gerard. He couldn't look at him because they had done this. Frank was getting married tomorrow. Fuck, his wife to be was out there, totally unaware of what Frank had gone and done.

"What's wrong?"

"What isn't wrong?" Frank sighed harshly, scanning the hotel room floor for his shoes before he shoved them on, "This is wrong. What we did's wrong. We shouldn't have done this."

"You wanted this," Gerard answered, folding his arms across his chest, "You begged me to have sex with you."

"Well you should've stopped me!" Frank shouted back, voice cracking as he tried to hold it together. His regret eating him alive, "You know what I'm like. You could have, like, said no."

"I did say no!" Gerard raised his voice the moment he realised what Frank was trying to do. Turn this on him. Make Gerard feel like the bad guy in all of this. Frank couldn't be the bad guy. He couldn't be the guy who had purposely gone out of his way to have sex just because he could. Just because he needed to, "You insisted. I'm not the bad guy here."

"Are you sayin' I am?"

"I'm not sayin' you're the bad guy-"

"Well it fuckin' sounds like you are!" Frank shouted again, brain firing wildly as he tried to fix this. Make it seem like he could be okay with what had happened. This wasn't his fault. It couldn't be his fault. No, he was angry. So angry with Gerard for letting it get to the point that Frank hated himself for what he had done, "I'm not the bad guy here. You took advantage of me!"

"How fuckin' dare you," Gerard really shouted, really fucking angry with Frank now because of what had been said before they both ended up on the bed, "You told me that, like, I wouldn't be takin' advantage of you. You needed this. You wanted this more than I did-"

"So you didn't want this?"

"I'd don't know what the fuck to say," Gerard sighed, scraping his fingers through his hair, "If I say yes then you'll, like, tell me I took advantage of you. If I say no then this is all um, like, gonna blow up and you'll get mad at me-"

"Well which one is it?" Frank cut Gerard off, snapping at him, wanting an answer. Had he wanted it or not?

Gerard couldn't answer. He didn't answer. He could see that Frank was spoiling for a fight now. Hyped up from sex and there was still some booze in his system. All he could do was open his mouth, then close it, knowing it was safer to keep his mouth shut right now.

"Are you gonna answer me?"

"No," Gerard admitted, "You want me to answer so you can shout at me some more about how this is all my fault. You don't want to be seen as the bad guy or the whore right now, so, like, the easiest thing to do is turn on me because you regret your decision."

Frank was stunned silent. Gerard had called him the one word that Frank didn't want to consider he was. No he was not a whore. Frank didn't want to believe it as he scowled at Gerard, clenching his hands tightly, balling into fists.

"Shut the fuck up Gerard."

"No, I won't," Gerard continued, pissed off that Frank was turning on him when he was the one that had wanted this, turning up at his hotel room with an agenda, "You can't just turn up at my hotel room, um, demanding sex from me, like, on the night before you're... Frank, you're gettin' married tomorrow. You are walkin' a stupidly fine line between bad and really fuckin' messed up. I can't keep, like, being your stress release. You can't just turn up and order me to have sex with you y'know."

Frank screwed his eyes shut, trying to ignore what Gerard was saying. Frank knew what he had done. He knew how he felt. He knew how horrible he felt right now as his fingernails dug into his palms, teeth clenching as he tried to ignore what Gerard had said, words ringing around his skull before he reacted, snapping finally.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Frank bellowed at Gerard, finally venting out. He needed to vent more though, shouting at Gerard wasn't enough. Yes it felt better, releasing pent up hate for this moment, but Frank couldn't stop himself. He was on a roll, the ache of his hatred towards himself and his actions with Gerard finally spilling out. Words weren't enough. Frank needed to break something, take his anger out on something that wasn't himself.

And the one thing in his line of sight was the food cart. The one thing he felt like he could expel anger at without hurting anyone. He couldn't hurt Gerard, no matter how mad he was at him, Frank wouldn't dare. So the food cart was the thing that Frank grabbed hold of, tipping it, flipping it over, letting out his anger onto that as the food and drink that was on the tray scattered across the floor.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Gerard shouted, staring wide eyed at Frank before he looked at the mess he had made. All the food just strewn across the floor, coffee seeping into the carpet. It was destruction. Gerard couldn't believe that Frank had done that as he wondered how the fuck he was going to explain this shit to the person who was going to come back later to take the cart away.

"You," Frank growled, walking over to Gerard, jabbing a finger against his chest, "You're what is wrong with me."

"I-"

"You fuck me off so damn much," Frank hissed as his hands grabbed onto the collars of Gerard's shirt, gripping tightly before he shoved him against the wall, "Shit, I could, like, just fuckin' punch you. You piss me off so damn much."

Frank wanted to swing at Gerard for the pain he felt. The ache he didn't want to feel. What he was going to be reminded of for days. Frank wanted to take it out on Gerard. Punch him so hard, but Frank knew he would never hurt Gerard. He couldn't bring himself to do it as he breathed heavily. His anger bubbling away, needing a release as Frank tried to figure out what he was going to do.

And he did as he let go of Gerard's shirt collars. He stormed over to the one thing he knew he could take his anger out on that was linked to Gerard. He had to do this. He wanted Gerard to feel just how he felt.

And the canvas Gerard had been painting was the thing that Frank to door has anger out on. The punch he wanted to throw at Gerard, he threw at the canvas, fist breaking through the paint and the canvas as the easel tumbled to the floor. He tugged the broken art work off of his fist, tossing it to the floor before he scowled at Gerard.

"Fuck you." Frank spat at Gerard, storming past him before he walked to the hotel room door, opening it before he slammed it behind him, leaving Gerard wondering how the fuck he was going to deal with what Frank had just gone and done.


	10. 9- It's Oh So Quiet, Unless it's Gerard Way

chapter by xotragician_child

Chapter 9

Gerard stood there on the sidelines, managing as hard as he could, with every ounce he could muster, to keep a poker face. He watched despondently as Frank and Jamia began their first dance as husband and wife. The look on Frank’s face, the medley of anxiety, fear and overall terror was enough to have the elder smiling slightly despite his own unhappy mood.

Frank continued his slow circles, hands gripping Jamia’s waist as though his life depended on it, watching Jamia flinch slightly every now and again and an apologetic murmur escaped Frank’s lips every time he would trample her toes or stumble against her.

Gerard was vaguely aware that Frank had taken dance lessons. Well, more than vaguely aware, he had accompanied his best friend to said lessons. He knew it was for moral support but at the same time it was for his own amusement.

Frank Iero can’t dance.

It was official.

And even after the instructor had left the studio Gerard tried to help his best friend learn to dance. Gerard knew how to ballroom dance, having his Nanna teach him when he was younger.

But no, Frank Iero had two left feet. The only thing he had managed to do was half of the final number from Dirty Dancing. He had offered to lift up Gerard in the air above his head but Gerard knew better. He knew he'd probably end up being dropped and probably end up falling on top of Frank. Either it would end up with Frank being broken in half with the heavy weight on top of him or it would end up with them making out on the wooden floor.

Gerard wanted neither.

But Frank did deserve brownie points for trying his damn well best.

Gerard chugged down the last of his bubbly and looked at the clear crystal, blinking hard, frowning at the blurred, stretched shapes in it. He sighed, turning and chucking it in the trash can, looking it over for a moment before he shrugged and walked over, throwing another glance at the newlyweds that were slowly being joined by other couples on the designated linoleum flooring.

Gerard went over to the table he was sat at, being table two, despite being the best man at the wedding, Frank had decided it was in everyone’s best interests that Gerard sat at the next table. Sure, with the way they were seated, Gerard was still only a foot or so away from Frank and could easily turn in his chair to speak to him, but it was the principle of the entire thing of course.

Frank and Jamia sat at the head table along with her brother Evan and Jamia’s bridesmaids and Frank’s other groomsmen.

And Gerard sat with Frank’s parents and cousins at the very next table.

Awkward didn’t even begin to describe the way he was feeling because he, Gerard, was the best man and he didn’t even get to sit at the head table. He could see their puzzled faces and their soft whispered questions.

It made it all worse.

The dancing was now over for Frank and Jamia as he ushered her through the dancing festivities and out to where his mother was standing. Gerard frowned, watching.

He watched as Frank and his bride posed for photos.

Frank had stood at her side, his hand poised protectively over her stomach even though no one else knew she was expecting.

For the second time, however sad the first time was, indeed, and Gerard could see how badly Frank was keen on keeping his new wife and their unborn child safe.

They smiled happily, an actual happy smile on both of their faces, not forced like Gerard’s own facial expression.

Jamia looked over at her husband with a fond smile, a gleaming expression that had Gerard’s mouth souring as he wished to clutch at a stemmed flute of champagne.

His head was buzzing slightly, knowing full well that he had probably polished off almost two bottles of champagne himself.

He wasn’t drunk.

No.

Gerard Way never got drunk anymore.

He walked over to the long buffet table and grabbed another crystal flute and picked up another emerald coloured bottle, tipping it and watching the fizzy liquid pour into the glass with a shaky torrent.

He filled the glass to the very brim and set the bottle down, the glass going in the opposite direction, meeting with his lips.

He took in a large sip of the bitter, almost apple-y tasting alcohol, swallowing almost half the glass in one go.

He scowled darkly at the happy couple under the alcove and sniffed indignantly. His head was all but pulsating with a drunken buzz now, his stomach tight and fuzzy.

“Hey G-man.”

Gerard turned to see Frank’s long time best friend Kat von D stop beside him, her short black dress showcasing her beautiful ink.

She tucked a piece of her long black hair behind her ear, her red lips pulled into a smile.

“Hey.” Gerard replied, frowning as she began to waver in his vision.

“You okay, man?”

“Peachy.”

“You sure? I mean I know this isn't a great day for you with all things considered but dude, he's your best friend.”

“I know.” Gerard sighed and turned to look at her bright brown eyes, “You know how it is, Kat.”

“You bet, dude.” she sighed, putting an arm around Gerard’s shoulder, pulling him closer, “Just wait it out okay? I love them both. And you. And I don't wanna see anyone hurtin’, man.”

“I guess.”

“If you ever need someone to talk to or somewhere to crash to get away from everyone and everything, you're always welcome in Cali.”

Gerard smirked, “Don't tempt me. One day I'll just show up in California and never leave.”

“At least you'll have one friend.” she smiled and Gerard nodded, laying his head on her tattooed shoulder as her arm dropped.

He looked at her as she began not so gracefully pigging out on a cupcake, smiling slightly before he gave her shoulder a squeeze. She smiled, licking frosting from her finger as Gerard walked off.

He drank the rest of his…. Ninth glass and set it down before he wandered over to the small group of people and watched Frank and Jamia pose for photos, almost every single one that was possible had Frank holding her stomach.

“Me thinks thou doth protest too much, Frank Iero.” Gerard muttered, slurring under his breath.

He wangled his way through the couple of people to stand right in front, catching Frank’s gaze for a fleeting second.

Frank took Jamia’s hand and they walked over to another table, a table where Frank’s cousin and his wife were sitting. He gave his cousin a one armed hug before he pulled a piece of paper from his jacket pocket, handing it to his cousin.

Gerard frowned, sidling around slightly to try and see what it was when he froze, watching all four of them turn for a photo with Frank and Jamia bending slightly to fit into the frame. It was when Frank’s cousin, one of many that Gerard had already forgotten the name of, held the photo up to the photographer that Gerard swallowed thickly.

Jamia’s ultrasound scan of the baby. Sure no one at the wedding knew the real reason they tied the knot but Gerard didn't doubt that Frank had spilled the beans to some of his family.

The photo was snapped and the picture handed back to Frank, who pocketed it and slid his arm around Jamia, laying his hand in her waist.

Gerard pursed his lips unhappily and scowled at them. It was as though the look had some sort of radar because the moment it happened, Frank’s attention was on Gerard yet again.

Gerard stared at him for what felt like ages, eyes locked unbeknownst to everyone else. Metres between them couldn't amount for the culpable tension between them. It was thick enough to cut with a knife and Gerard knew Frank could feel it just as he could.

It was the first time in so long that they had looked at each other this way, and it physically pulled at Gerard’s insides as though he was having them literally tied in knots and bows.

Frank muttered something to his wife and she looked over at Gerard, biting her lip before nodding. Frank gave her hand a squeeze before he let go and wandered over to his best friend.

“You okay?”

“Fine…” Gerard breathed out simply.

“Jesus, you reek of alcohol, Gee.” Frank muttered, concern and surprise being the undertone of his voice.

“‘M fine…” Gerard replied, rocking slowly on his heels.

“Let me get you some water.” Frank said softly.

“I said I’m fine!” Gerard yelled slightly louder, causing some nearby to glance over. Frank grimaced slightly, holding Gerard’s forearm.

“Keep your voice down.” he muttered.

“No! I don’t fucking have to!” Gerard managed just as loudly, with more people turning to look at them despite the music playing.

“Gerard for God sake, you’re pissed.”

“Yeah I am! With you!” Gerard rounded on Frank, who jerked back in surprise.

“No- You’re… God, Gerard. You’re drunk. You were doing so-”

“Yeah well now I’m not, okay! I’m not!” Gerard seethed, throwing dark daggers down at Frank, who was turning a mortified shade of pink.

“Please just… Just calm down, okay?”

“Calm? I am calm! Perfectly fucking calm!” he yelled and looked around, “What! Can I help any of you with something!”

“Gerard don’t yell at my guests!” Frank hissed angrily.

“I’ll yell at whoever the fuck I want to!” Gerard yelled, just about proving his point.

“What the fuck has gotten into you?!” Frank’s voice was rising now, anger set in his eyes, his jaw locking.

“I’ll fucking tell you what.”

“Well fucking good, let it out then, get it out of your system.” Frank spat.

“Frank, what the hell is going on here?” Jamia asked as she walked over, looking incredibly flustered.

Gerard stopped her nearby, holding up a finger before he rounded on her, “You.”

She frowned, her cheeks growing pink as more and more people slowly crept forward to survey the scene.

"Wh-?" She began.

"You. You don't deserve him. You never have and you never will. You're just a fat gold digger who got knocked up to keep him around. I see right through your lies and your bullshit. How fucking dare you."

"Gerard!"

"How dare I?" Jamia asked, her voice cracking and her eyes watering, "How dare you! This was supposed to be my day! This- How! How dare you come in here, after we let you in with open arms, you come here and insult me. Us! You have no right!" Jamia yelled, her fists balling as people began to whisper, suddenly aware that Jamia was knocked up.

"I have all right when I'm protecting my best friend!"

"Gerard!" Frank yelled, grabbing his shoulder, "I'm a grown man, I don't need protecting! Leave my wife alone!"

It was the simple utterance of the word from Frank's mouth. It was that four letter word that might have been what broke Gerard Way. Forever.

There was no going back.

Even if Jamia and Frank got divorced, Gerard would always have the memory of the word rolling from Frank's tongue, the way Frank, his best friend and ex lover chose this woman over him.

Granted they were together since high school and yes Frank had gotten her pregnant not once but twice, but the fact remained that Gerard just wasn't good enough for Frank. Not good enough to be chosen over the woman Gerard tried so hard to be. He tried to dye his hair and cut it the same, tried to dress the same, act the same.

But Gerard Way would never, ever be good enough for Frank Iero.

"-Never ever be good enough!" Gerard continued babbling drunkenly, throwing insult after insult over Frank's arm at Jamia, who was crying on her brother's shoulder.

"Gerard shut up!" Frank yelled, extending his arm back before snapping it forward, the loud sound of skin on skin resonated through the alcove as Frank's palm connected with Gerard's face, his head shooting to the side swiftly.

It was silent as Gerard took a moment to realise what had happened. He shivered slightly and looked at Frank, his eyes watering slightly.

"Fuck you." Gerard slurred, looking between Frank and Jamia before running out of the reception hall and out into the pool area.

Gerard sniffed, staring at the darkened, sparkling water, wiping his nose.

He hated this.

Detested it.

This was officially the worst day of his life, bar none.

Gerard shrugged his jacket off and set his phone and cigarettes on top, resting the pile on one of the pool loungers before he walked over to the edge of the dark water.

He was glad the pool area had been cordoned off, having it be connected with the reception hall and all. So that now when he wanted to drown, there would be no onlookers.

He sighed, staring down at his shiny black dance shoes before he closed his eyes, stepping into the water. He sank down into the freezing abyss, the water splashing loudly, hitting a deep bass note as he went under, bubbles rising and tickling his skin as though he had been emerged in the champagne that would ultimately kill him.

He felt himself rise back up, his head breaking the water as he took in a gasp of air, sputtering softly before he sighed, floating up onto his stomach.

He lay there in the water peacefully, his eyes closed, his breath pressed against his chest.

“Gerard what are you…” Frank asked as he came out, dance shoes clacking on the tile, “Oh for the love of God. I swear if you've died I will be fucking furious.”

Gerard didn't move, floating on the water, his arms and legs sprawled comfortably like a dead body only would. He could hear Frank sigh and walk further around the pool.

“Y’know….” Frank began, letting out a grunt, “If you are dead, I'm not cleaning this up. I will leave you here.”

Gerard heard a small scrape of metal on metal and another grunt from Frank when he felt something underneath his stomach, a square shape.

“Fuck sake. Help me roll you over, you dick. You're gonna die.” Frank managed with a grunt and Gerard then realised it was a pool skimmer Frank was using to roll him onto his back.

But Gerard refused to move a muscle, letting his best friend struggle.

He heard Frank swearing under his breath as he was slowly pushed through the water, his arm hitting the wall when Frank slowly began rolling him, poking him with the skimmer until Gerard flopped onto his back, sinking.

Gerard went under with the force of Frank’s last nudge with the skimmer, rolling onto his back before he floated back up. He let out a loud gasp of air, his lungs gracious for the oxygen as the water lapped at his face. He floated through the water, his eyes turning to see Frank standing at the edge of the pool, skimmer in hand, leaning it up with his other hand on his hip.

“You're a jackass.” Frank simply commented.

“What are you doing here?” Gerard croaked out, exhaling air through his parted lips, spraying water away from his mouth.

“I,” Frank said as he turned, perching himself on the very edge of the pool lounger, setting the skimmer at his feet, resting his elbows on his knees, “am sitting here making sure my drunk bestfriend doesn't die while my wife has a heart attack inside and tries to impale me once again with one of the necks of the ice swans.”

Gerard stared up at the stars in the sky, twinkling happily, daunting and teasing.

“I wonder if chickens know they're called chickens.” Gerard wondered out loud, feeling the cool water carrying him slowly around.

“I- Well I don't know…” Frank replied simply, “Or fish.”

“Oh no, fish know. They know they're fish. Rat bastards always know.” Gerard scowled, “But chickens. Not chickens. Chickens don't know.”

“Well I suppose-”

“I've always wanted a dragon egg. Not a dragon. Just the egg. But. The rainbow one from that Barney movie, y’know? The one with all the colour rings.” Gerard began again, his brain wallowing in the damp swill of alcohol induced swamp of his consciousness.

“Oh yeah? Why that one in particular?”

“It's pretty colours.” Gerard muttered serenely.

“Well it is, but I haven’t seen that movie in years.” Frank said simply and Gerard frowned, watching the white and orange lights of an airplane flickering through the sky.

“If Buzz Lightyear doesn't know he's a toy, why doesn't he talk when humans are around?” Gerard asked, frowning to himself as the questioned perplexed him thoroughly.

“I actually don't know, I-”

“I mean that's weird though. Even in his box, like, he just didn't do anything and then he freezes like they do.” Gerard scowled.

“I don't know, Gerard. Ask the director.” Frank sighed, sounding exasperated.

“Maybe I fuckin’ will.” Gerard replied, making a mental note to send a strongly worded letter, “Frank?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think that when butterflies fall in love they feel humans in their stomachs?”

“Well I don't…”

“What do you think humans feel like, Frankie?”

“Feel like? Like skin I suppose.” Frank replied and Gerard let out a small drunken giggle at his response.

“No no, you goose. Ugh. I hate geese. Do you know I hate geese? They're so rude and cocky and they-”

“Gerard.”

“Huh?”

“Humans and butterflies.” Frank reminded and Gerard let out a grunt, going back onto his original train of thought and away from the feathered minions of the Antichrist.

“Well I mean its easy to describe what butterflies feel like on the inside. But what do humans feel like on the inside?” Gerard wondered out loud, eyebrows knitted together in deep thought.

“I know what you feel like on the inside.” Frank said out loud and Gerard nodded simply, not quite understanding what Frank meant.

“Oh well yeah I mean my butterflies probably feel the same as yours and-”

“I meant your anus, Gerard. I meant your actual insides, you fuckwad.”

Gerard let out another drunken giggle, “Oh. You know what my anus feels like.”

“And not just with my dick.” Frank said bluntly and Gerard let out a small snort, grinning.

“I know what you feel like on the inside too, Frankie.” Gerard reminded him as he turned slightly to gaze at Frank, who hadn't moved.

“Be that as it may…” Frank said as he ran a hand through his hair, “No one knows your insides more than I do, sugar. And you will never know mine anywhere near as close.”

Gerard stared at him for a moment, Frank's face defocusing and refocusing every now and again, his stomach churning as those words brought up hazy memories, “You don't know that.”

“So, are you coming out soon?” Frank asked suddenly, changing the subject all together, looking flustered. Gerard didn't even notice the sudden change or the awkwardness this time and merely carried on.

“Pool or sexuality?” Gerard chided and he heard Frank sigh, his voice dulled by the water.

“Pool, Gee. Everyone knows your sexuality, friend or fan.”

“You think?”

“Come the fuck on, look at you all over me and Bert or even Adam.” Frank sighed, “Despite having dated Kat or Eliza for all those years, I mean c’mon.”

“I’m not gay.” Gerard cleared, “I’m, indifferent to whatever is in someone’s pants.”

“Bisexual or pansexual?”

“Probably bisexual.” Gerard mumbled.

“Get out of the pool, Gee.”

“No.”

“Gerard, get out of the water before you drown.”

“Then I drown.” Gerard said simply.

“You aren’t going to drown yourself at my wedding, Gerard.”

“How do you know? I would.”

“Oh I know you would, I mean you’re that much of a dick. But when I say you aren’t, I mean I won’t let you. I’ve stopped you before and I will again.”

“When?” Gerard frowned, glancing at Frank, who had yet to move, perched still on the edge, hands hanging lazily between his knee caps.

“You don’t remember?”

“Remember what?”

“You were so drugged up.” Frank sighed, getting up as he picked up the pool skimmer and walked over to the edge of the pool, “You don’t even remember.”


End file.
